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I like to write short science fiction stories in my spare time, but I decided to try and work for an actual novel. Here is the beginning of it. I'm obviously planning to add more. Please give me some feedback. I'm sure there are a few spelling and grammar mistakes, as I have not went over it recently.


A Galaxy of Lies

The shuttle “Moonlight” edged its way closer to the slowly rotating Revion Space-Station. It’s metallic hull gleamed off the reflected light from the station. As the shuttle drew dangerously close, a few beeping signals went off, but the lone figure aboard the “Moonlight” ignored the flashing warnings. They would mean nothing in a few minutes.
The dark silhouette flipped a few switches, causing the ship to move closer to the massive hulk of the station. Even as the shuttle drew closer to the space station, nobody could see the Soviet emblem emblazoned on the side.
Back inside the “Moonlight”, the figure began pulling a spacesuit out of a locker in the medical bay. He put the latex bodysuit on him and returned to the cockpit. After toggling a few more switches, everything was ready. Much to the surprise of the occupants of the space-station, he began to increase the ship’s speed. With the turning of a dial, he rotated the nose of the ship directly at Revion Station. He stood up and left the cockpit without a glance at the large bulk, rapidly approaching.
The unknown figure of the pilot made his way down the ship, finally reaching the last remaining escape pod. The bodies of the ships ex-crew littered the floor. He entered the pod, closing it’s doors behind him. Without hesitation he pushed the button marked “LAUNCH”.
As the pod ejected from the ship with a hiss, its only occupant could see Revion Station being ignited by the amount of explosives he smuggled onto the shuttle. He chuckled softly and thought that such work was far too easy. The massive fire of a space-station burned brightly in the darkness of space…

Federation Outpost 614 - Rewvin System

“Great. More greenies. I’m up to my neck in idiots already.” Commander Devion Sessel was not in a good mood today. Three technicians had almost destroyed the aft engine, costing five lives, and more importantly, three million credits. The commander sighed to himself. Why couldn’t those imbeciles at the recruitment office send over someone useful? Like some combat-hardened marines, or demolition soldiers? They were of course, the only working military space-station in the Rewvin System. Luckily, the Russians and Chinese still had a long way to go before they could begin to perfect their own space-vessels. Right now, only US and Japanese ships were built with a functioning hyperdrive. At least that was one thing the US was successful in. During these last few years, the United States were doing a poor job keeping a leash on China, Russia, and all the other nations that had yet to develop any working space vessel.
“We know sir, but the station has been running low on crew ever since that accident on the fourth floor.” Walter Rinsky was the 2nd Lieutenant aboard the station. Sessel was still thinking about trying to get him shuttled off the Outpost.. The commander hated being reminded of that incident. Some new recruit didn’t know how to defuse a bloated bag of beans, let alone a bomb which had been placed on the docking floor after a Japanese ship docked and then took off without authorization. The Lieutenant continued, his arms behind his back. “Sir....You must keep in mind that these recruits aren't completely new. In order for members of the Federation to be stationed here, they must have completed at least one hundred hours in both the combat and flight simulators. They may not be battle-hardened, but they're certainly not....green.” Rinsky coughed slightly, raising a hand to his mouth before looking at the Commander once more. “I'm sure they will be of at least some use here.”
Devion Sessel nibbled on the nail of his right thumb for a moment, considering what his Lieutenant had just said before sighing and running a hand through his hair. “Alright. Bring them into the briefing room....But this is the last time I'm letting recruits in here....” The Commander rose and walked out the door without waiting for a reply.

Hmm....I don't think you're serious. Anyway, thanks for the comment. I'll continue to wait for more.

Alright. Thanks. Anyone able to offer some tips?

Selzion,

Good work. It's people like you who make me proud to be a fantasist. You've got talent, which is plain for every eye to see, even through your inexperience.

You should get published, people eat up writing like this! mrgreen

Vale,
-LD

I agree. It IS good, and I want more...more...MOOOORE!!! domokun twisted

ninja Ahem...

I actually liked the "LAUNCH" button... It helps me visualize what's going on. For me, Demon's suggestion lacks description... *shrugs* either way is fine though ^_^ I'll live. I'm not sure about where you put your commas and periods though.

Without hesitation he pushed the button marked “LAUNCH”.
Back inside the “Moonlight”, the figure began pulling a spacesuit out of a locker in the medical bay.

I think you put the periods and commas inside the question marks, but I'm not sure since you're talking about names and buttons...It distracts me... Anybody else?

I like how you talk about the different nations, though I groaned about how you talked about the US. The US seems to be getting ragged on a lot in movies and fiction lately... but I think you can pull it off well. I can just see it o.o

The second half was pretty interesting, although, again, I groaned. I liked the mysterious man better. He fascinated me @_@ But talking about the problems and the new recruits was interesting.

Only big problem....PARAGRAPHS! gonk Need spaces between them, because they get all squished together!

^_^