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Beth flinched, a bit confused when the words lacked follow up. She wanted to protest that she hadn't meant to make him feel inadequate--but hadn't she just preened over the pride of giving better presents when she was with Sylvia? Who was really counting, when it came down to it? Shaken by the realization, the blood drained from her face and she muttered, "I just didn't want to give you the prayer beads by themselves. Something you could use seemed more practical. Who doesn't need money? And if I can afford to give more, why shouldn't I?" She couldn't keep the resentment from her voice.

But she swallowed and held out her hand to take the card from him. Without looking, she dropped it into one of the bags next to her feet, heedless of who might be getting another surprise. She drooped over the presents he had given her, unwilling to look him in the face. After a silence that stretched longer than was polite, she said, "I guess I understand." Her expression said that she did not.

Beth could never resist when someone apologized to her, no matter how insincere or heartfelt the words. She sighed, cocking her head to the side to look at Brian, "It's okay, I guess. I should probably think about these things first. But I think that you deserve the best! And maybe one day you'll," she tried to track where the end of that sentence could go and decided nowhere good. "Anyway. I figured with the bracelet you could stuff it in a pocket or loop it around a bag strap or, you know. Less noticeable than a necklace." Though, she guessed he might be used to wearing dogtags already and the charms on a wrist might be more of a catching hazard. But it was too late! She had chosen the bracelet. And at least that seemed to be well received.

Or maybe he was just saying that. Pushing the thought away, she gave him a dim version of her normal smile and said, "Well, I guess it's my turn?" She turned her attention to the box in her lap and started carefully peeling the paper from the gift beneath.

Beth had been only halfway through opening her present when Brian leaned in and kissed her cheek. She stiffened, face flushing far too quickly and too much to be attractive. When he pulled away, her eyes were wide with either fear and hope. But at least her gaze met his, a searching look that evidently didn't turn up anything to comment on, as she merely pressed her lips together and turned her face back down to her work.

Ah. And at least part of Brian's hesitance to accept her gift was revealed. After a too long moment of staring at the total of the gift card, Beth murmured to him, voice uncharacteristically jagged, "I wouldn't have judged you for this. You give what you can." Was she going to cry? She didn't want to look at him if she was. "I have many more days of relaxing baths in my future than I did a moment ago, thanks to you." Especially true when she revealed the bath bombs. At the faint smell of lavender that wafted up from the box, Beth took in a deep breath. Voice steadying, she said, "Thank you for thinking of me." She reached out to squeeze his hand, too shy and too afraid to give him a hug.

Beth felt Brian's hands wrap around her own and she let out a shaky breath, tentatively raising her eyes to look into his. She was tilting her head towards him, she knew, dangerously sending out signals she dare not define in her brain. Her own reading of his mood was ambiguous at best and though her eyes momentarily slipped to his mouth, there was too much tension still between them to risk anything. Besides, it wasn't his fault she was hopeful and oh so naively fragile. It wasn't his fault she was so desperate for a shred of kindness that his friendly gestures read as more. It was like saying "If this was a movie, this would be the moment, right?"

And she had no desire to follow that flickering hope.

So she just forced a smile which was hopefully less like a grimace than it felt, forcing her eyes back up. She gave a little shrug, as if his question was feather light. "People have no obligation to include me, leastwise here. So I appreciate it when my friends do." There was a history that swirled under the words, one she did not elaborate on, but was easy enough to guess. "It's Christmas; generosity in general is the spirit of the season, but should never be assumed. If that makes any amount of sense." She laughed at her own assertion and gently bumped her shoulder against his as if inviting him to laugh at her too. "Sorry, that was weird to say. I guess what I meant is just...thank you."

Gods, she wondered if she was even human rather than a pile of ragged nerves and assorted neuroses some days.

Beth's smile widened at his words. Was it true? Was it a well-meaning lie? In that moment she had no energy or desire to overthink the assertion that she was loved, that she mattered, that she belonged with them. She had no idea how else to respond, not when the tension seemed to finally be leaking out of the pair of them, not when his hand on hers drew the anxiety from her skin with every idle touch, not when she had several other presents to deliver before the end of the day.

She could not afford to max out her sociability so soon.

So after another few moments of staring at his face, Beth said, "Well, I'm happy to be here, being loved." She giggled to make her words light and fluffy. "But these presents aren't going to deliver themselves!" She gently tugged one hand free to pack up the gift card and bath bombs, other hand remaining tightly wrapped in his. Now was not the time to make him feel that his honesty and generosity were unappreciated.

Beth had managed to gather everything up, placing Brian's gifts in the bag holding the shawl Sylvia had given to her. Finally pulling her hand from his, she stood, once more laden with her precious parcels. "I'm not sure, but I think I'll manage. Thank you, though!" She beamed at him, then leaned over to give him her own kiss on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Brian. Sorry for the misunderstanding earlier." That wasn't quite what their awkward disagreement had been, but, she wasn't sure she could describe it otherwise. "Did you have any plans for the holidays?"