Welcome to Gaia! ::

General Description: Shadow is far from your typical Geist. In fact, he kind of resents being one. He doesn't enjoy the reputation that comes with being a member of his Race. He has his own set of morals he grew up with as an Orphan of the Cache and it aligns more with the cultures of the other Races rather than his own. Because of disliking what he is, he's also greatly adverse to using his natural Geist abilities unless he feels he absolutely has to, usually for the sake of others.

This Nightmare very much values his independence and it is a source of pride for him along with his mature ability to take things seriously. In the end, he feels that the only one he can really rely on is himself. It also ties in to his cynicism and his inability to trust easily because he's so suspicious and often envious of others. Deep down, he's mostly insecure about himself because he detests the fact that he's a Geist.

His pessimism and doubt regarding what others think of him is an obstacle to overcome, but otherwise he's a good listener, very helpful and useful when given a chance, caring in general, compassionate towards his fellow Nightmares, and extremely loyal to those he trusts. He can talk things out with others or help them find a solution that they can't find on their own and is generally a pretty good friend once he opens up to someone. In the end, all he really wants is to be accepted for who he is rather than what he is.

Personality:
(=) Serious - This Geist doesn't often joke around and he doesn't waste his Geist abilities on petty, frivolous party tricks. Shadow only uses them when necessary and isn't very fond of doing so. If someone wants to tell him something, he can generally be trusted to take the matter seriously. However, he's a little hard to play with because of this and doesn't take kindly to pranks, jokes, or tricks; especially when he believes someone could be in serious danger. This is one of many reasons he doesn't appreciate the Geist culture. Above all, Shadow tries to do what he believes is right. He has a very strong sense of what is right and wrong and will always listen to his conscience. This sense of morals is the main reason he is at odds with the culture of his own Race and is unwilling to try to understand it.

(+) Independent - Even as an Orphan from the Cache, (perhaps even because of it,) Shadow has been as self-reliant as he was capable of being since he was very young. He tries to be more mature than most of his peers and does his best to get things done. Learning from watching and listening to others, Shadow is pretty street-smart and knows how to think on his feet. He is reliable enough to look to for advice on what to do in a situation, though he's not likely to turn to anyone else for help.

(-) Pessimistic - Due to his inclination toward negative and gloomy thoughts, this Nightmare generally keeps away from others to avoid raining on their parade unless they come to him. He tends to be very angsty, believing that no one else knows what it's like to be a Geist who hates his own Race. He won't easily open up to others to talk about it either because he doesn't want them to bother with it or doesn't believe they'll understand. As long as there are others around to just be by his side, though, he isn't able to think such negative thoughts for long. For the sake of his fellow Nightmares, he can temporarily manage to brush aside the constant, metaphorical rain cloud that hangs above his head and make an effort to interact with a degree of pleasantry.

(+) Helpful - This Geist likes working with others any chance he can get and if he can help them out by doing it, all the better. He tends to be very protective and cooperative, sometimes even acting as a guardian or a big brother for younger Nightmares and watching over them when he can. Shadow can be kind and helpful when others come to him with their problems, whether it means lending an ear, giving advice, or assisting with something. He does his best to keep others happy by coming up with solutions for their issues.

(-) Insecure - One of Shadow's biggest flaws is his self-loathing. Somewhat disgusted with himself, he tries to avoid looking into mirrors and reflections. His predominant nature seems to be gloomy, and as he doesn't actively seek out the company of others, he also seems to be aloof or distant. Shadow doesn't like the idea of being a wet blanket and bringing others down with him, especially when he's brooding. He actually loves company; it's just that he's so insecure about himself and what others think of him as a Geist that he doesn't have the will to try to reach out to others on his own too often. Unless, of course, they are in need of his help.

(+) Caring - Acting rather brotherly towards fellow students, especially Freshlings, this Geist worries for the sake of others and will do what he can to take care of them if he believes it necessary. He tries to act mature and be the one to put his foot down when it's time for lights out or if he sees trouble brewing among other Nightmares. Although Shadow seems to be outwardly distant, cold, and aloof, he will always take the time to listen to those who need someone to talk to. He tends to be very empathetic and sympathetic due to his considerate nature and is often very thoughtful of others' circumstances, doing what he can to help them out. His sincerity and kindness aren't always blatantly obvious, however, and it would take a little time of getting to know him for one to recognize said intentions in his actions. He is not especially demonstrative of his kindness, nor is he used to outwardly putting on displays of affection. His caring of others is more prominent in the little things he does. He has a great deal of compassion for others, especially those that can somehow find it in their hearts and minds to accept him.

