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I'm going to try to explain my situation without sounding extremely whiney, but if I come off that way, I apologize. I'm in love with my best friend. We've been friends for about five years now, and about a year ago, I finally came to understand my feelings for her. A few months ago, I broke down and told her how I felt. The feeling wasn't exactly mutual. She said that even though she did care for me very much, it wasn't the same way I felt about her. We are still best friends, and we still have as much fun together as we used to. But... I still love her. Whenever I think about her, I get this dual sensation of joy and pain that I never feel any other time. And it won't go away. I've tried dating other girls (even though I never really dated her), avoiding her, being around her constantly, and just about everything else I could think of. But I just can't seem to stop loving her. If anyone has any kind of advice/commentary/etc. please share with me. I would be quite grateful. Thank you.

Thank you for your support. And yes, she's been dating a guy for the past few months, and is now living with him.

I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time, I know how it can hurt. I was completely in love with my best friend in high school. We actually dated breifly, but it didn't work out... he wasn't feeling the same way I was. We remained friends afterward... and over the next several years, every time I would get involved with someone else, suddenly he'd have "feelings" for me and I'd leave to be with him, only to have it fall apart again. We lost touch for a few years, and I learned to live without him and get on with my own life, but I never stopped thinking about him. Then, we met back up, caught up on old times, and found out our friendship was as strong as ever. Soon after that, I met the man who is now my husband. After he and I got together, my friend tells me he is really depressed... I ask why, and he tells me that he loves me (first time he ever said that)... and he realizes that I'm "the one", but he can see that he messed everything up and wasn't going to have another chance.

It's a bit ironic that after I pined after him for over 10 years, I finally get on with my life... and the tables turned. We are still the best of friends, but I will admit, things are a bit different between us.

Sometimes, it seems like if you can not be with this person, you'll just die! But, even though it is hard, all you can do is move on. You will find the right one, and when you do, it will amaze you how pale what you feel now seems in comparison to what you will feel then. *hugs*

It seems that I'm not the only one who had a unrequited love situation in highschool. The thing with mine scenario is that I liked this guy for 2 and a half years and when he went after one of our mutual friends *who turned him down flat*, I gave up on their ever being a relationship between him and I. I started liking a mutual friend *we were a big bunch of friends* and when he liked the EXACT SAME GIRL that my other crush liked, I basically gave up again, because she and I were COMPLETELY different, so I assumed that if they both liked her, then they DEFINITELY didn't like me...but they both proved me wrong and were both pining for my affection...I had just gotten rid of my call waiting, and my first crush got through first while my second crush was desperately trying to get through.

We went out for 10 months, my second crush still professed his love and his envy got the better of him and he proceeded to spread lies to my boyfriend and he believed him over and me and that was the end of our relationship. I am glad that we're not an item anymore, but I really do miss him as a friend, but we were never meant to be...and it sounds like even though you have strong feelings for this lady, that she unfortunately isn't interested in you, so it would be wise to spend less time with her and try to move on. If she asks why you're not spending as much time with her, be honest...tell her that although she's made herself perfectly clear that she doesn't feel any romantic feelings towards you, that you cannot help what your heart feels for her and that you're taking a wee break from the relationship so your heart can heal and so you can move on...and that after awhile you'll come around when your heart doesn't hurt when you see her....if she's your friend, she'll understand and give you space. If she tells you not to be melodramatic, tell her that you were being honest about your feelings and that if she can't respect you enough to respect your feelings, that perhaps it's best to stop being friends, period.