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 Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2021 9:22 am
{ f a r e w e l l }
It was a foolish thing to have done, and he could see that now. A kid was a liability, an obligation, and he didn't have time for that or the capacity to really care. He'd gotten so close to pulling Deskri back in again, though, and this would've been the hook he needed to finally reel the slippery little s**t love of his life back in.
But he didn't actually succeed in drawing Des back in, and now Niccol had a toddler on his hands that he didn't actually want. Or have the capacity to take care of.
Lucky enough for him, the Sanctuary took any and all Metas in that weren't on the wrong side of the law. He may not be able to thrust this child of theirs onto Deskri, but he could pass him off to them at least. Hell, they might have better luck getting him to take responsibility introduced to their son, Deimos.
And then maybe he might get what he actually wanted in the first place.
---
"Take this and give it to whoever is at the front desk. They'll know what to do." He was kneeling in front of Deimos, hands on his small shoulders, voice laced with Muse influence. Deimos nodded once.
"Tell me what I just told you to do." Niccol commanded.
"Take this... an' give it to whoever's at the... front desk?" Dei repeated back, stumbling a little over the words and their exact order.
"Good, that's right." Niccol patted his head, "don't talk to them about me. Your father is Deskri, if they ask." He stood as he instructed, still using his ability to influence to convey these instructions.
Deimos nodded again.
"Go on then." Niccol leaned over just enough to physically turn Dei around to face the gates, then gave him a little shove to start him off.
Unsteady at first, the toddler made his way inside and up toward the main building...
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Posted: Sat Feb 20, 2021 6:11 pm
{ p a p a }
 [on the first page of the diary, deimos has scribbled some stars, a flower, a self portrait, and a drawing of "papa". his handwriting is very wobbly.]
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Posted: Wed Feb 24, 2021 1:42 pm
{ m e m o r i e s }
The first thing Deimos could remember was the sky overhead. It was a clear, moonless night, and the stars overhead illuminated the sky in unspeakable beauty.
The next thing he could remember was Papa - alone, but with two boxes sitting in front of him. One of them called to Dei, in a way he would probably never be able to articulate.
The third thing he could remember was placing his hands on one of the boxes, and then being enveloped in a bright flash of light - followed by a sense of wholeness. He turned his eyes up toward the sky and knew, somehow, what all of those lights were... and some part of him deep within knew he wanted to be up there, with them.
---
The first real memory of Papa that Deimos had was of the Muse chastising him for wandering off.
"You have to stay with me at all times if you're going to leave the house, Deimos. Do I make myself clear?" Niccol scolded.
Deimos nodded along, but he wasn't really paying attention. He couldn't really remember it, but he knew this was not the first time he'd been reprimanded for wandering away. He always knew how to get home though, so he didn't really understand why it was such a big deal.
---
Deimos spent his first birthday alone in the motel room he and Papa were staying in. He only knew it was his birthday because one of Papa's friends had told him it was coming a few days before, and asked what he wanted for it. Deimos had asked for some glow-in-the-dark stars. He didn't get them.
He was alone in the motel room because Papa had left to 'work' or 'check on someone', and had left Dei with an ample supply of snacks and toys to occupy himself with. He had noticed that Papa used a special card to get into the room, and knew that he did not have one of his own... otherwise he would be tempted to leave anyway. The room was boring.
Papa did not return until long after the sun had set, and when he did he went straight to bed without a word.
It was around then that Deimos began to suspect that Papa did not really love him the way he sometimes said he did.
---
Papa did not care to teach Deimos much of anything other than how to listen and do as he was told. It was someone else, one of Papa's friends, that taught him his ABC's and 123's. Papa's friend would bring him little books and they'd read together while Papa was out - doing what, Deimos did not know, but he didn't really care. He did not particularly like Papa. He didn't really know why he even called him Papa - had he requested it? Papa always got mad when Dei called him "Niccol" like everyone else though, so he stuck with the nickname.
Papa's friend - Dei couldn't remember his name now - often praised him for how smart he was. Dei liked him more than he liked Papa... and sometimes he wished he lived with him instead.
---
Sometimes, Papa would take an actual interest in Deimos. They would go into town together and Papa would take him to toy stores and clothing stores. They'd eat ice cream, or play at the park, and Deimos would forget for a little while that Papa usually didn't pay him much mind. He wished they did things like that more often - he knew other kids' parents did things with them all the time... but Papa always said he was too busy, or doing things too important to play at the moment.
