|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 6:04 pm
So I ran into one of my old friends and she was greatly surprised when we discussed our preferences. We're both lesbians, and she was surprised that I was one because 'I didn't look like one'.
I get this all the time, and I wasn't offended with her because I understand at this point. It's just irritating when i'm told that I don't look like the part.
All's fair though smile I'm comfortable with how I look and I like the look of surprises at this point lol
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 6:14 pm
And you should be. There is no way to "Look Like a Lesbian". There is no code of conduct or perfect way. Lesbian and Gay come in all shapes, sizes and looks. If you feel comfortable in your skin then be proud. But no honey. There is no specific way to look to be gay. I assume your friend believes in the stereotype Lesbian, which isn't true. So long as you are fine with what's under the dress, that is what classifies you as a Lesbian. Not your outfit. Be proud my friend! And keep your head up.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Queen_EnchantedLuck Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Queen_EnchantedLuck Captain
|
Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 6:17 pm
The Madame Red So I ran into one of my old friends and she was greatly surprised when we discussed our preferences. We're both lesbians, and she was surprised that I was one because 'I didn't look like one'. I get this all the time, and I wasn't offended with her because I understand at this point. It's just irritating when i'm told that I don't look like the part. All's fair though smile I'm comfortable with how I look and I like the look of surprises at this point lol
I also forgot to say welcome to the Guild. I'm it's Host and Captain; Luck. Please feel free and comfortable to message me or add me as a friend. I love helping friends in difficult situations and love talking and meeting new Gaians. Welcome dearie and thank you for joining.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 7:04 pm
Ah, thank you for the warm welcome!
Sorry I haven't responded sooner. I always try to join LGBT people and talk to those who have questions. It's always hard to walk amongst this kind of path, well it was for me for some reasons, so I try to talk to people who've walked in my kind of heels before. It's not easy when you you apparently 'act' a certain way but adhere to another or desire another.
So i'm proud to be apart of this guild smile Thank you for the acceptance!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 4:28 am
Yeah, I'mma go with what she said *points at Luck*. If you're comfortable with how you act and how you look, that's you. Neither of those have an impact on who you're attracted to. They are only impacted by who you're attracted to when you're living up to a stereotype ... which is just plain unhealthy, mentally. And emotionally. And ... right, I'mma go somewhere that I won't ramble on in posts, 'cause I'm not all here today. Plus a migraine. So yeah, seeya.
-Red.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 8:26 am
redheadstemper Yeah, I'mma go with what she said *points at Luck*. If you're comfortable with how you act and how you look, that's you. Neither of those have an impact on who you're attracted to. They are only impacted by who you're attracted to when you're living up to a stereotype ... which is just plain unhealthy, mentally. And emotionally. And ... right, I'mma go somewhere that I won't ramble on in posts, 'cause I'm not all here today. Plus a migraine. So yeah, seeya. -Red. Yup yup 3nodding Good luck with your migraine though, I know those hurt!~ And stereotypes are so icky lol. A predetermined title isn't a compliment nor is it justifiable. Just because a woman looks and acts a certain way doesn't mean she fits into that cookie cutter material, but people are quick to look at the cover of others and place that title onto them.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Queen_EnchantedLuck Captain
|
Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2014 1:57 pm
The Madame Red Ah, thank you for the warm welcome! Sorry I haven't responded sooner. I always try to join LGBT people and talk to those who have questions. It's always hard to walk amongst this kind of path, well it was for me for some reasons, so I try to talk to people who've walked in my kind of heels before. It's not easy when you you apparently 'act' a certain way but adhere to another or desire another. So i'm proud to be apart of this guild smile Thank you for the acceptance!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 6:15 pm
Yeah, see, stereotypes are useful, it's only when you can't see past them that it's a problem ... for example, if she'd said she never would have guessed, you'd ... well, in your situation I'd like to think I'd have passed her off as unobservant, a opposed to offensive. People who are observant, as I like to think I am, put people into 'maybe' categories: most people who dress like that are *profession*, so I'll put them there until I notice something that moves them elsewhere. I like to think of it as leaving the boxes open, and being willing to notice when people don't fit into them ... also, having a 'I have no clue' box is good.
Y'know, just to keep the box analogy that tends to go with stereotyping going.
And when you're trying to live up to a stereotype, it's like you're cutting yourself up to fit inside someone else's box.
