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 Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 12:49 pm
I say men because
1. We keep our last name.
2. The garage is all ours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. We can be president.
6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8. The world is our urinal.
9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
10. Same work, more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
16. One mood, ALL the time.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18. We know stuff about tanks.
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. We can open all our own jars.
21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
27. We almost never have strap problems in public
28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. We don't have to shave below our neck.
31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.
34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
your opinions my highly esteemed facist brothers
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:54 pm
that.....is..................so very true......lol...i never payed attention to minor details as such before
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Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:55 pm
Of course it's men. You guys have conditioned society for years, using opinions, or lack there of, to put women at such a stressful status. All the things, such as makeup, wrinnkles, hair, shoes, planning, and all of that, are to keep you guys either staying around, or from commenting rudely.
Don't forget one other thing; It's easy to keep a man happy in other ways. No huge techniques for you to O.
Bah... *goes to get chocolate*
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Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 10:54 am
And you forget something.
36. We have no problem eating something past its expiration date, or eating Ramen for weeks in a row.
37. Showers can take five minutes or less.
38. Problems with other men can be solved with either liqour, fists, or a combination of the two.
39. Problems with friends are almost unheard of.
40. A pair of jeans can last us at least four days. But the rule is after that you must change.
41. We don't have anything wedged in our asscrack, and if we do, we procede to pull it out.
42. We (and I can't believe you forgot this one) don't bleed from our happy place.
43. Our friends don't talk about us behind our backs, and if they do, see number 38.
44. WE HAVE NO EMOTIONS!
45. The movies we enjoy watching don't require too much thought to get the story, and include people dying from guns and explosions, as opposed to cancer, some other dramatic disease, or a car accident. There are no accidents in our movies.
46. Our friends don't care how we look, and don't comment on our clothes unless we're wearing something funny, like a cheesehat or something.
47. We can sleep anywhere and everywhere.
48. If we see a bug, we kill it.
49. With enough booze, we'll ******** anything without a p***s.
I'd think of more, but I have to go. Friend's birthday. Probably going to be drunk at some point today. Woot =3 Which brings up another one.
49. A friend's birthday doesn't need a cake. It needs hard liqour.
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Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 11:26 am
oooooooooooo...please...no talk of liquor........i am so hung over
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Posted: Sat Apr 08, 2006 1:08 pm
Ack. Hangovers x_x
Yeah, talk of liqour makes my face hurt >.<
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