[Solo RP] When will the darkness get me (Rainbow/Roxxanna)

[Fatal Irony]

He laughed and kicked a little more snow at her. "You don't need to be so uptight. It's not like you're pregnant right now. You have plenty of time to figure things out!" He smiled, settling down and ending his snow-kicking. "I was never ready for kids. You never are, from what I'm told. We have a large family dating back many generations, and all of them have told me the same thing about becoming a parent. You aren't ever ready. But when they come you find things within yourself you never knew you had, strength where you thought there was none. Wisdom you never knew you had. It's hard and you'll make mistakes, but your kids won't notice." He grinned knowingly at her. She certainly never had noticed any of his mistakes.
 

[Fatal Irony]

She dug her hoof into the ground beneath the snow, staring down thoughtfully. While their talk had helped somewhat, she still had this nagging worry that her kids would end up afflicted as her mother had been. Hadn't she and her brother come out physically strange? Perhaps the illness manifested differently in each generation. What would happen to her own kids? She looked back up at her father, but didn't voice her concerns. He was so hopeful and positive, and she didn't want to weigh him down with her thoughts. She would carry it within her silently. She managed a smile. "You never made any mistakes. You worked so hard to heal mother and keep us happy. There were no mistakes." Her voice was soft as she spoke of her mother. Where had she gone?
 

[Fatal Irony]

He could see that his usual antics wouldn't work to cheer her up. It worked on her as a foal, but obviously he would need to try harder as an adult. He didn't know what her thoughts were, if she was just anxious about becoming a mother or if it was something else. She clearly didn't want to share it with him, whatever it was. It stung a little, but he let it go. His heart fell further at mention of Zyanya. He couldn't think about her. He pushed thoughts of her away. " I appreciate that you didn't notice any of the mistakes, but I assure you they were there. Times when you were neglected because I was exhausted, times when you got hurt because I wasn't paying attention. Oh there were plenty of those moments. I was afraid for you your entire foalhood."
 

[Fatal Irony]

A wistful smile crossed her face. "We were never neglected. Honestly, those times you were too tired to play Frost and I would wander off and get into trouble. Probably not the best idea, but we had a lot of fun. And when you had energy you played with us all the time. We wanted for nothing, I promise." She kicked a little snow at him with a smile. "We had a happy life." Had. When had things changed? "I have a happy life now, too. Eh and I have a nice setup where we live. The kids, when we choose to have them, will be happy there as well. You'd be welcome to visit, of course," she added. "As often as you like."
 

[Fatal Irony]

Warmth spread across his chest as she affirmed that she and her brother had been happy. It was a great comfort to him to know that they at least had a good foalhood. He hoped one day to create a new family as well. His attention snapped back to the present as she brought up the possibility of her own children. He grinned toothily at her as she welcomed him to visit. "It's cute that you think you have a say in whether I visit or not," he chuckled. Nothing could keep him away.
 

[Fatal Irony]

"I wish Mom could visit..." She frowned, her chest tight. She couldn't help but miss her mother. "Has there been any word?" She was hesitant and shaky in asking. She worried one day the only word they would get would be that Zyanya had died. She hated herself a little, but she almost wished for the news, if only to know for certain what had become of her. Still, she regretted bringing her up to her father, knowing the topic to be painful. "Sorry, I just wish we knew what happened to her."
 

[Fatal Irony]

He wasn't surprised at her question. He often longed to know what had happened to his former mate. He worried perhaps her illness had gotten worse and she had left to spare them the pain. Or perhaps she had bored of them and gone. There was no way to tell. He was moving on though, and felt less pain as time went by. "There hasn't been any word, I'm sorry. I'd tell you right away if there were. You don't need her around, though. Everything will be ok without her, I promise."
 

[Fatal Irony]

She was relieved that her father seemed to be moving on. Perhaps that meant she could speak more openly about her mother from now on. She motioned for her father to follow and began walking, feeling a bit pent up from standing around. She let the silence linger for a while, just enjoying the companionable quiet between them. The air was pleasantly cool, a slight breeze teasing her hair about her shoulders. " I wish you would find someone new," she said carefully, giving her father a sideways glance to gauge his reaction. She'd certainly never ventured into this territory before, discussing her father's feelings and love life with him. She wondered how he would take it. She was an adult now, and felt she should be able to talk to him as equals. "You know you deserve love, don't you? You can't wait around for Mom forever." She may never come back, she thought but didn't say.
 

[Fatal Irony]

Her statement stung; he couldn't deny it. He also couldn't deny the wisdom in those words. His heart longed to be shared with another, even as he still pined for his lost love. He knew she wasn't returning, however. He couldn't explain how, but he knew it deep down in the secret places of his soul. He would always miss her, but he drew away from her more and more internally. He had been moving on for a while, silently, but to have it laid before him this way gave him pause. To speak of it was to make it official. He walked in silence, chewing on his words before finally replying, "I know you are right. And I have, sort of." He had met a colorful mare in passing, but she was travelling the deserts now. He thought of her more and more. "I don't think it will work out though." He had doubt in his voice.
 

[Fatal Irony]

Her ears perked up and swiveled towards him to better hear what he had to say. She couldn't help a grin splitting her face or the renewed lightness in her step. He wasn't pining away after a lost cause after all! She found his hesitation endearing. "Who is she," she practically pounced on him as she asked. "I must know everything! And why don't you think it will work out? I'm sure you're wrong. Don't be so pessimistic!" She was vibrating with excitement and talking too fast. She took a breath to calm herself, still grinning. "I bet she's wonderful."
 

[Fatal Irony]

As much as he wanted to tramp down his feelings of excitement, in the face of his daughter's overwhelming approval and optimism he couldn't help but smile. "Her name is Eya Rose and she is the most lovely thing I've ever seen." He was wistful, his mind at ease and his heart a-flutter. "But she's travelling in the desert now and I'll probably never see her again." He let out a heavy sigh.
 

[Fatal Irony]

She nodded along, encouraging her father to talk more about this wonderful mare. She hoped the stranger was worthy of her father. She could tell from his tone that Rainbow Swirl was describing Eya's character as beautiful, more than her outer appearance. Roxxanna's father was always more interested in the soul of his companions. When he spoke of never seeing the mare again Roxxanna could not stand it. She wouldn't allow that to come to pass. It was too important for her father to be happy, and there was a glimmer of hope that he could be. She already began hatching plans on how to track someone through the desert, which was no small task. It was doable, though. With the proper preparation and companions, the Quest for Her Father's Love could be a great success! She nodded along with herself as she made plans. "You shouldn't give up so easily," she told ehr father in her best scolding voice. "We can find her for sure!"