As he grew a little older, Deimos began to notice that when they did these things, it felt a little bit like Papa was just showing him off. Or dressing him up like Dei might dress up one of the dolls Papa had bought him. He just didn't know for who, or what, Papa was putting the show on.
---
It was Deimos' second birthday when he first asked about his other parent. He knew that other kids had two of them, or sometimes even three. But he did not know anything about anyone but Papa.
Papa had stared at him with an expression Deimos did not understand, but the feel of it made his skin crawl with fear. Papa did not answer, and Deimos did not ask again.
---
He was two and a half, and they were staying in one of Papa's friend's house. Well, many friends lived in this 'house'. It was more like an abandoned building that had been repurposed as a living space, but aside from the occasional motel, places like this were all Deimos really knew as homes. He had figured out that only really lucky Metas got to live in the same houses as non-Metas.
He was playing with some of his toys when Papa and his friends returned to the 'house.' Papa was leaning on one of them, and babbling about stuff Deimos did not really understand. They all seemed to be acting a little funny, honestly. He watched as the group stumbled their way to the dining area table and clumsily sat down in the chairs surrounding it. One or two of them seemed to be more normal than the others. They all smelled funny, though.
Someone brought up thinking about 'making an egg' with their partner. Papa piped up about how much of a hassle it all was - finding the candles, getting to the 'damn altar'... Deimos was going to tune it all out until Papa began to complain about how he'd picked out two items thinking there would 'be twins' and that Deimos had 'picked the wrong one'.
That caught his attention. He stared directly at the group as Papa continued to complain - his friends nodding along or prodding for more information.
"Niccol, you made yours without Deskri though, right?" One of them asked,
Papa laughed, "we were going to anyway! He was supposed to come back."
"Wait, so he ditched you with the kid?"
"Of course he did. You think I'd do this to myself if I knew I wasn't going to have someone to take care of it? It's a pain in the a**."
Deimos frowned. It?
"It's just to cement the relationship - soon as I find him again he'll have no choice but to take responsibility."
One of Papa's friends glanced Deimos' way and suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "Hey, Niccol... he's here, you know?" The angel nudged Papa with an elbow.
Papa brushed her off, "it's fine, babies don't remember jack s**t, too stupid."
The angel did not seem to believe that - she looked back to Deimos with pity in her eyes. Dei did not like that look, and he did not like Papa calling him stupid.
"I'll put him to bed." She volunteered, then stood and made her way over toward him. Papa grumbled something about 'a nuisance' and 'ruining the fun' but otherwise did not acknowledge or get up from his seat.
Before, Deimos had just suspected that Papa did not love him, but now he knew for certain. Was it because he'd picked the wrong item, or because his other father had abandoned them...? Deimos did not - and could not - understand.
He did not sleep that night, even after Papa's friend tucked him in to the little cot he'd been set up with.
---
"What was my other Papa like?"
Deimos was being watched by Papa's friend Angeline when he asked. Papa had forgotten about the incident at the table, but Deimos had not. Angeline apparently hadn't either. She stiffened at the question, wings shifting slightly. Deimos could tell she was thinking about something.
"He was... troubled." She answered, finally.
"What's that mean?" Dei asked.
"I don't think your Papa really wants me to talk about it, honey. It would be better if you talked to him about it." Angeline ran a hand through Dei's hair in an attempt to smooth out the messy curls.
Deimos frowned. "Papa won't tell me." He rebutted.
"Oh.. Well-..." She frowned, still trying to fix his hair.
"Did he not want me?" Deimos needed to know. He'd sometimes imagined finding his other parent and going to live with them - being happy, and loved, and cared for... but if that was never going to happen, he wanted to know so he could stop.
"I don't know, honey. Des didn't really talk to me about his thoughts on starting a family." She sighed, relenting, "you know how it's dangerous for people like us, yes? There's a very high probability that your other father isn't around anymore..." She was skirting around the word she really meant, Dei could tell - Papa might think he was stupid, but he wasn't.
If he really was dead then there wasn't any point in imagining that Dei might be rescued by him someday.
"Why do you want to know about him anyway? Your Papa loves you enough for both of them, doesn't he?" She patted his cheek, as if that were supposed to be reassuring.
Deimos stared up at her flatly, an expression that looked off on someone so young. "M'not stupid, I know Papa don't love me." He pushed her hand away with one of his own. Angeline seemed stunned into silence for a few moments - which she was. How was she supposed to respond to that..? Deimos did not wait for her to figure it out. "Papa don't tell me anythin' ever 'n I wanna know."
