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 Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2013 7:16 pm
The angel's tone remained polite, but something about his words had a sense of unease growing within the Seer. Before he could continue further, she held up a hand to halt him. "Please. Before you continue, I'd like to go back to something you said before." A frown crossed the dark Fauness' face. "Let me see if I understand. You have had mates in the past? And children?" She seemed troubled.
"You are leaving such a large family behind, blood relations...and yet you feel no connection to them, as you claim you do to Amadorine?" She chose her words carefully. "Yet...I would imagine, at the time...did you not feel a connection to them once? Did you not love them with all your heart to call them 'mates' and conceive children together? And now, to toss them aside..." She trailed off, shaking her head. "You quote Amadorine as your only connection to us. What happens if you grow tired of her as you seem to have these old 'mates' of yours? I will stress, that a marriage, a soul-bond is not something to be taken lightly, nor to be tossed aside with ease. I do not know if such a thing is even possible between a Faun and a Blood Pae'il, but if it is, it is not so easy to discard if this connection fades."
"You have no connection with the angels, and your only connection you have quoted with us is Amadorine. If something happens between you two, does that mean you'll happily turn on us and betray us as you have your own kind?" The Seer's sightless eyes narrowed, fixing the angel with a disconcerting stare. Silently, she started, ever so gently to probe; she was frightened at what she may find, but she had a duty to her people that outweighed her fear.
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Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2013 7:39 pm
Thom sighed softly "Let me explain Mi'lady, I met Jazz when I young, and she was young as well, and yes we did have a pair of boys with each other. We cared for each other, but eventually we had a falling out and mutually we parted and she wanted nothing more to do with me, she took one of our sons to live with her I took the other son and left the island. In the time I lived off the island I met a female pae named Kaelin. I don't know if perhaps our relationship was a relationship to try to mend a pained heart or not but it was one we both just jumped into. We had a pair of sons shortly around the time Rain was an adult. I honestly don't know what happened between us but Kae left the home and went back to the island she took both of our sons with her. That was around the time I felt I lost pretty much everything, especially when Rain went back to his mother." he paused to take a breath "I still care for my boys, all of them, but I haven't seen any of them, I saw Jazz once since I returned she acted as if I wasn't even there."
He shifted positions in his chair, "Mi'lady when it looked like Ama and my friendship may become more then just a friendship I didn't just jump into the decision to continue into the relationship. I took time away to think it over, I didn't want to get into something I wasn't ready to commit to for the rest of my life. Our relationship already held a test in that way that it was strong, stronger then either of my prior relationships, I believe it will last."
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Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2013 8:15 pm
The Pae talked in circles...a Blood Pae'il trick to try to confuse her? Well, that might be working, but she wouldn't let it shake her concentration. Focus, Vanya, she snapped in her head.
"In one breath, you speak of leaving behind a rather large family, including mates and children that you claim you feel no connection to. In the next, you say, that you'd protect the Faun and Amadorine's family as your own family...whom you just abandoned previously. Oh, but then you assure me that you still care for them nonetheless. You'll have to forgive me if I'm not convinced." The Seer stopped, needing to check the snide note slipping into her tone. She was to remain professional here.
Yet, something about his story was still bothering her. Besides, he'd still given her no reason why the Faun could ever trust him. There was no guarantee he wouldn't just as swiftly turn on them as he was on the Angels and other Blood Pae.
Concentrating on her other senses more, she began to 'read' the Blood Pae, though she seemed only to be staring off in the distance at something he could not see. "...you come from a large family indeed. Many, many Pae'il, many generations." She wondered if there might be a reason all these Pae'il seemed to leave him in time according to his own account. Even his own children apparently. "Blood relations as well as those of the heart," she continued in an even tone, then she started to frown slightly. Blinking, she turned her unfocused gaze on Thom, then grew distant again. No...no soul-bond between them...but there was some connection. What was it? In the broad view of Thom's family, connected souls and hearts throughout...why had she glimpsed Ama's familiar aura? And it hadn't been near Thom, else she might have explained this away. It was distant, but connected somehow. Of course, it wasn't as easy as seeing pictures or images of Pae in her mind...only the connections between souls, and she could only recognize those she'd already met. So why was a connection already there?
Without thinking on it further, she turned instead to Thom and asked bluntly, "Why do I already sense a connection between you? And not as mates. It is distant, but it is there, as a connection of hearts through many Pae'il. Are you sure this is not the connection that you feel?"