(-) Cynical - Shadow is suspicious and mistrusting of most people by nature, especially other Geists. This Geist prefers to gain most of his knowledge from his trial and error, learning from his own experiences and past mistakes rather than written or verbal warnings from others because he isn't so trusting of anyone besides himself. This has a little to do with the values of the Geist culture, which he has trouble understanding and disagrees with. He doesn't like the idea that any culture would allow and even encourage stealing and deceit, no matter what codes they have to go by. Shadow is also wary of other Races, especially those who might discriminate against or make assumptions of him simply because he is a Geist. However, that isn't to say he doesn't trust at all. While he is willing to give others a chance, if they open up to him enough, they might earn enough of his trust over time to get him to open up in return.

(+) Loyal - If you make a friend of Shadow, you'll have made a friend for life. He is very devoted, committed, and loyal to his friends, and according to his morals, he will never turn on them for any reason because they have earned his trust. He will defend them with all his heart and soul, get back at people who have wronged them, and go to the ends of the Earth for their sake. That's not to say his never disagrees or fights with his friends, but he thinks that one of the main things about being friends is being honest, so he'd prefer to tell the truth rather than be politely agreeable. Friends are especially important to Shadow because of how insecure he is and how much he worries about what others think of his being a Geist. He's not so trusting of people at first, but once someone has his trust, his bond of friendship is hard to shake.

(-) Envious - The grass is always greener on the other side. As a Geist, this Nightmare often wonders what it would be like to have been born a different Race. He also wonders what it would have been like to be born to an actual family rather than being an Orphan and raised in the Asphodel Gardens. Because he never knew he parents, he doesn't really miss them, but the thought of the lost opportunity to get to know them causes him to brood. Shadow would have liked to know if they were like him in being adverse to typical Geist culture or if they might have raised him in a different way so he could have understood it better. Having grown up around so many other Races, though, he developed his own sense of morals from all of them as a whole rather than just his own. It might have been nice to feel like he could fit in and belong with other Geists, but he also couldn't imagine who he would be without the strong beliefs of the morals that shaped him.

Favorite Things: His clothes, which are about the only things he owns. They aren't his favorite because he likes fashion or anything, either. He feels he needs them to hide his natural appearance as much as possible.

Hobbies:
Looking after Others - This Geist plays the role of an older brother very seriously, especially when it comes to other Orphans of the Cache and Freshlings. Though he himself has never had parents, he wants to act as much like family for others as he can. He also helps out the adult Nightmares at the Asphodel Gardens and Academy when they're short-staffed or busy because it helps him learn how to be more responsible. In learning how to take care of others, he feels he can also learn how to take care of himself better.

Listening to Others - Although Shadow seems to be outwardly distant, cold, and aloof to those who don't know him, he will always take the time to listen to others, especially due to his lonely nature. If one can get past the idea that he's a Geist and thus might use anything they say against them, he's pretty easy to talk to because he's a good listener. He's also willing just hanging around to keep them company, especially late at night, and will try to offer advice, encouragement, and or support should anyone ever seem to need it.

Wandering Around - Shadow likes wandering and exploring the academy, especially when he needs time to himself to think. Taking walks such as these also allow him to observe things he might not normally notice in the hectic activity of everyday life. It gives him his regular dose of solitude, peace, quiet, and time to himself. This variant of pacing allows him to 'stop and smell the roses' - both figuratively and literally.

Helping with Errands - Though one might not find such a hobby relaxing, Shadow grows bored and lonely when he has nothing to do and thus will help others with errands they need to run. He especially enjoys watching younger ones or acting as a hall monitor and he's not afraid to enforce rules, so he doesn't mind being the one to put his foot down when everyone else is misbehaving. He may be a party pooper, but he prefers to be responsible and to make sure everyone is safe rather than sorry.