Angeline placed her hands in her lap, letting out a long sigh. "You are very smart, Dei. Niccol loves you, he's just... not very good at showing it." She seemed to really believe that... "There are some things you're still too little to understand right now, okay? When you're a little older I'm sure he'll talk to you about Deskri." She smiled at him in a way that seemed almost sympathetic. Dei did not like it.
"How much older?" He wanted a solid answer. Something to hold onto.
"Well... that's hard to say." Angeline paused, "the time will come though, I'm sure of it. Come on, lets get you some lunch." She stood, and held a hand out for him to take.
He wasn't going to get one - she was going to be just another adult that withheld information when asked for it.
---
It was the night before Deimos' third birthday, and Papa was drunk again. Deimos did not want to be near him. He hated when Papa was drunk - he always complained about everything, and never remembered it later. Dei did, though. They were staying in a motel on the outskirts of town - the room was small and cramped and there wasn't really anywhere Dei could go to get away from Niccol inside it. So he waited until Niccol went to the bathroom, then took the key card from his wallet and let himself out.
The night air was cool, and Deimos immediately felt better standing outside. He looked up, to the stars overhead. Hard to see from the light pollution but still, the brightest ones shone through it all. Dei wished he could be up there with them - maybe they'd be more like family than the one he supposedly had now. He stayed outside for a few hours, watching the night sky. He wanted to go somewhere to see it better, but knew that if he did and Papa actually realized it he'd get in a lot of trouble. It was only when he started to feel like nodding off to sleep that he let himself back into the room.
Papa was dead asleep, snoring on the bed. Deimos stared at him for a few moments - when he was sleeping he almost looked nice. Almost. Dei crawled onto the small couch provided in the room, then pulled his blanket over him and tried to sleep...
---
He knew better than to expect anything for his birthday, but Dei couldn't help but feel a little disappointed when nothing special happened again. Papa was hungover and spent most of the morning in bed, groaning. Dei did not like him, but dutifully got him water and snacks when requested.
"Thanks, Des..." Papa mumbled as he took the latest cup of water from Dei's hands. Deimos froze, staring at Papa with wide eyes. Why did he say that?
"Papa...?" He asked quietly, with some hesitation.
Papa regarded him with a long stare through squinting eyes, then sighed. "Oh... Deimos." He seemed to register that he'd said the wrong name. "You have his hair..." He trailed off, seeming to lose focus on reality for a few moments.
Deimos blinked. He assumed as much, Papa's hair was a pastel minty-teal. "Is he dead..?" Dei had to ask.
Papa frowned. "No he's not dead, who told you that?" He sounded almost offended- only the headache that was pounding through his head prevented him from raising his voice.
Deimos shook his head, "no one... Jus' thought so..." He lied, Angeline was nice even if she was frustrating sometimes. He didn't want her to get into trouble.
"I saw him... two weeks ago." Papa set the cup aside and began to push himself into an upright position. Deimos sensed that a story was about to start - he hoped it would give him more answers into who Desrki was, and why he wasn't with them. Papa patted the free space on the bed, expecting him to join him on top of it. Deimos crawled onto the bed and sat with his legs crossed, hands in his lap, all attention focused on his father.
"It was from a distance. I tried to get his attention but he looked... busy." Papa sighed, almost remorsefully. "You've never met him, but you remind me so much of him... You've got that same stare of his that he does when he's unimpressed... same laugh..." Papa reached out to place a hand on his head, running his fingers through the messy curls. Papa's curls... but Deskri's color.
"How come he left..?" Dei had to know - had to hear it from Papa directly.
"I don't know. We made plans to have you, and when I went to perform the ritual he never showed... and when I came back, all of his things were gone." Papa looked so.. sad, in a way Dei had never seen on him before. "I know it hasn't been easy for either of us... I wasn't, am not, prepared to take care of you by myself." Papa shifted in place - a look of regret clouding his eyes. Deimos did not know what he meant by that.
"I think I know where he's going, though... Tomorrow, we'll go there. I'm sure he'll change his mind once he sees you." Papa nodded, clearing his throat, "he always did the right thing when it came to others."