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Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2013 8:43 pm
Thom almost felt like crying, it felt like the Seer was questioning even his love for Ama. He didn't know what to say to respond to her when she told him he'd yet to convince her. He wordlessly listened to her soft monologue, he knew his family had been large. His grandmother and grandfather had had five kids of their own, and that was many seasons ago, he could only imagine just how many branches the family now had, but he didn't know, nor did he know any besides his siblings and their parents none of which he'd seen in the time since his return. He had been so far out of the loop for so long he really knew very few pae at all let alone his actual blood relations.
He never once claimed he hadn't wanted anything to do with his children but if Jazz wanted nothing to do with him and his sons had been with her for so many seasons he felt his chances were they wouldn't either. He didn't even know his youngest boys, they'd only barely begun to crawl around when Kaelin took them.
"A connection Lady Vanya? I'm sorry but I'm confused, I don't know what you mean. I only met Ama when she woke me from the hall. I don't know how there is any other connection that could have formed." the male's emotions were starting to mix, on one hand he was nervous how this would unfold in the end, but then he was also distressed as his emotions for Ama were questioned.
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Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2013 9:09 pm
He didn't know? Frowning, Vanya deepened her concentration, checking what she had Seen again, while full aware of the angel's fluctuating emotional storm. Yes, it was there, distant, but there. Shaking her head in disbelief, she couldn't believe this angel was so blessed to have such a large family, and yet, would have no part of it.
"Very well," she said at last. "But, were she not a Faun, and you an Angel, there might be more concern. Perhaps though, it is a possible reminder that you may want to look into your family after all. And hers outside the Tree. Or others if things do not work out between you two. It is best to know one's own family, especially an extensive one." Vanya was well aware that Amadorine had those on the Isle she considered family...but she'd never considered that they might also be family with this Angel.
Besides, even if she had betrayed the trust of the Circle, Amadorine was still a sister of the Tree. And those of the Tree looked out for their own. Even if it must be against those in whom trust was placed unknowingly.
"Speaking of your estranged family," she continued, showing no sign of letting up. "You said that while you felt no connection, you still cared for them. I will not pretend to understand this, but I have another question. If you were to pledge your loyalty to Laisidhiel and turn your back on the Blood Pae'il, you will be considered a traitor to your people. Your own children may one day come after you. Do you realize this?"
The Blood Pae'il had never been overly kind or merciful that she had Seen in her visions. "For that matter, what if they are used instead to get you to betray us? Would you so quickly turn on us for their sakes?"
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Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2013 9:49 pm
He nodded, not knowing she only saw him as an aura of color. He supposed maybe he should but in pure honesty he didn't really care to. He'd given up on pretty much any of them when he'd been a hermit in the mountains for those seasons. In all honesty he'd not even made a real effort to search for his youngest or Kaelin, he'd seen Jazz so he assumed that Jet and Rain were out there somewhere.
Thom looked towards the Seer when she began to speak of his estranged family, he listened to what she said and then asked. "I understand this but mi'lady, as much as I was born an angel, I've seen no reason to be loyal to them. Okay yes I have blood relations within them, but I don't see how they could be used to make me betray anyone. I don't even know my youngest sons, and the older two, well... no I don't see it happening. If Laisidhiel accepts me, she has me till the end of my days." He had no care at all for his ex-mates at all, so he didn't even consider those in the meaning behind her question.
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Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2013 2:29 pm
Perhaps Blood Pae'il communicated more differently than she realized. Somehow, what she was saying didn't seem to be getting through, or being acknowledged. Mildly frustrated, Vanya decided that if the angel decided in the future to marry his own blood sister or offspring instead, it was no business of hers, even if she found it disturbing. She dropped that issue, instead noting that he'd failed to answer one of her questions explicitly. "So, if for some reason, your children were sent to kill you for being a traitor to your kind, you'd have no problems killing them instead? Good to know." Her tone was clipped and business-like, as if keeping notes in her head.
While not the original point of this meeting, Vanya couldn't help but be bothered by the answers she was receiving from the angel, at least...in regards to Amadorine. How well did the Faunness really know this male? Did she know all the things that he was revealing to the Seer? His true feelings regarding family and his history? The apparent ease with which he seemed willing to push them all aside? Perhaps it was more personal than it should be...but she was entertaining the thought that perhaps she should have a talk with Amadorine before any rash actions were taken.
Afterall, though she expressed otherwise, she knew very well that there was one way at least that a soul-bond could be created between Faun and Angels.