Abilities: At his age, most Geist would probably have had more control over their natural Racial abilities, but Shadow never bothered to properly learn how to use them, he never really got the hang of it. He has no interest in learning how to become intangible out of the fear that he could possibly disappear into thin air. What abilities he can use, he doesn't use lightly and will avoid doing so when he can.

Likes:
Darkness - He tends to think better at night and feel more at home in the dark because he doesn't have to worry too much about people judging him for his appearance and Race when he can hide in the shadows.

Optimism & Positive Thinkers - As most know, being surrounded by positive people and those with optimistic attitudes can vastly change one's outlook on life. For Shadow, who has a natural tendency to be pessimistic, spending time around more optimistic people is important to him.

Getting to Know Others - Despite not being too open with strangers, Shadow is perfectly comfortable listening to others share about themselves. He really likes listening to others talk about their lives, their goals, their aspirations, and what they believe their purposes to be. He is also more than happy to support and encourage them in their endeavors in any way he can, provided they don't go against his own morals.

Making Friends - It's difficult for this Geist to make friends because he doesn't trust others of his Race and many other Races don't trust him because of his own. This makes any few friends that Shadow might have all the more precious to him, though, because he doesn't readily open up and trust just anyone. They are special to him particularly because of the ease with which he gets lonely.

Helping Out - Shadow really takes pride in being useful and needed because he feels like he's making his own purpose for living and that perhaps his existence isn't entirely worthless after all. It means a lot for him to be able to help others and make a difference in their lives for the better.

Dislikes:
Mirrors - He hates mirrors and anything reflective because he hates looking at himself with self-disgust. His loathing for his appearance makes him certain that others find him just as ugly and hideous to look at as he does, particularly due to his Geist traits, which he wishes he could hide but cannot.

Geists - Having been born and raised as an Orphan from the Cache, Shadow never really connected with the culture of his Race. He clung to the morals he developed growing up about right and wrong, leaving no room for the complexities of Geist morals. All he knew was that Geists seemed to delight in tricking other Races and didn't seem to take anything seriously or try to understand why those whom they tricked got so upset with their deciet. He knows what they're capable of, being a Geist himself, but that only gives him less of a reason to trust them. He can't stand other Geists any more than he can stand himself.

Injustice, Inconsideration, & Ill Will Towards Others - He will not abide these from anyone. He really cares about his fellow Nightmares and will not stand to see them take advantage of one another even if it's just to play or to see if they could. He does whatever he can to prevent or put a stop to these whenever he notices any of them brewing. He is whole-heartedly against unfairness and immorality.

Using Geist Abilities - Shadow does his best to refrain from using his abilities as a Geist as much as he possibly can. Although he's aware of what his Race can do, he wouldn't want to be a hypocrite by putting his abilities to use when he resents others of his kind and what they use theirs for. Aside from this, Shadow also fears that using said abilities might possibly cause him to disappear and cease existing altogether. There are exceptions to him not using his Geist abilities such as when others might desperately need his help and he has no other possible way to save them. However, due to his unwillingness to hone his skills, he's not very good at using said abilities.

Being Alone - As easy as it is for Shadow to get lonely, he still tends to isolate himself when he wants to avoid dampening the spirits of others with his dour mood. He doesn't like being alone most of the time, even if it helps him to think, because his thoughts almost always turn negative and he ends up brooding, dwelling on things he can't change.

Motivation: Shadow would like to protect and care for others to the best of his abilities in order to make up for his being a Geist and to prove to everyone that he doesn't have what he considers 'the same crooked ideals' that they do. To him, helping others makes his abominable existence worthwhile and he hopes to ultimately redeem himself for being born the Race he was as well as find a life purpose; a higher reason for living.

Affect of Life at the Academy on Personality: Because he's never known any other life, it wouldn't really be accurate to say that he longs for having a traditional one with family. He doesn't even know what a traditional family for a Geist would be like. Still, that isn't to say he's not a little bit envious of other Nightmares who get to go home to loving parents. That doesn't seem to be the case for the majority of the school, though, so he's not particularly envious of most. He also prefers being around other Races rather than his own, so he's fairly happy at the Academy where there are numerous others to learn from and always plenty of others to play 'big brother' to.