"I wanna know more... 'bout him." Dei leaned forward a little, hoping this talkative mood of Papa's was going to last. His other father was alive, and close-ish by. Dei's hopes soared - maybe he'd be able to go live with him instead of Papa. For whatever reason, he did not think they would be together again. Some part of him wondered how anyone could ever want to be with Papa.
"Like what?" Papa picked up the cup to sip at the water - it looked like he was going to humor Dei's request...
"What's he like...? How'd you meet?? Does he like stars too...?" He had so many questions- but cut himself off at three. It was better not to push his luck all at once. He wanted to know - no, needed to know - if Deskri was anything like the imaginary father he'd pretended would come take him away to a better place so long ago. Papa chuckled a little into the cup, then winced at the pain it caused.
"Grouchy. Paranoid. A bit of a coward... but a survivor nonetheless." Papa shrugged - and Dei felt his expectations crumble. That was how he was going to describe Deskri? "I met him about.. oh... fifteen or so years ago, found him lurking in some shadows outside my house. He likes dark places. I don't actually remember if he likes stars though..." Papa trailed off, trying to remember, "he's hard to get to know but it was worth it... the level of devotion he can give when he wants to is..." Papa stopped to do a little chef's kiss motion. "And his abilities? So useful. We didn't have to walk all over the place - he could just take us there through his shadows."
Deimos had always been a highly intelligent child, even if he lacked proper schooling, and it was at this point that Deimos realized that Papa seemed to miss what his other father could do for him rather than actually miss the person himself.
"...Oh." The disappointment he felt showed in his tone, but Papa didn't seem to notice.
"We could be whatever we wanted to be, too, pass for humans... pretend to be something else... Des can change what you see. That's why I've been having such a hard time finding him, I think. He keeps changing what he looks like." Papa frowned, tone changing to something less reminiscent and more annoyed. "Can't believe he walked out on me.. after all I did for him. Gave him a place to stay, kept him safe and fed, and loved..? Treasured, even." Papa's annoyance was quickly sliding into anger. Deimos was unsure if he should move away, or stay where he was in case movement would make him even more angry.
"You were going to be a surprise. There's normally at least two in an egg so I picked out two things to bring." Papa turned to look right at him. "I had hoped you would pick the other box but what's done is done."
Dei was confused. Hadn't Papa just said that he and his other father had talked about having kids..? Made plans to do it...? "A surprise...?" The question came out before he could stop it.
"Yes..! A surprise. We talked about it but he always waffled on it like he did with everything. Never a straight answer with him toward the end... I thought perhaps he'd wise up and see how serious I am if he saw you." Papa rolled his eyes and set the cup aside. "Disappeared before I could get back. Typical."
Deimos was stunned. Papa must still really be out of it - this line of events was entirely different from anything he'd ever heard before. Maybe... maybe his other father was like Dei was now - trapped. Nowhere else to go but stay with Papa, and Papa's friends. Maybe his other father had needed rescuing, too.
"Don't you fret though... I'll get him back soon. I'm sure of it." Papa patted his head a little roughly, "now... go outside and play. I need a nap." He motioned to the door. Dei did not linger. He slid off of the bed and then let himself outside. He still had the key card, it would be fine.
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2021 6:13 pm
{ w a n d e r e r }
Deimos was three and a half and tired of staying inside all the time. Papa would come and go and come and go and he was left just... sitting. Wherever Papa had decided they were going to stay for a while. Sometimes they moved places after a day or two, but other times it was weeks or months before they went anywhere.
Deimos was three and a half and he was done staying inside. The latest hideout Papa had picked was obviously someone else's old house. The "do not enter" signs didn't deter him from entering, and the charred rooms where a fire had damaged the building only made him restrict Dei to just two rooms. A bedroom, and a bathroom. Except the bathroom didn't really work anyway, they had to bring their own water.
It was dark outside, and Papa still wasn't done with whatever it was he did all day. He never told Dei, even when asked. This time, he wasn't going to wait for Papa to come 'home'. The door didn't even lock, it wasn't like there was anything keeping him inside. Still, he strained on his tip-toes to each the knob, but managed to twist it enough to open the door.
Outside, the cool night air felt refreshing - and it didn't stink of charred house. He made his way down the steps carefully, even though there wasn't anyone around. Papa and his friends had always told him that it was dangerous to be alone when he was so small and didn't even have any powers to protect him... at least as far as they knew. Thus far, none of his abilities had really cropped up, except for the one he couldn't describe and had never really tested before.
