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 Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 5:58 pm
 The weather today was somewhere between breezy and windy, and Atae had tied her chocolate locks back to keep them from scattering in the wind and blocking her vision. Her hazel-green eyes darted back and forth as she sought to make sure she was still on course. This was about where she'd first seen him... although that was no guarantee.
Finally she stopped and sat, the wind ruffling her mottled brown fur and causing a shiver to run down her spine. She set down the plain red lunch pale she carried her her maw and untied one of the bottles of tea that adorned her belt to take a sip.
The unaware, if they happened to pass her on this little used side-trail of the mountain, might have though her to be hiking or some such. One particular might suspect otherwise; know otherwise, really, if he happened upon her again. Why else, after all, would she be waiting here near where she'd last encountered him?
Riku. The strange dark-robed male with the blindfold that covered his eyes and wrapped around his unruly pale hair. The lunchbox contained four things; a piece of apple, one of cherry, and one of blueberry pie, and a piece of cheesecake. A peace offering, or something of the sort, if he'd take any of it. She still wasn't sure what she'd done to upset him when she'd met him before; aside from following him, but she hadn't really been able to control that, which still bothered her. It left an unsettled feeling in her soul to leave things on a bad note with someone who was undeserving of it, as he was in her eyes. She'd brought a second bottle of tea, too, if he might want that...
In all honesty, she wasn't expecting to see him. After his various reactions to her last time, she rather felt he'd probably avoid her. And since she'd already been through... whatever it was that made her follow him the first time, she wasn't likely to end up doing so again should he pass nearby. She would not do so intentionally, at any rate. If he did stop, though... Well, she'd offer him pie and a bottle of tea. At least, she hoped to. Her tails were curled stiffly around her feet, almost protectively, as her anxiety grew. Robbed of the odd novelty of the circumstances that led to her first meeting with him, she found her shy streak kicking in full force; she only hoped that she would avoid the utter embarrassement of fleeing the scene should he appear and be cross with her. But either way... if he wished her gone, she would go. That was all speculation, though, and not helpful at the moment.
As her wait grew longer she found herself hoping that he actually even liked pie... if he didn't that might prove even more akward, and she was having difficulty as it was.
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 5:39 pm
 He came as the wind died down, cresting the uneven ground in his customary shade of black and silently bearing the burden of some nameless responsibility. The cloak of silence that had been so active before appeared to have deteriorated to sullen whispers about his ankles, becoming less and less necessary as the world around him began to initiate a doubtful reception, drawing him out of the fabric of wherever he had wandered before and plunging him into reality. But he did not go easily, and so the presence of him remained somehow stagnant and electric, at once ignoring and opposing the subduing embrace of his surroundings. It had never been a question of whether or not he belonged - paws leaving only the faintest of imprints and mind filled with irreversible mistakes and what they had cost those around him. He already knew the answer; the reminder was part of his penance.
Riku stilled, both aspects of reflection and motion temporarily suspended as the vaguest brush of sensory information related what had changed along the path since he'd walked it earlier that morning. Someone on the trail, someone occupying the space that had once housed only open air and choking motes of dust from a too-windy night. The soft, breezy currents that remained to whip his hair into a frothy sea gave off a stormy fragrance, but they also carried her telltale scent, and from the retreating depths of civility he scavenged a name.
Atae.
Here, out in the open and waiting with something that smelled suspiciously like baked goods, he was suddenly aware that she had been expecting him. He didn't know what to make of it, what reaction was appropriate when it came to a situation so obviously out of his zone of comfort. The kitsusagi was startled and apprehensive and yet the expression on his face refused to identify with either feeling, the ability to wear such emotions ground down by ages of coarse sea salt and shadows.
And yet they were there, beneath the rocking waves of his displacement, and he wondered what it was that had possessed her to try again after their last disaster. Perhaps he had been mistaken in presuming her sensible, sticking her paw into the fire once and then she was there again, staring into the tempting flames, and damned if she wasn't expecting to come out minus the scorch marks this time.
He didn't have to go to her, did not have to approach and nurse whatever flawed thought processes had led up to the moment of their second meeting. But the shame for his senseless offense during their last encounter had come back with the memory of her name, and he felt an obligation to become a reluctant participant if only for a spare second where she could say his name as though it was not some long overused metaphor and they could each extend their own pretend-brand of courtesy.
