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 Posted: Sun Jan 18, 2015 5:53 pm
A tear escaped, wetting the soft fur on Em's cheek. She reached out to give the Seer a tight hug best she could from their seated positions. "Vanya, I'm humbled and honored to be your mentor and friend. It's been a treat for me, to watch you grow and learn, even before discovering your true past. So yes, forged in this life." She felt guilty, because she had doubts that she may have used her knowledge for personal gain. But hearing the contrary from Vanya's voice eased those doubts.
Em never knew how Thalas fell. She didn't think she wanted to know. But she felt like she needed to. A piece of her heart was begging her to tell Vanya she didn't want to hear anymore. But she knew she needed to help shoulder this burden so Vanya didn't carry the full weight all alone. It'd eventually crush her completely.
She bit her lip, and exhaled slowly as tears soaked her cheeks. She kept a hand on the young faun's shoulder for comfort as she recounted Thalas' last day.
Or so she thought.
"Wh...what happened?" Her voice cracked. Did she want to know? He was captured.Teigra Sorry for the length and lack of quality, this is a hard RP to get back into character for. sad
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2015 8:42 pm
Already, her stomach churned with anxiety, from the turmoil she was putting Emalyn through as well as the fear of reliving the nightmare once more. Vanya would have done anything to never return to that dark place ever again; it still haunted her, whether waking or asleep. To deliberately seek to revisit it...
She suppressed a shudder at the thought, wringing her hands. She couldn't focus on that...Emalyn wanted to know what happened to Thalas...but she didn't need all the horrible details. Vanya just needed to handle this as clinically as possible. Keep her distance from the memory, just deliver the facts, try to remember only the information that might be important to pass along.
Easy to say, not so easy to do.
Thalas had been relieved at least that Emalyn had not known the truth of what happened to him. To tell her now felt like betrayal.
But not telling her at this point, now that she knew something had happened would be too cruel to bear.
Taking a deep breath, Vanya attempted to steel herself and closed her eyes to better focus on the details that might be important...and keep enough control to avoid the more traumatic ones. "...we awoke sometime after in a Blood Pae'il camp. The enemy all around...bound, but with wounds treated," she related in an even voice, seeming not to notice her slip in pronoun usage. She could remember the acrid scent of smoke and blood on the air. The clank of enemy armor nearby. She swallowed hard.
"There was..." she caught herself before she said 'a man'. No, a beast. A monster. Revulsion swept over her in a wave and she felt her stomach turn. "...a General," she settled on at last; it was factual enough. "There were questions...mostly about where the Faun and the Tree had gone, but also about the Book. Where was the Book? Where was it hidden? Always the Book..." Flashes of pain. Darkness. Shouting. Smoke and fire. Unknowingly, tears had gathered and ran from the corners of the Seer's eyes, clenched tightly shut as if she could block out...
Vanya shuddered, biting back a strangled sob. No! She wasn't there anymore...she was here...safe...surrounded by the calming scent of lavender, not smoke and coppery blood.
No! Back to what Emalyn needs to know! What's important about what you learned? Not that you're intimately familiar with the scent of burning flesh and fur. Not how many times one can die and be brought back. What does she need to know to be at peace?
Realizing now that she'd pulled away from Earthmother's touch, wrapping her arms around herself, Vanya tried to force away the tension and fear to continue. What did she need to hear? "...he never gave them anything," she finally said softly, voice cracking with emotion. "He never told them. Never even allowed himself to think about the truth, lest he unwittingly betray his kin. He tried to come up with some way to escape and return to the Tree, but..." She faltered. "...when he realized it was inevitable...he sought his own death rather than risk betraying the Faun. He wouldn't allow the losses and all that you'd accomplished to be for naught. He staged an escape to force them to end his life."
Antidia No worries...it's a struggle here too. Darn emotionally-charged RPs. ^^;;
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2015 10:46 pm
Emalyn gasped and shook her head. No. She didn't want to hear anymore. It was too painful for both of them. The morbid curiosity line had been crossed into self-torture. But dare she push for more? Vanya was already in so much pain from a memory that should have been buried. But Thalas... The faun Earthmother covered her mouth to suppress a sob. The tears blurring her vision. Among the items she prepared for this particular meeting, she had overlooked the most important one: hankies. Em had to use the back of her other hand to wipe away what she could of the tears pouring from her eyes. What would Thalas had done if he'd escaped? The Tree was long gone. No telling what the state of the other capitals were left in. It is only assumed that Templa and Vilya succeeded, if they had already returned. Would Thalas had been left to the wolves? Or was capture a worse fate? She remembered something Vanya had shouted during her vision. "No, not again! Why won't you just let me die!? " The captors wouldn't let him die. Did they...? No ... blood pae are ruthless, but would they go that far? Em swallowed hard and sighed, "Vanya, what happened to Thalas? And remember, that wasn't you." Her voice wavered, and she silently prayed to the spirits she was doing the right thing. Maybe ignorance truly is bliss? EM inhaled slowly, holding her breath and waiting for the worst. She reached out to gently touch Vanya's shoulder, hopefully helping to easy the young Seer's anxieties.