So yeah, that's my view on stereotypes and why they exist, outside of the 'people are stupid' idea.
That said, I always found it remarkably stupid to have stereotypes regarding sexuality. I just tend to notice who someone seems to be attracted to ... and then promptly forget until something brings it to mind, because the only reasons for me to care are if one of the people involved is a friend, or me.
True story: a friend of mine went into town with me since we both needed to vote. She was wearing nice slacks, a nice shirt, and has very long, blonde hair. I was in jeans, a ... well, I thought of it as a nice shirt, but I think the conservative idiots outside the center thought it was butch, and a bandana. I was having a bad day, so I kept close to Laura, and then she waited for me after she finished voting. As we left, passing said conservatives, she said something along the lines of 'let's go home', since I was at her place for DnD. The looks on their faces was priceless. We were laughing all the way back to her place about it. Mainly because she's married, and I'm pretty much devoted to a man. Everyone was very amused.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 8:06 pm
Welcome to the guild!
When people tell me that I don't look like a lesbian, I tell them that I wished how all lesbians looked, because it would sure make picking up girls a lot easier. C:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 5:06 am
Many of my friends had to tell me they were bi/lesbians, because I had no idea! Alright, of some I did, they couldn't be more obvious (behaviour-wise - as in: flirting with every girl they knew) xd But I hadn't realised so many of my friends were anything other than straight. Now I know nearly all my friends are bi/lesbian. Most of them look just like the average girl (only my friends often dress better and have better hair and make-up ^^)
I myself don't even know in which category I fit, because I have yet to feel romantically/sexually attracted to someone (and that while I'm 24 -.- I still have my fingers crossed that I'm not asexual- I blame stress).
I'm lucky enough to live in the Netherlands, where the law does not discriminate based on someone's sexuality, but somehow people seem to get more closed minded as of late.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Queen_EnchantedLuck Captain
|
Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2014 12:09 am
Shasita Many of my friends had to tell me they were bi/lesbians, because I had no idea! Alright, of some I did, they couldn't be more obvious (behaviour-wise - as in: flirting with every girl they knew) xd But I hadn't realised so many of my friends were anything other than straight. Now I know nearly all my friends are bi/lesbian. Most of them look just like the average girl (only my friends often dress better and have better hair and make-up ^^) I myself don't even know in which category I fit, because I have yet to feel romantically/sexually attracted to someone (and that while I'm 24 -.- I still have my fingers crossed that I'm not asexual- I blame stress). I'm lucky enough to live in the Netherlands, where the law does not discriminate based on someone's sexuality, but somehow people seem to get more closed minded as of late.
I don't believe you are asexual hun. I have a feeling that you are not searching for that and therefore that isn't something you are finding. Or perhaps you just haven't found the one. I felt like I would never have that experience, but once I found the very man that I could trust having that experience with it truly makes the difference. My advice to you is too not rush that experience. When it happens, it will be amazing. I was 21 when I lost mine. So that is not far from 24. I wish you like m'dear. If you need help with stress. Come talk to me. My door is always open. I am an anxiety sufferer. So I know the stressed feeling all too well.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2014 12:21 am
Shasita Many of my friends had to tell me they were bi/lesbians, because I had no idea! Alright, of some I did, they couldn't be more obvious (behaviour-wise - as in: flirting with every girl they knew) xd But I hadn't realised so many of my friends were anything other than straight. Now I know nearly all my friends are bi/lesbian. Most of them look just like the average girl (only my friends often dress better and have better hair and make-up ^^) I myself don't even know in which category I fit, because I have yet to feel romantically/sexually attracted to someone (and that while I'm 24 -.- I still have my fingers crossed that I'm not asexual- I blame stress). I'm lucky enough to live in the Netherlands, where the law does not discriminate based on someone's sexuality, but somehow people seem to get more closed minded as of late. Stress could certainly have something to do with it - that, and some people are just "late bloomers" when it comes to sexuality. Being only in your mid-twenties, I would definitely not write yourself off to never being able to hold attraction for someone. I'm sure you will, eventually smile All things in good time. When you are ready, you will know.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 3:18 am
Thank you guys heart
And yes, I'm not really looking right now. First I want to get my life in order. Graduate, get a job, get my own place and then I'll see about love 3nodding A couple of my best friends also have the same 'issue' (though we don't really see it as an issue xd ), so at least I'm not alone smile
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
