Welcome to Gaia! ::

Reply Counseling Room - Share your experiences and give advice to help witness Christ in your life.
How Sheltered is Too Sheltered? Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Lithanus
Captain

PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2005 7:40 am


There is a degree of sheltering that should be enforced, but too much sheltering is not wise. You have to be clear what is right and what is wrong and set up rules and boundries that keep them from doing wrong. But at the same time you have to give your kids more privilages and responsibilities as the grow or you will never prepare them for life. As they grow able to do something, such as clean the dishes, the should be responsible with helping in that area. Also, if they are able to look both ways and safely cross the street, they should be privleged to automaticly be allowed to cross the street. This way, slowly, the child gets more privleges as well as more responsibilities just as you have as an adult, so the child ends up being more adult. I guess you can put it, if you treat them like an adult, they will act like an adult. Does that make sense?
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2005 2:14 pm


Wokring with children is always hard. some learn faster or easier than others. some are just disobedient and do not wish to learn making it harder to teach them. but any child can learn to be resposible if given enough attention and structure.

flineagle


Angel Serene

Devout Friend

PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2005 3:56 pm


flineagle
Wokring with children is always hard. some learn faster or easier than others. some are just disobedient and do not wish to learn making it harder to teach them. but any child can learn to be resposible if given enough attention and structure.
I agree. 3nodding
PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2005 9:58 am


Lithanus
There is a degree of sheltering that should be enforced, but too much sheltering is not wise. You have to be clear what is right and what is wrong and set up rules and boundries that keep them from doing wrong. But at the same time you have to give your kids more privilages and responsibilities as the grow or you will never prepare them for life. As they grow able to do something, such as clean the dishes, the should be responsible with helping in that area. Also, if they are able to look both ways and safely cross the street, they should be privleged to automaticly be allowed to cross the street. This way, slowly, the child gets more privleges as well as more responsibilities just as you have as an adult, so the child ends up being more adult. I guess you can put it, if you treat them like an adult, they will act like an adult. Does that make sense?


I do agree with this. Also, how can you know how much your child is capable of if you never give them the chance to show you? I mean.. you pour into them teaching and sheltering.. when is the pretest to see if they have received it? The Lord tests us.. and sometimes allows us to go through things to learn and mature. We need to do the same for our children so that they can mature and grow as well.

Graceangel

Benevolent Phantom

17,750 Points
  • Bunny Hoarder 150
  • Cool Cat 500
  • Person of Interest 200

Rivendelle

PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2005 7:52 pm


I think sheltered is when you don't know kind of naive, but if you know what's out there and don't go out and expierience it then most of the time that's good judgement on the part of your parents
PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2005 8:14 am


Graceangel
Lithanus
There is a degree of sheltering that should be enforced, but too much sheltering is not wise. You have to be clear what is right and what is wrong and set up rules and boundries that keep them from doing wrong. But at the same time you have to give your kids more privilages and responsibilities as the grow or you will never prepare them for life. As they grow able to do something, such as clean the dishes, the should be responsible with helping in that area. Also, if they are able to look both ways and safely cross the street, they should be privleged to automaticly be allowed to cross the street. This way, slowly, the child gets more privleges as well as more responsibilities just as you have as an adult, so the child ends up being more adult. I guess you can put it, if you treat them like an adult, they will act like an adult. Does that make sense?


I do agree with this. Also, how can you know how much your child is capable of if you never give them the chance to show you? I mean.. you pour into them teaching and sheltering.. when is the pretest to see if they have received it? The Lord tests us.. and sometimes allows us to go through things to learn and mature. We need to do the same for our children so that they can mature and grow as well.
Yeah - how can you know someone is trustworthy if you don't trust them to make the right decisions?

Empfindsam


Imber_San

PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:08 am


well growing up homeschooled is pretty sheltered, but i would have to wadger i ve been more sheltered than most of even my homeschool buddies. I mean i cant go to any of my friends homes before my parents meet their parnts, i cant even log on the internet without them putting in the password cuase they wont give it to me they time me when i drive home from school to make sure there's no detures and basically ruined everyfriendship i have!! I understand sheltering because youliove your kids but sometimes there's just too much!!!!!!!!!! eek
PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 8:52 am


Tori-dona
well growing up homeschooled is pretty sheltered, but i would have to wadger i ve been more sheltered than most of even my homeschool buddies. I mean i cant go to any of my friends homes before my parents meet their parnts, i cant even log on the internet without them putting in the password cuase they wont give it to me they time me when i drive home from school to make sure there's no detures and basically ruined everyfriendship i have!! I understand sheltering because youliove your kids but sometimes there's just too much!!!!!!!!!! eek


At least its good to know your parents love you, but sometimes its good to talk to them and let them know how you feel if you feel you are being overburdened. That way you can tell them how to make you happy too.