Fit into Academy House: As a student of the Enoch house, Shadow isn't particularly fond of subjects like Science and Mathematics, but they make sense to him and he's fairly good when it comes to solid logic and facts. As serious as he is, he likes stability and to be able to understand how direct questions lead to direct answers rather than the wishy-washy, ambiguous possibilities of creative and philosophical subjects. One question leading to one answer is good enough for him because the world is too complex as it is.

Feelings on Race: If it hasn't been made clear by now, one of this Geist's most defining characteristics is that he doesn't understand and is very much against his Race, its culture, and its reputation among other Nightmares. He doesn't even fully trust Geist mentors because he believes their own upbringing was warped, so how could they teach him anything but their own warped sense of morals? He is far beyond trying to understand the complex social dynamics of the Geist system regarding theft and mischief because all he's seen and heard of it is what harm it does to other Races. To him, the sacking of other cities just 'to see if they could do it' is no proper reason at all for their actions. He finds Geists to be very inconsiderate of others, so why should he try to be considerate of their ways if they don't try to understand how their actions affect other races? It doesn't bother him that he's different from other Geists, but it does bother him that he is a Geist because of how other Races must view him. He couldn't care less of what his own Race thinks of him and would just as soon turn around and ask them all what the hell is wrong with their way of thinking. To Shadow, the Geists are like a Race of immature kids forever pulling pranks over on one another with no other purpose to their lives, which is why he strives to find a different life purpose for himself. He would never, ever want to live a more traditional life of a Geist in his Race's territory because of the chaos he believes must persist there among them and the heart of their culture.

There was a commotion in the next corridor. Shadow hurried to find the source. When he came across the trouble, the scene before him consisted of a Baphomet Freshling yelling at a smug-looking Geist Junior about a lost toy.

"Hey, hey, calm down a minute. What's going on here?" Shadow demanded to know.

"Dani took my goat plushie!" the little Baphomet girl cried, pointing at the Geist. "They won't tell me where he is or give him back!"

"Where's the fun if you don't even try to find him?" the androgynous Junior answered with a sneer. "Don't you care about him? He wants you to rescue him to prove how much you love him. If I told you where he was, that ruin the whole point." Dani's sneer broadened. "Besides, what makes you so sure I even know where he is in the first place?"

The Baphomet child looked about ready to cry. Shadow knew that Freshling; she was Maddie, a child who had trouble sleeping without her beloved plushie. Stepping forward, Shadow held out his hand toward the other Geist. "Give him back, Dani. Maddie needs it."

"I don't have it!" Dani chuckled, putting up their palms in surrender. "That's pretty mean of you to accuse me of stealing when you don't even have proof. You don't even know me!" The Junior's cheerful facade dropped to reveal something more sinister. "But I know you. You're that Geist who's a failure to his Race. Shadow, right? 'The Geist afraid of his own shadow'."

Shadow flinched. He did nothing to hide the fact that he was against his own Race's culture and that he hated being a Geist. Still, though, he'd only intended to give that impression to the other Races. He hadn't even considered what his own Race must have thought of it.

"That's right; word gets around. You've been pretty horrid to your fellow Geists, even when we tried to be friendly and ease your way. Don't you know you're showing us the same prejudice you yourself are trying to avoid?" Dani asked, crossing their arms across their chest.

Unsure what was going on, Maddie looked up at Shadow, who was struggling to think of how to reply. "It's not the same!" he shouted. "I don't bully other Nightmares or trick them just to see if I can. I don't care if it's permissible among your own Race; it's not right here. You should know better than to subject others to your immature games, especially when they're too young to understand why you do it. You're only giving Geists a worse reputation for the Freshlings to learn. It's you who's the disgrace, not me."

Maddie, sensing Shadow's unease, took his hand to comfort him. He accepted it and squeezed it once to express his gratitude toward her, but his narrowed gaze remained trained on Dani.

Dani shrugged. "If you want to stubbornly stick to your closed-minded idea of ethics, that's your problem. But I'll tell you what. If you're not a failure, prove it." The Junior smirked at Maddie as he continued. "I'm going to go see if I can pay a visit to that goat of Maddie's. If you're such a hero, Shadow, follow me and you just might find him." As they spoke, Dani began to become transparent as they prepared to go intangible. "Oh...did I mention only real Geists would be able to follow?" Laughing, the androgynous Junior slipped into the nearest wall and disappeared.

