She took a deep breath, gripping his hand tight in a gesture of thanks. Thank you for asking, thank you for forcing her to face her demons. She was scared of the emotional flood it would bring forth, but mostly scared that he wouldn't understand. “I was a singer.” she started slowly, picking through the words holding herself together for the moment, “I found my special talent was in mah voice, in mah lyrics, in mah song. I was a hit that grew quick- over night basically- because mah voice could inspire almost anyone who was will'n tah listen.” Her eyes were stating to glaze over, wide and bright with the memory of the stage, of the burning lights, the cheering of the crowd filling her ears. “But as soon as I was climb'n the ranks it was taken from me.” her eyes turned down cast, slowly turning her head towards him, her eyes filling with tears. “It was around the time mah home was taken from me, it was like all of a sudden I lost mah special someth'n. I can't express the feel'n. Of be'n someone, of know'n who you were, then all of a sudden people hat'n you and say'n this isn't it. It was like I did'n know who I was anymo'.” her voice dropped further and further till it was barely above a whisper. The tears began to pour down her face and she quickly brushed a few off her cheeks for them to just be replaced by more. “I made it here, but it was like I had lost myself. I didn't know what my purpose was, what I was good for anymore. I got as lost here as I felt...”
She stood quiet and still for a moment, just allowing the hot tears to pour down her face. It had been awhile since she had felt the searing pain of loss. She had worked so hard to push it all down, to recover herself somehow. Now she supposed it had been the wrong way to go about it because here it was again fresh and hot. She didn't know when she'd feel right again, when the pain of loss would leave her, but she hoped some day. Perhaps when she figured out who she was suppose to be, perhaps when she found her voice again, whichever it was she needed to stop feeling sorry for herself and so something about it.
She heaved a huge sigh and lifted her head towards him, smiling through the tears, “Thanks for listening.”
Seruta
Writing posts at work is tough >> Hope her emotion comes through still.
