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Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:28 am
my poems. some with good emotions built behind them, some darker. its my art. its who i am.
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Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:29 am
Into the darkness i crawl Measured by footprints i've left behind Intranced by the shadows that overwelm Succuming to the cromson tears i find Seperating body from soul Yesterdays regerts holding me in a bind On my own i stand in the world Under the torture of my own mind
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Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 10:34 am
Never forget how she makes you feel Never regret that this feeling is real
The time we've shared It isn't a dream I can't help but notice How you're sowing up my seams Everything I've ever had Doesn't seem to compare to you These feelings indised Somehow I know are true
I'll never forget how you make me feel Ill never regret that this feeling is real You hold my hear in the palm of your hands Every choice made now, my decision stands
You've been with me Though distance has seperated us You still stand here by me And i still give you all my trust My heart races from your touch As you send shivers down my spine And i desire to be with you Until the end of all time
[[UNFINISHED]]
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Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 2:26 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 10:37 pm
You've done a wonderful job so far though you have a few spelling errors, but don't we all at times? sweatdrop The ones I could find for the first poem are: Entranced by the shadows that overwhelm Succumbing to the crimson tears i find Separating body from soul Yesterdays regrets holding me in a bind
Due to you spelling Entranced "intranced" to make the I Miss You, I would recommend changing the word to: immersed, so it still works. smile
For the second poem: How you're sewing up my seams These feelings inside I’ll never regret that this feeling is real Though distance has separated us
These really are lovely poems, and I think it's very interesting that you're using the lowercase "i" as the form of expressing yourself. Very clever.
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