Riku stepped toward her, stopping again only when they were within comfortable speaking distance and his nose was nearly overwhelmed by fruit and sugar. He said nothing, waiting for her to begin the almost unnecessary dance of communication while he watched her silhouette through the nightmare cloth over his eyes.
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 7:35 pm
Atae fumbled in her mind for something better to say than a simple "Hi", one paw rising from the ground to rub nervously at the other as she sought for something to say. It was an unconscious gesture, one she'd managed to train herself to rarely use but it still cropped up from time to time when she was feeling particularly out of her depth.
Finally she caught herself and set her paw down, deciding just to get to the point of why she'd brought herself here; at least, in part. She pushed the container of food forward a couple of feet and sat back. "I brought pie... three different kinds. And a piece of cheesecake." As an afterthough she untied the other bottle of tea and put it by the food before sitting back again. "And some tea. You don't have to take it. I just... thought I'd offer."
If she'd known how his thoughts mirrored her own about senseless offence offered at their last encounter she might have laughed. More likely not; he was far too sobering a presence to elicit such reaction from her, especially with the bizarre novelty that initiated their meeting long since worn off. She did wonder briefly what he thought about the fact that she believed he was worth a second chance, but drove the thought away. Speculation on his thoughts and feelings were what had caused their first encounter to be cut so abruptly short, and while it was an honest mistake she hoped to avoid it again.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 8:22 pm
He gradually trained his gaze into looking away from her, the hidden intensity of them instead directed toward the offering of food, his mood unaffected. She had extended it with hesitation enough to bring her actions into question, but Riku doubted sincerely that she was supplying him with tainted goodies as a form of revenge. Pettiness seemed a very far away thing whenever he was in her company, but there was awkwardness enough on her end to make up for it.
"You waited on this trail," He began slowly, choosing his words with thoughtful consideration. "Not certain that I would appear - or that even if I did, if I would approach - to offer me... pie?" There was a hint of curiosity in his tone, perhaps even vague amusement if one dared to mine deep enough to uncover it. But there was a distinct lack or ridicule, almost as though he had purposefully barred anything disheartening from his tone. His last tirade had done damage enough and the silver-haired male knew it.
Nonetheless, the entirety of the situation remained ludicrous, a fanciful excursion in simple and plain terms, and he circled back around to his previous thoughts about sticking a paw into flame and expecting not to get burned. Yet at the same time, he found himself reluctantly admiring her gall and persistence while comparing it to his own stubborn streak. It was not just pie and cheesecake that she wanted him to partake of, chasing it down with what was likely too sweet tea and insipid conversation, but she also seemed to want to open up a line of communication that was not nearly so fragile.
He waited for her returning explanation, making no move toward the container as the sinuous length of his tails stretched out in a thoughtless gesture of relaxation. There was nothing nearby that would have induced fear, and Atae had proven with sweets and nervousness that she was no reason to remain tense. It was a small concession, but significant nonetheless.
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 9:24 pm
She paused for a moment, wondering how best to explain herself. She caught his relaxation but was undecided on whether it helped to abate her nervousness or made it worse. Finally she decided that since blunt honesty seemed to be working so far she might as well continue with it.
"Peace offering. Whatever you want to call it. I'm not sure what it was about what I said that offended you before, but I figure you had your reasons. And while you had a point when you said I don't know you... well..." Suddenly she lost all pretense at boldness and looked demurely at her toes. "I guess I felt like you deserved a second chance?"
A silent moment passed before she added in a soft voice, "And... I dunno, I guess I also thought you might like some pie. And it's black tea... mix of them, actually... no added sugar. I hope you don't mind... it just starts to taste kinda funny when there's too much sugar in it and it sits for a while..." She realized she was on the verge of rambling aimlessly, if she hadn't already crossed the border, so she took a drink from her own bottle and made herself sit quiet and still so he could answer... if he chose to.
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Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 3:51 pm
"We all have our reasons," He replied somewhat cryptically, following it up with a self-deprecating smirk when he fully heard his own words. "But sometimes things that we say are reasonable end up being just the opposite."
The tilt to his lips vanished when she declared that he was worthy of another opportunity, knowing that she was not purposefully trying to wound his pride but still stinging nonetheless. Riku waited until she had worn her words out, his posture still deceptively at ease as a cloud ate up the sunlight. The coolness of that moment made his spine tingle beneath the heavy fabric of his trench coat, his ears lifting spare centimeters in case something was amiss and needed identification. But then the sun was back in place and Atae was talking again, something about sugar and its pitfalls.