"You have blood relations among them, yet you feel no loyalty to your kind. Tell me, Thom," she stated bluntly, leaning forward over the table. "What exactly does it take to earn your loyalty then? I've heard no reason as of yet that we have to trust you. You have repeatedly declared your loyalty and love for Amadorine, but what does that have to do with any of this? Love for another is fine in itself, but it is not an acceptable reason to make such an important life decision. Besides, it still does not explain why you feel the need to claim loyalty to the Tree. You know nothing of us, nothing of our beliefs, by your own admission that you would need to learn of them afterwards! Why are you so eager to leap in and make promises that you may not be able to keep? Why do you feel driven to do such a thing? I have yet to hear a reason WHY you feel the need to swear to serve the Tree! And please don't tell me 'because I love her' again, because that doesn't tell me anything. WHY would that be important? Could you not love her elsewhere?"
She'd begun to rise from her seat as her voice gained volume and energy. She seemed to catch herself now, and while not backing down, took a deep, calming breath, and straightened her skirt while being seated again. "Thom," she started again in a more even tone. "I think the question I'm coming to here is, why do you wish to serve the Tree? Do you truly wish only to serve the Tree, to give your energy and your life if called for, when you do not even know or understand our ways? Or are you seeking only our protection from other forces? Or instead, do you actually harbor some sort of hatred towards your own people, so much so, that you'd actively set out to spite them by joining us instead? What is your reasoning, Thom? Are you here today out of faith, cowardice, or hatred? If there is another reason, please enlighten me."
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Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2013 7:11 pm
Thom started to feel mildly frustrated, it felt like nothing he said was good enough for this faun. Yes his feelings for Ama played a large role in his decision, but that wasn't all that he'd ever account towards his decision. "I care for my sons but only really in the way that they are part of me as I am their father. But I wouldn't know know most of them from the next pae. I will defend myself even if they attack me. Truly if they are going to attack me why should I not attack back" His voice almost seemed to have a determined edge to it, he didn't know what she wanted to hear nor what would convince her.
"I don't feel anything for the angels around me, I don't feel love, I don't feel hatred, nothing. I don't know what it is you need to hear from me." He paused, didn't move from sitting as she had. "Lady Vanya, this island, has changed so much in the time I was away and the time I was in the Hall of Lost Souls. Before Ama woke me the last thing I remember the island was floating up in the clouds. The home that once upon a time I had shared with Jazz is gone, even my home before the hall is not what it was. I don't know where Kaelin had settled when she returned to the island with Amandil and Melanion. I wouldn't even know where to start looking for the boys, they could be in the city.." he motions in the general direction of the city "or a forest, the mountains, heck for all I know they could have left the island again. I know I wouldn't get the answers about it from Jazz, she pointedly pretended I didnt exist the only time I've seen her. I don't know why Kaelin left our home off the isle, just that she left. I've been to a bunch of gatherings around the island, I've never seen Kaelin at them, nor my siblings nor my parents, aunts, uncles, noone I once knew and cared for. Everyone has changed, everything around me has changed, nothing is the same. I'm not even the same pae I once was, I'm determined not to repeat my past ever again."
"What I know of the Tree I've heard from Ama, and I know there is stuff I don't know I won't deny that. Yes I can love Ama without a fealty to the Tree, this is also true, but one thing I know Mi'lady. The one thing I've had left in my life is Ama and our two girls. It has been more seasons I can count that I've felt I belong anywhere, that I had any purpose besides just living. I can't sit here and promise I'll be the finest warrior around but I know how to live off the land, and protect my home." He sighed softly "If you or Laisidhiel herself don't feel I deserve a chance to be loyal to the tree or the faun people, there is not a whole lot I can do. But honestly I hope I can get the chance to prove myself."
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Posted: Sat Jul 20, 2013 8:32 pm
Though he'd done exactly as she'd just told him not to, Vanya managed to stifle the irritation she felt at his answer; or lack thereof, as the case may be. She kept her tone even, shaking her head. "Thom, we are not here to question your relationship with Amadorine," she started, thinking privately to herself about her own misgivings. "That has never been the issue here. I am here to see if you are a threat to our people," she said bluntly at last. "You have repeatedly expressed your loyalty to her, but you have given me no reason to think that you feel the same about the Faun people, nor have you given me any reason that you would."
"I have asked why you, and you personally wish to join the servants of Laisidhiel. Your answer has been over and over again, 'Because I love Amadorine." That's nice, but it's not an answer to the question that I asked. It's as if I asked why the river flows to the sea and you answered 'because the sky is blue.' I don't care if it's true, it's not an answer to the question that was asked. You yourself told me that you could love her elsewhere, but never gave me a reason WHY it had to be here, within Laisidhiel."