Before he could open his mouth to retort, Dani was gone. Shadow hurried around the next corner to try to catch sight of the other Geist as they came through the wall, but when he got there, he realized it was lined with lockers. Dani could have been in any one of them or long gone. He stared hard at the rows and rows of metal doors, only looking away when Maddie joined him at his side.

"...Did you find them?" she asked in a small voice, looking up at the older Nightmare.

"...No," he said softly, turning to kneel beside the Baphomet child. "I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you go through the wall like Dani? Aren't you a Geist, too?" she asked. "I thought all Geists could."

"They can," Shadow answered with a sigh, "but I don't like being a Geist. They do things I can't stand, so I don't want to be anything like them. That includes using their abilities."

"Oh," Maddie replied, looking crestfallen. She began to turn away and Shadow got the feeling she didn't understand his reasoning. "Okay. I'll...just have to try to sleep without him, then."

"Maddie...I can tell you a bedtime story to try to help you sleep," Shadow offered, standing again as he watched the little one go. It make him feel worse than ever to see her so sad.

"No...that's okay," the Baphomet girl said, her back still to the Geist. By the trembling of her voice, he could tell she was fighting back tears. "I'll...I can read my own story." Her voice cracking at the end, the Freshling put the back of her hand to her eyes and took off as fast as she could down the corridor, presumably to find an adult to comfort her.

The Geist watched her until she was out of sight. He wondered if she blamed him for not having given a proper pursuit of Dani. Then again, this disappointment in Shadow was probably what Dani had meant to instill in Maddie all along. Cunning b*****d... he thought. That's playing dirty.

Why couldn't he have been born some other Race? He felt virtually helpless not allowing himself to use the abilities he had been given, but having no other abilities to rely on. Maddie would grow to hate him just as much as any other Geist. Baphomets had the biggest problems with his Race, he knew, and it made him sad to think she would develop the same opinion of him as the ones he detested so much. No...it made him more than sad. He was frustrated and enraged.

Spinning around in a sudden fit of exasperation, Shadow punched the nearest locker. He braced himself for the pain of impact, but he never felt it. Due to his high level of emotional stress, his body was losing tangibility again and his hand had gone right through the locker door.

Great, he thought irritably. I can't even vent my feelings without screwing up somehow.

He was about to pull his hand back out when he realized he could feel something in the locker. Books...? Huh. Moving along the wall, he felt his way into the next locker. It seemed to be empty; nothing but smooth, cold metal at the back. In the next one, he felt the nasty stickiness of chewed gum and quickly moved on. Dani had come through this wall, so what if Maddie's toy goat was in one of these lockers? Since his upset state had gotten him this far, he figured he might as well take advantage of it.

At last, after touching one-too-many unknown objects Shadow wasn't sure he wanted to see, the plush feel of a soft toy met his fingertips. Getting a grip on it, he slowly pulled it out, only to discover that it was, indeed, Maddie's precious goat. Pleased at his discovery, the Geist's emotions calmed and his body returned to its normal solidity. He couldn't stick his hand through any more locker doors, but unethical as that was, he was completely fine with it. He'd found what he'd been looking for.

The next day, as a well-rested Maddie played with her favorite toy, Dani came around and gaped in surprise. "But...how'd you find him?" he asked. "He was locked up. My locker - "

"What about your locker?" Shadow inquired, stepping away from the wall he'd been leaning against to watch over Maddie. "I thought you said you didn't take him."

"Er, I...never said I did," Dani answered, though their eyes were on the Baphomet child as she came up to Shadow and hugged his arm as well as her goat, casting Dani the same smug look that they'd given her the day before.

"Right," Shadow answered. Then he actually smiled slightly. "I guess you didn't. After all, you knew I couldn't follow you. But it looks like that goat missed Maddie as much as she missed him, because here here he is, safe and sound." Ruffling Maddie's hair, he shook his head, still smiling crookedly. "I owe you an apology, Dani. Sorry I accused you without figuring out the facts first. And you're right - I'm a terrible Geist. But only because I strive to be the worst out there."

Maddie giggled at that. Dani could only manage to look dumbfounded. As for Shadow, he began to think that maybe he wasn't wrong for sticking to his strong morals and emotions after all.