Lithanus
Captain


Imber_San

PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 5:35 pm


Lithanus
Tori-dona
well growing up homeschooled is pretty sheltered, but i would have to wadger i ve been more sheltered than most of even my homeschool buddies. I mean i cant go to any of my friends homes before my parents meet their parnts, i cant even log on the internet without them putting in the password cuase they wont give it to me they time me when i drive home from school to make sure there's no detures and basically ruined everyfriendship i have!! I understand sheltering because youliove your kids but sometimes there's just too much!!!!!!!!!! eek


At least its good to know your parents love you, but sometimes its good to talk to them and let them know how you feel if you feel you are being overburdened. That way you can tell them how to make you happy too.


believe me i tried but my dads a cops cop and that just complicates everything so much more, im just thankful they dont homeschool me theres only so much one can take!
PostPosted: Mon Jul 31, 2006 2:15 pm


Rivendelle
I think sheltered is when you don't know kind of naive, but if you know what's out there and don't go out and expierience it then most of the time that's good judgement on the part of your parents

I'm actualy quit against sheltering children. I was not alowed out at night (and i mean as soon the streetlights came on) even when i was 15!! and i lived in a suburb!! I moved out becuse i was so sick of it. I moved to a new town and lived with my father. he gave me a midnight curfiew in the space of a month i got drunk stoned and lost my virginity. so somewhere between iron fist and no rules would probably be helpful. on the other hand if kids want to experiment with sex drugs and alcohol i think they should be alowed to do so. it gives them a better appreciation of why they shouldn't do it.

Gaylord Mule 3


Love.Your.Hate.

PostPosted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 1:04 pm


my parents try to shelter me; private school, censoring my stuff, stuff like that. but it doesn't work. half the things i see or listen to are not censored. the people at private schools aren't any nicer than the kids at public schools. too sheltered is people at age 13 who don't know what masturbation is. like my friend.
PostPosted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 7:49 pm


I think you are lucky not to have expierienced this. High School is an environment that brings out the worst in almost everyone. This can also be very rewarding, learning to except other people and their differences. Once you hit high school people will expect you to swear and basically bow down to the popular kids. If your parents never exposed you to swearing, then you will probably turn out better than the kids who swear 24/7. Parents should expect thier kids to srew up, and some parents don't want that to happen. You should except thier ideas, for they know what is best for you.

kikomimo727


flineagle

PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 9:39 pm


why should a 13y/o know what masturbation is? I didn't know at that age and I was in public school, I guess its that obvious that I was sheltered and I am grateful for it.

I have revisited this topic because now I am going to be a mother and I have some hard choices ahead of me. there are many levels of sheltering and I am def going to shelter my child. I look at the way I was raised and consider the benefits and the defects. Raising my child will have to be a balance of protecting them while teaching and preparing them for the world. I won't be letting my daughter go to friends' houses if I dont know their parents(or that they even have parents)... but I wont let my child find out about sex through some school health ed class either. I plan to talk to my child about everything they need to talk about and when the time comes (that is when I feel they are responsible enough) they will get priviliges and my trust.

the change from my parents is that they never talked to me or made me feel I could trust them. also they didnt trust that they raised me well enough to know better and held onto me for a bit too long (course if they talked to me they would have known when it was safe to let go)

I agree that sheltered children tend to rebel. but that is because any child placed under rules rebels. I had this discussion with my friend who is also christian but has never rebelled. I say thats cuz her parents let her do anything she wanted... they never said, no you cant pierce yuor tongue or have a bf or anything(well they had some rules of course and shes rebelled against them, only they were smaller less noticeable things like sneaking out/in the house). but bcuz her parents never set rules on the major issues her faith is very lax and she does not see anything wrong with a lot of things ppl do, like homosexuality, abortion, drinking, tattoos or piercings.

well I wont raise my daughter to be a lukewarm christian. I want her to know the TRUTH because God does not ask for us to give a piece of ourselves or to just give ourselves on sunday. He desires all of us, fully and only for Him.

My daughter will have to make her own choices and her own mistakes. I think that almost everyone goes out to the world to get a taste of it at some point in their lives, some for all of their lives. but if I allow my daughter to grow up in the world she will grow confused anf be without a proper guide of the way things should be. a day may come when she will leave the church regardless(Ive had my days, almost everyone has) but the bible says to raise a child in the way they should go and when they get older they will not depart from it. I know that even while i was in rebellion I had the knowledge of what was wrong and right, I knew that where I belonged was in God's arms and that always brought me back to Him. I plan to teach my daughter how to trust in God and that she can trust me too. and especially that if she ever strays too far home, God and I will be waiting for her to come back.
PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 9:28 am


I think you are preparing yourself very well. A balance is often better then any extreme. Raising children is a very difficult but important task, the way you bring them up will ultimately affect what kind of person they will become.

Lithanus
Captain

Reply
Counseling Room - Share your experiences and give advice to help witness Christ in your life.

Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum