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 Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 6:19 pm
Lorioth searched the face, sensing the lie and knowing if only half heartedly that this wasn't enough. Not from Rylenn, and not from himself. So his hand tightened on the grip he had reaching out with one hand and wiping at the tracks on his face.
"I'm not good at this." he murmured, his voice soft and gentle as he tried to dry the face, his fingers getting tangled in some of the hair. "I don't know how to talk... much. And I'm not good and trying to ask."
It was a silly, if short and real confession, and he attempted once more to drag Rylenn back to the brighter dining room. It was easier. And he needed to know, really, that Rylenn was alright.
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 6:29 pm
Rylenn nodded slowly and slipped inside. He went and sat down in the dining room, keeping his hair in his face. He looked at the wine and debated, but stopped.. he wouldn't drink himself stupid in front of the other.
"I'll pick myself up and be gone... soon.."
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 7:05 pm
Lorioth closed the door and looked around, trying in vain to remember what others would do in a situation like this-- because the doctor simply did not have the imagination to imagine.
He sat down-- perhaps it was cowardly, but he did so, having shuffling one of the chairs so that it was almost facing the other boy. It was like this, leaning forewords with a perplexed expression on his face that Lorioth tried in vain to ... to what?
Change roles, almost.
It was he who leaned across and touched Rylenn's face, placing with a little bit of the hair on his head and tried to catch his gaze. "What is it?"
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 7:14 pm
"What is what..?" Was the soft reply. He was already trying to pull himself together.. put something fake on.. He wondered if he had shown too much of his real self to ever be fake with Lorioth again. He looked at the other, but just as he was about to steel himself.. he couldn't. He leaned close and leaned his head on Lorioth's, cheek to cheek. It almost looked like he had been trying to kiss the other.
"Tell me.. something no one else knows..." No excuses.. or he'd leave..
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 7:22 pm
Was this it? Was this what had been the final straw for the first year student? Coming to his own conclusions that it must have been, he was somewhat hesitant- but not unwilling. Lorioth was a pliant, submissive man when dealing with force, with dominance, and this... well.
This was close enough to a command for the shy doctor.
He didn't want to whisper the words to have it lose meaning. He didn't want it lost in the air and in the hair of his confidante. So he turned his head, shifting until they were eye to eye.
"It still hurts." he murmured, quietly. "Sometimes, everything still hurts."
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 7:30 pm
Rylenn moved back to his position.. wanting to be close to the other. "Don't move away please.. I don't want you to see me cry.. I don't want you of all people to see me cry.." His voice was just as soft...
"What hurts...? I'm not a student from 5 PM to 7:30 AM.. I'm Rylenn MacGreggors.. and your friend. Please.. talk to me.. I wanna make it better.."
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 7:35 pm
Since when had crying been such a bad thing?
The thought drifted through his head long enough for him to pause. He had never liked to break down in front of other people, and yet on the other side, he wondered why it was so important to control ones self.
But this?
This was too much. For himself. For others. And the questions, no matter how gently they were phrased were... unwanted. No. No one had to right to hear about that, and no one had to right to poke. His expression shuttered close- not that Rylenn could see completely, but his eyes were distant and his face controlled.
This was not the first time someone had asked as a friend. And it wouldn't be the last time that he turned them down.
"Rylenn." he said quietly, almost but not quite beseeching. Stop it. "You need to understand that there are some things no one can make better." Had he ruined it? Lorioth didn't know. But he wouldn't risk what might have happened otherwise.
No. Never.
It was ironic that only in times like this, did any type of strength appear in the doctor.
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 7:47 pm
Rylenn froze. "I'm sorry..." With that.. he got up and turned.. running away as fast as he could. He had to get back.. get away.. would he be back tomorrow.. he didn't quite know.. but.. he did know that he was unwanted there.. so he would make himself scarce... and hide in his misery.
He was alone again.. pushed another away.
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Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 7:53 pm
Lorioth watched him go this time, because he didn't know what else to do. He had tried going after the boy once, only to be pushed into a corner he had no familiarity in dealing with. To do so again... would it only lead to the same questions?
He felt mild regret, watching the boy go. What had he done? And what had happened to him? But Lorioth... he didn't know what to do. Getting up, he went over to the still full glass of wine and picked it up, cradling it for a moment before pouring it down the sink.
He was in no mood to drink wine, tonight.
The boy had raised questions, and his mind tried to cope not only with the memories, but also what to do with Rylenn. He would see him tomorrow.
Maybe.
Hopefully.
What had he done wrong?
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