"What if I don't feel like I deserve another chance?" He asked casually, unnaturally still and slick and a hundred other contradictions bound up in shining leather armor and lunar-soaked hair. "It's a risky business, those second chances, and they hardly ever pay off in the end. The same demands, the same expectations, the same people: why would someone who failed the first time around succeed on another go?"
Maybe it was optimism, crushable, fallible, mortal. Just as he was. Another cloud passed over the sun, a legion of them occupying the sky like an army waiting for some signal. When the obstruction was gone, he did not warm beneath the sun's rays again. Some days, it felt as though it would never touch him, and on others it felt as though it never had.
"More importantly, what if I hadn't liked pie?" The smile was back, not quite teasing but with a sharp edge beneath it that would slice again if he wasn't careful. "Placating the enemy with insufficient means isn't the best strategy, Atae. Peace offerings are only useful if you know what you're fighting for."
But then, we aren't at war, are we? We just aren't allies either...
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 4:05 pm
His words about placating enemies, while pertinent, didn't seem entirely applicable to the situation. At least not to Atae. "You may not have proved to be my friend, but you haven't proved yourself my enemy. I only have one enemy, and even if I don't really know who you are... I can tell you're not like him." And even if you don't want to be my friend, I think I'll be your friend. That's just the sort of person I am. I can't help this weird feeling I get that you're on the edge of reality, hoping and dreading at the same time that someone will try to pull you back. "And if you didn't like pie... well... I'd find out. And ask you what you do like. Not that I'm really sure you'd be inclined to tell me, but I'd still try."
She pondered a moment what to say about the things he'd said about second chances. "Second chance probably wasn't the right phrase for what I'm doing... more like... a second try? My second try. I felt I owed it to you to apologize. As for second chances..." here she paused again. "From everything I've discovered in my realm of experience, not that I can really claim I know a lot... Second chances are given to those who most need them, whether they want them or think they deserve them. Even if they do make the same mistakes. Not that it has anything to do with either of us. Just... somewhere, somewhen, all the people who get a second chance have someone who really cares about them that think they deserve one. Someone who hasn't given up on them even if they've given up on themselves." She turned her head again, and shrugged. "That's the way it always goes in stories... and that's the way it was for Valefor and Ifrit, or so they told me. Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction, right?" And just because she felt the need to say it... "Feelings aren't always reasonable, so sometimes neither are the actions of those who care about what happens to you."
She didn't even really give him time to say anything to that last bit before she said, "I hope that didn't offend you. That's just what I think, what I feel, what I believe, and I don't know if it has anything to do with you or not. You can have the food, keep it, or I'll take it with me if you don't want it. And I'll go if you ask me to. And I'll try not to come back and bother you if you want me to stay away, but I can't promise that. There are demons and shadows and I don't know what all else up here..." She looked down at her tea bottle, rocking it back and forth with her tail as if waiting to be dismissed. She wasn't sure why she couldn't finish the sentence. There are demons and shadows and I don't know what all else up here, and I'd be too worried about you not to come check once in a while... Aside from her sudden conviction to be his friend whether he reciprocated or not she had no explanation for her worry. And she'd been worried even before she came back today, whether she'd admit it to herself or not.
He could take care of himself. She could tell. But still... strange things happened on this mountain sometimes. Things that not even he might be able to handle alone. Hipocritical though it was for her to think that when she went wandering about up here and didn't know the first thing about defending herself other than to run away. Maybe she ought to ask Grandpa Dante about that...
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Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 5:14 pm
Her multiple pauses gave him ample time to formulate a response, but he kept his thoughts as closely guarded as he did his eye color, jaw carefully locked and mouth of neutral slope. Riku had discovered long ago that saying nothing sometimes presented a better foothold than continually arguing his case, especially in the face of those who were certain of their own standing. In spite of that, some of the things she said stuck, fishhooks burrowing under his skin at impossible angles and forcing him to leave them momentarily where they'd pierced his accusations. He didn't even smile at the pie comment, quite possibly the most ridiculous aspect of the entire dispute and what had unintentionally been allowed to break the hush between them.
