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 Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 2:04 pm
-Five buckets of soiled milk, eighteen yards of cloth, nearly 2 months, and 2 mentally scarred chickens LATER...-
After the travesty that was Halloween, Orca was wobbling on a small ladder, hanging up some sparkly garland to help get ready for Christmas. Of course, no one really trusted him to 'help' after the LAST holiday, but he didn't let those things deter him, no sir! He hummed a little holiday tune to himself, munching on one of the pieces of popcorn from the garland he was going to hang up next.
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Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 2:26 pm
Deidre walked by, watching him. "Christmas doesn't start until December!" she wailed. "We didn't even DECORATE for Thanksgiving!" It was so unsymmetrical! She held her head to her hands and climbed up to undecorate. "Anyway, since when did you want to be helpful?" she asked suspiciously. "You know that Kotatsu's still jumpy from Halloween!"
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 10:11 am
"True, true," Orca finished sticking the end of the section to the wall, not noticing Deidre's attempted sabotage, and pulled away with a grin. "But Christmas is the one holiday that I see no harm in! I rather like it, in fact." He gestured with his hands as he spoke, "Some big fat man comes down the chimney into your house and leaves behind shiny boxes that could contain anything like a ticking bomb disguised as an alarm clock, and the guy is glorified for it! Come on, there can't possibly be a better job. They even provide him with food!"
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 10:15 am
Deidre frowned. "Just remember, if you're bad you get coal!" She looked at the decorations. "And make them symmetrical, okay? I don't want to end up twitching whenever I come in here."
Susanna sauntered in at this and raised an eyebrow at the half-undecorated decorations. "I like it." she said thoughtfully. "It represents how Christmas, as a holiday, is a thin mirage for a capitalist government to incite a rush of purchases in the name of nonexistent peace on Earth and goodwill towards men." She flopped theatrically on the couch. "Good job, darling." the bat addressed to Orca.
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 10:20 am
Orca shrugged. "From coal comes diamonds, and from diamonds comes riches! AHAHAHA - ehm." He cleared his throat with a suspicious glance down the hallway. Comet had told him he was supposed to keep the maniacal laughter down to a minimum. Scared the neighbors, he'd said.
"Susanna likes it!" He claimed, sticking out his tongue. Just to spite Deidre, he planned on putting up regular garland on this side but vivid red garland on the other. With dangly things.
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Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 5:14 pm
Deidre looked briefly at Susanna, who was currently holding up an elf doll and telling it to strike for regular wages while repeatedly trying to force a pickt sign into its limp cloth hand. "Susanna isn't normal." said Deidre. Pausiing to consider her own state of mental health and that of the family's, Deidre finally sighed, giving in. "Just... Just keep it symmetrical.
"Fight the Man!" Susanna told the elf toy happily.
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:20 am
(XDDD)
Orca flashed her his trademark bad-things-are-coming smile. "Of course." He turned to Susanna and her...elf thing...with a shudder. Elves. They weren't worthy of touching him! >O If only he could take that toy and make evil duplicates of it...THEN those mall elves would get what was coming to them! His army would be GREAT. Like frosted flakes. He'd need to get that toy away from Susanna, though.
"Heeey!" He called down to her, hopping to the floor from his ladder. He leaned in close with a cheshire smirk and his hands clasped behind his back. "I can rig that for you so that it has sign moving action and shouts catchy slogans!"
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:27 am
Susanna looked at Orca. "Technology is the bane of mankind. If we allow it to progress, eventually our children will live in a generation where robots are the dominant race and humans have become the makers of their own destruction." She tossed the doll to Orca. "Knock yourself out, Darling." She then wandered upstairs, presumably to hang from Comet's bedroom ceiling until he noticed and got freaked out.
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:36 am
Orca shrugged and thrust the elf doll into the air. "With this, I shall extract my revenge on those brightly colored morons!" And just so Susanna wouldn't decide she wanted the doll back later he added in, a bit louder, "The censors of my freedom of expression!" He raced up to his room, slamming the door in his excitement. Now, how was he going to sneak all these things to the mall when they were finished...
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:39 am
Susanna looked down from the ceiling of Orca's room with interest. "You know, revenge only incites others to seek revenge, which leads to a neverending chain of violence, which inevitably leads to sorrow." she noted. "I don't want to be blamed for the resulting elf-related agonies of your folly."
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:45 am
Orca stumbled in midstep and let out a girly scream. "Warn me next time you're coming in here, will ya!" He shook his head to clear the shock. "Nah, it'll be fine, you'll see! I bet Santa's not even in charge at all! I bet the elves are holding HIM hostage! Therefore, I must free the jolly red man. Of course, I would expect my just rewards," he waved his hand dismissively, "but that's all in the fine print."
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Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:50 am
Susanna blinked. "If I had that scream on tape could I use it as blackmail?" she asked. Looking at Orca, she tilted her head. "So... The elves are making toys and giving Santa all the credit for no wages AND letting Santa live at the North Pole with free food and lodgings because they're holding him hostage." She said blankly. "For no apparent benefit on their behalf, because if he IS a hostage there's no one who knows him well enough to be willing to pay for his freedom. Wow. I wish I was a hostage."
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