Tonight would be different, though. He turned his gaze toward the night sky, marveling at the stars overhead. He knew exactly where he was, somehow, and knew that he would have no trouble finding this exact spot again later, too.
He wandered down the sidewalk, mostly just looking at all of the new things he hadn't been able to see up close. Someone's yard had a tricycle in it. Dei longed to try it - but he knew Papa would be extremely angry if he did...
But Papa wasn't there, was he?
And Papa didn't really care, did he?
Deimos shuffled over to it, gingerly reaching out to touch the seat, then the handles... He looked at the house it belonged to- all of the windows were dark. Whoever lived there was more than likely asleep, too.
Carefully, he settled himself onto the tricycle, then put his feet on the pedals... but didn't move immediately. It just felt... nice to sit on it, really. He wished he could have one of his own, but he knew it'd be gone within a few days - or weeks, if he was lucky. Even when Papa did take him to buy new toys, he always returned or sold them later when they moved homes.
Unless they were very small, anyway.
He sat like that for a while, just holding onto the handles and looking around the neighborhood. Overhead the sky was clear, and the moon was half-full. Part of him thought about just running away altogether, but he'd heard some stories about what happened to Meta kids that didn't have any parents. Some of Papa's friends whispered together about it when they thought he couldn't hear. Taken by some bad people, probably dead if they were lucky...but most likely not. Deimos didn't know what could be worse than being dead, but he didn't really want to find out either.
So he didn't run off... but he did think about what it would be like if he did and found his other father... Papa had said he was a surprise, so maybe his other father wouldn't not want him. He just didn't know he existed, that was all.
The moon was starting to set- and Dei had grown cold. He finally got off of the tricycle and began to walk back toward the charred house they were staying at. Even though the sky overhead had changed in the hours he'd spent walking and sitting, he knew where he was going... it was like an invisible guide told him exactly where to turn.
If only it had also told him that Papa had returned an hour earlier than him, and was positively enraged to find him missing.
Deimos opened the door to the house to find that the half-burned kitchen they had to pass through to get in-or-out was a mess. Things toppled over, with signs of panic strewn about. He glanced into the next room over - the crumbling appearance of the room just looked even more destroyed. He bit his lip as nervousness started to rise within him...
Papa rounded the corner of the hall, having obviously just been searching a different room, and spotted him. "DEIMOS!" He shouted as he stomped down the hallway. Dei barely resisted the urge to slam the door and run.
"WHERE have you been!?" Papa dropped to one knee, reaching out with both hands to grasp tightly onto Dei's upper arms. His expression was wild - though Dei couldn't tell if he was worried or just mad.
"Outside..." He mumbled in response, too scared to get anything else out.
"I TOLD you not to go anywhere without me!! You could have been kidnapped! Killed!" Papa shook him a few times as he spoke - it still wasn't clear if he was angry or worried, but finally he let go and stood up suddenly. "Get to the bedroom. If you ever do anything like this again you will regret it. Have I made myself clear?" Anger won out in the end, it seemed. Papa thrust a finger toward the room he was supposed to stay in. Deimos nodded once, then scrambled past him and into the bedroom.
He promptly found the closet, and then closed himself inside to cry.
He hated Papa.
---
He was four years old, and it was another birthday that Papa did not acknowledge. He was drunk again, but this time he wasn't feeling talkative - in fact he wasn't doing much else but sleeping at the moment. The "house" they were staying in was really just an abandoned building - it had probably been some kind of store, but what kind Dei had no idea. Nor did he care to know. Papa had been choosing less and less home-like places to stay, and was getting more and more short-tempered with him.
Deimos did not like when Papa got angry.
He was never physical, but he yelled and threw things sometimes. That was more than enough for Dei. Most of the time when Papa came "home" angry, he just found somewhere small and dark to hide until he calmed down. It was much easier that way.
He stared at his sleeping father's figure - sprawled out on the makeshift bed, limbs all over the place - and felt nothing but dislike.
He truly, truly doubted that if Papa ever found his other father that said father would ever want to come live with them. Who would? Even Papa's friends didn't linger for very long lately. Many of them looked at him with pity in their eyes - though none so much as offered to take him with them. Deimos knew that he was alone, ultimately, to deal with this by himself.
The knowledge filled him with a deep sense of wrong, though he didn't know what to do about it.
In the now, all he could do was go outside. He hadn't stopped after that first night - he'd just gotten smarter about it. Went out for shorter periods of time, or didn't go quite so far away.