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:08 pm
Vanya seemed to not notice the damp fur beneath her eyes, instead having focused inward again. Did she want her to say it? Was the implication not strong enough in her recount? Must she use the actual words? Anything but that...already the nightmarish experience was creeping in the edges of her thoughts, reaching out like terrible claws, latching onto her thoughts, her mind...
She jumped visibly when Emalyn's hand touched her shoulder, words spilling forth automatically from her lips. "General Strafe has ways of getting what he wants." It sounded rehearsed...a mantra repeated so long that all emotion and inflection were abandoned. In a way, it was. She'd heard it so many times from the guards and medics tending her...no, his wounds. Even from the beast himself...
She shook her head with a shudder. She pulled away from Emalyn's touch, but simultaneously reached for her hand with one of her own. She was finding that she could at least tolerate that contact, but anything more seemed to make her fur crawl, building anxiety and sickness within her. The pain, it was there...still lurking, the memory fresh and raw...
"Please...I'm sorry...I can't..." She swallowed hard. But it WAS me. It was Thalas, but it was me as well...every cut, every blow, every burn... "I...don't think details will help either of us. Just know...that he died rather than betray his people. He died at peace, on his terms, knowing that you were safe." The tears were flowing freely now, nearly overwhelming her with sorrow not only for what she had experienced, but the personal thoughts she had shared with Thalas, as well as the tragic truth she'd had to bestow on poor Emalyn. Was anything to be gained from this? Had she brought all this pain down upon them...for nothing?
"He...didn't want you to know what had happened. He worried about the burden it would place on you. I feel like...I've betrayed him..." she admitted, taking Emalyn's hand in both of hers tightly. "Please...please don't..." She couldn't finish the thought...because she had no idea how to.
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 12:11 am
After a couple of deep breaths, Emalyn held Vanya's hand tight. She was right. This wasn't helping either of them. What could Em do with the information that her mate had not died as once thought. He died a hero, but no one should ever really know the full extent of what kind of hero. No faun needed to know the gruesome details. Thalas the Wise would remain a hero in folktales and children's songs. Em vowed to never let history repeat itself, even if it meant sacrificing herself. Never again...
No. Not in my lifetime.
"I understand, my sweet Vanya. Thank you for telling me what you could. Maybe I can offer to put your anxieties at ease if you wish." She was of course referring mostly to a mist of lavender and valerian root with a squeeze of lemon.
Em's ears flattened when she heard the name that Vanya chanted. That name has been whispered on the wind lately. Earthmother didn't understand the significance it held or the warning it foretold.
"Thank you for your bravery, but you are a foolhardy young faunness to dabble in rituals of such great power and perform them on yourself. I implore you to come to me if you seek such answers that others dare not ask the question to. I can protect you." Em sighed, worried and full of sadness. Poor Vanya. "You are more powerful than you know, so please, don't put your life on the line ever again."
Another deep breath and Earthmother reached to hug the young Seer. "I am glad he died on his terms. And don't you worry about betraying him, he was always trying to protect me like that. He never could keep secrets from me," tears pooled in her eyes again as the bittersweet realization came that she was still learning his secrets so long after his passing.
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 12:46 am
Unable to speak to reply, Vanya simply nodded in response to the offer to ease her anxieties, still clutching Emalyn's hand tightly. What had she done? What had she truly accomplished by all this?
Despair and pain.
Her spirit guide had been right all along.
As if she needed the acknowledgement for her foolishness. No, she was well aware that what she had done was reckless and stupid. And likely pointless it seemed. All for her damned curiosity. No, she wouldn't be seeking any such 'answers' for a long time if ever again. However, as much as she cursed her curiosity, it reared its ugly head once more.
More powerful than I know? What does that mean?
Before she could even consider voicing the question aloud, however, she was drawn into the elder's embrace. Though she stiffened at first at the contact, Vanya did not pull away this time. She wasn't the only one needing comfort, she knew, and perhaps this could help them both. She pushed aside the growing anxiety and fear, focusing on the scent of the lavender in the air, Emalyn's soft fur against her cheek, the calming aura of the elder fauness (even when clearly distraught herself). Her tension gave way to trembling, then shaking as she released the silent sobs she'd held back as long as she could. She clung to Emalyn like a lifeline, burying her face against the other's shoulder and letting it all out.
Takis had been struggling to help her how he could, Spirits bless him...but he couldn't understand. He just couldn't possibly comprehend what she'd been through and she was loath even now to try and explain. While she couldn't know all the details...Emalyn seemed to have some vague understanding at least of the trauma she'd experienced, which was enough for Vanya to allow herself to break down at last. She didn't have to carry the burden of knowledge by herself anymore...though there would be details she could never share. She would take the punishment of bearing those alone...to atone for her foolish mistake.
At some point, she muttered, "I'm so...so sorry...", muffled by the other's hair. For her mistake? For worrying Emalyn and Takis? For the news she had been forced to retell? That such a thing had happened at all? Or maybe for all the above. Some time after, her shaking had finally subsided with her tears. Exhausted, the Seer had fallen into a much-needed dreamless sleep.
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