Atae's explanation spilled out longer still, and it was as if they were dancing badly - constantly stepping on each other's paws, twisting ankles on goodwill - and she was the only one apologizing, though she seemed intent on acting contrite enough for the both of them. It simultaneously irritated and intrigued him, much as meeting with her had done the first time around. Had she not just blamed him for their poor interaction ten sentences before? Had he misinterpreted or had she simply changed tactics? Riku suspected a measure of each was required, but only if he gave her the benefit of the doubt, and he wasn't entirely certain he was willing to give a stranger so much undue latitude. She had proven to be doggedly persistent in finding him and possibly befriending him, but he could not yet comprehend why. Of all the things she had said, all the explanations she had given, the detail that linked them all together was absent.
Or maybe she had said and he wasn't listening. Maybe she'd handed him the answer, wrapped in gold foil with ribbons of obvious hinting and he simply hadn't understood. It should have frightened him more, but all he could manage was a peculiarly tired acceptance. Stay huddled in darkness long enough and you won't realize what anyone’s saying anymore... I probably should've read the fine print on that one. Too late for it now.
Riku heard her trail off, enjoying the brief period of silence while he collected a few choice thoughts. "... I'm not offended." He began guardedly, suspecting she might interrupt him to explain herself further if he gave her the opportunity. If he knew nothing else of the female, he was at least aware of how earnest she could be. "But I don't know what you want from me, what you're expecting me to say or do. If you're concerned for my wellbeing, know that I am capable of defending and supplying myself without trouble. If you're worried that you've somehow made an enemy, then I will tell you honestly that it was not here. Beyond that, I'm not sure what reassurances you were looking for. I don't have many to offer."
The kitsusagi didn't bother touching down on the matter of whether or not she stayed. It certainly wasn't his mountain, and he had no control over her visits, even if they were specifically meant for him. Realistically, he could avoid her easily enough if it came to that, but he did not think anything so drastic would be necessary.
The leather of his coat shifted as he moved back to a stand, anticipating their discussion was reaching its conclusion. He scented the air, blindfold stirring from where it had grown loose around the back of his head. "And keep your food; it will just go to waste up here."
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Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 8:43 pm
Atae felt neither encouraged or discouraged. Indeed, she'd recieved neither acceptance nor disapproval to spark either emotion. Admittedly, though, she was relieved that he hadn't sent her away, and her hazel-green eyes shone with a sort of gratitude, though it was doubtful he could see anything of it.
He stood to go, seemingly aware that she hadn't really much else to say. She could take the pie to her grandfather; she was pretty sure he liked pie. She decided to tie the handle of the lunchbox to her belt with the tea bottles as it had grown quite uncomfortable to carry it in her mouth as she had earlier.
"I know I probably can't do much... but if I ever can do anything for you, I just want you to know you can feel free to ask." Was there anything else really to say? She flicked her head to toss a chocolate lock of hair back out of her face and decided on, "...Goodbye, Riku."
((Shoooort. But... there's really not much else to be said, at least for now. o.0))
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Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 6:30 pm
The kitsusagi waited while Atae gathered her things, his attention focused elsewhere though some distant part of him was aware of her movements. He noted everything she touched and took from their spot on the mountain, gaze barely hindered as rare light peeked in from the top of his veiled vision. On some level, Riku was relieved that she had not argued her point further, or demanded some more introspective look into why he could only answer a handful of her questions - and those he replied to with more riddles. He did not feel particularly open to such an interrogation, and though he had set out with the expectation of remaining at least passably sociable, it had been more difficult when she'd immediately stepped to what had made them start off on the wrong foot in the first place. But they had resolved it, or at least buried it deep with so many other confusions that it no longer mattered.
When she spoke, only one large ear swiveled toward her, the slack of his blindfold wrapped around the other and threatening to tug it loose if he moved much. It was an awareness that most others could not have boasted of, but such a cautious approach did not feel worthy of pride to him, not when he hid his gaze and schooled his expression into a mask of indifference. There was more shame than conceit in him.
Her offer sank slowly into his consciousness, and for a long moment he neither moved nor spoke, a stunned and slightly sick feeling worming through his system. If she had known what it was she offered, Atae might have taken everything back, but he could no more have explained it to her than he could have reasoned it out for himself.
"Goodbye." He said crisply in response, turning and walking away without a sound. The fall of his paws raised little of the unsettled topsoil even as he stretched out his legs and all but fled.
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