Tonight, he wandered. He didn't care if Papa woke up and found him missing - he wanted to see the sky again, his one true comfort. The night sky was the one thing that could always put him at ease - just looking at the stars soothed his soul.
After a little bit of walking, he found a nice spot to sit down and stare upward. Maybe someday, when he got bigger, he'd go up there... and get away from all the bad things around him. No more Papa. No more dangerous people he never actually met... It would be nice.
The sky was starting to grow brighter when he finally got up and wandered back "home." Papa was still dead asleep. Dei was tired, and hungry, but didn't wake him up.
---
It was a few months later that Papa actually found out he'd been sneaking out again. But this time, instead of cower in fear, Deimos stood his ground as his parent screeched about him getting lost.
"You can't just go off by yourself! We've been over this before, what are you not understanding!?" Papa hissed, looming, demanding answers, trying to be intimidating.
Deimos was done.
"I never get lost. You go away all day 'n I'm tired! I'm bored!! You leave me all alone all the time!" He stamped his feet in frustration, voice rising with each word. "You wouldn't care if I got taken!" He jabbed an accusing finger at his father, mouth set in a stubborn frown.
"Of COURSE I would care if you were taken! You're going to be what brings him back! Don't you see that? Do you not want us to be a family?? I do so much for you, Deimos. Where do you think the food you eat comes from? The clothes you wear? Your toys?? I get all of that for you." Papa retorted.
But Deimos wasn't listening anymore. He'd heard what he needed to hear. He only existed so Papa could try to bring his other father back to him. That was it.
He was going to run away, and there was nothing Papa could do about it.
---
He was nearly five, and he had in fact tried to run away. Several times, actually.
But somehow, some way, Papa always found him before he got very far, and always brought him back kicking and screaming to wherever they were staying at the time. Deimos refused to talk to him, even when he yelled...
Except sometimes Papa would say things in a way that made him do whatever Papa wanted him to do. He didn't understand - and sometimes he didn't really remember, like it was a dream he was forgetting - but it was definitely happening... and it was extremely frustrating.
They were staying with some friends, who had an actual house, at the moment. Deimos had to stay in sight at all times, according to Papa, so he was busying himself with drawing in a notebook and trying not to listen to anything his father was saying... but of course, he couldn't really tune him out. Not entirely.
"I don't know what to do with him anymore. He keeps trying to run off, and it's not like I can keep him with me at all times." Papa complained to his friend Hesper.
Hesper placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. "It's hard to raise a kid by yourself, Niccol. Just give it some time, he's probably just in a phase." He replied.
"The phase is going to get us both in trouble. I haven't been able to work." Papa groaned, rubbing at his face with one hand, "or sleep. He hardly sleeps, too. Up all night and day. I don't get it."
Hesper hummed soothingly, glancing at Deimos with a mixture of pity and... perhaps dislike.
Dei turned his eyes back down at the notepad. He didn't care what Hesper thought of him.
"You know... the Sanctuary is always an option?" Hesper suggested slowly.
"What?" Papa sounded confused at first, then made a sound of recognition. "Des would kill me if he found out..."
"Niccol, Deskri left you high and dry with a kid you aren't equipped to take care of. It would be better for you both to take him there. Deskri might not even be alive anymore, you know how he was." Hesper shook his head as he spoke.
"He's alive, I know that." Papa retorted, "but... you're right." He let out a long sigh, staring over at Dei who was listening but pointedly not looking at either of them.
"It's not far from here, you know the way?" Hesper asked.
"Yes, I know. I'll... get his things together and... we can go tomorrow." Papa nodded slowly...
Deimos did not know what "the Sanctuary" was, but if it meant he wouldn't have to stay with Papa anymore he'd gladly go.
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Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2021 6:43 pm
{ n e w h o m e }
 on the second page of the diary, deimos has crudely drawn three figures. the first is labeled "merabel" (Mirabelle), the second is labeled "nova", and the third has no label but is a drawing of himself. a happy face with an arrow pointing to the picture of himself is positioned overhead. Mirabelle is pictured holding a juice box, and Nova is holding a cellphone. a few shaky stars have been drawn on the page. at the top, the word "papa" has been written but then crossed out several times. the page is dented in where the crayon used to write was pressed down especially hard.]
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Posted: Fri Mar 05, 2021 7:25 pm
{ r e a d i n g }
[  on the third page of the diary, Deimos has written in shaky wording "lerning to reed is hard" with a little angry face next to it.]
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