She quieted, folding her hands on the table. "From the sound of it, Thom, you have been through many changes through the years. It can be disconcerting, I'm sure. However, it means that you also have nothing to offer as proof of your loyalty to anything or anyone. You are casting aside your own ties to family, friends, and your own people. What then remains as anything you can offer to us as a single example of when you have ever remained loyal to any person or cause in the past?"
"Perhaps you feel set adrift," she offered, trying to understand as well. "Alone and without connection. Perhaps Amadorine has helped; I don't know. Perhaps the idea was accepted only because you wished connection with something. It doesn't make this the best option for you; only the first available one to reach for. As I said, that doesn't make it the right one."
"This is the last time I will ask this. I will phrase it differently so that perhaps you will understand where I am coming from. IF you were allowed to join the servants of Laisidhiel, and if, spirits forbid, something were to happen to Amadorine...what reason then would you have to stay loyal to the Faun?" Or would he simply turn on them as quickly as he had the angels, Vanya wondered, listening attentively for his answer.
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Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 6:15 pm
Thom was silent for a time, he stared at the table's surface ahead of him. This wasn't exactly going as he'd hoped. He felt uneasy and worried, what if the result was negative, would Ama truly stay true to her word? He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes thinking, not for her not but for the situation at hand, looking inside himself. It was true he'd really mainly started to consider what he was doing because she asked him, but there had to be more, there had to be a feeling he didn't feel wrong inside his soul for what he was doing.
He didn't open his eyes when he did start talking, his voice was quiet, his words slow and thoughtful at first though growing with determination with everything he said. "Milady, I want a chance, a chance to prove myself that I am who I am. At the moment I feel as an outcast to most of whom I meet even my own kind. I want to prove I have grown and can make and keep a commitment." he opened his eyes again looking directly towards the Seer, "Given the opportunity I am sure I can succeed in anything I put my mind and heart to. I want to give my loyalty cause it feels right inside me, inside my soul. I don't come here with hesitations inside of me, if I couldn't hold true to what I'm saying, to what I'm feeling, I wouldn't have come here today. I know what I'm asking is out of the norm I'm not going to deny this, but Milady I feel like there's some place for me in this world, that there was a reason the spirits of lost souls allowed my return. And Milady, there was plenty of statues around me and plenty of smaller piles of rubble like what remained of where I had been, others had to have been woken before me, but it took a faun to bring me back, not an angel, demon or fae which is all the pae I knew of.... a faun... There had to be a reason for that, perhaps it was chance that it happened that way. I would rather look at it as fate, a sign of what direction my life should go."
He paused taking another breath since he'd been saying so much he really needed one. "If it's fate or a sign which is what I think it was, then that's all the reason I need to give my loyalty and to hold fast to my promise regardless what should happen in the future. Because quite honestly I haven't been looking for anything, not a reason or an excuse. The reasons seem to find me, and what other reasons should I need then to follow what feels right inside my soul."
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Posted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 8:37 pm
Vanya was silent when the Pae finished speaking, processing his words, as well as considering her own carefully. She gave no sign of her thoughts outwardly, only nodded once, calmly, before speaking.
"Very well. I have heard your reasons, Thom of the Angels. But, before I give my final opinion on our meeting, there is one final thing. You see, I'm not the only member of the Faun Circle here today. Another has also heard your words." Vanya did not move, only flicked one of her ears up and back towards where Gulliver stood.
"Sir Gulliver? What are your thoughts on what you've heard here today?" The Captain of the Rangers had been rather quiet. She knew he was there to keep a protective eye on her, but was there another reason he'd been sent here today? While the final decision lay with the Seer, there was no reason she could not discuss such matters with another of the Circle and take his opinion into account.
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Posted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 10:38 pm
Thom nodded listening to the Seer's words, then his gaze moved towards the faun who had silently stood to one side with the bow slung over his shoulders during this whole happening.
"Lady Vanya, while I do not have the same kind of insight you have in this matter, this angel seems to have some determination in him. His posturing and movements as I have seen them don't seem like those of a liar." Gulliver stepped forward towards his Seer. Most of Gulliver's rangers that were hidden in the bushes were still on guard but more relaxed at the moment. "It sounds like this angel has had a pretty strange life compared to the rest of us."
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Posted: Sat Aug 17, 2013 1:31 am
Strange, yes, but no less difficult than some of our lives have been, she thought to herself, but did not voice the words. This wasn't a contest to argue who had had a harder life. She wasn't sure how to take the Captain's words. Was he...defending this Blood Pae? How could he?
She reminded herself that not all of the Circle were witness to the memories that she had seen. Apparently, Gulliver had not been pressed by Earthmother to explore his own history as of yet. While this thought puzzled her, it would explain why he did not hold the same view of Blood Pae that she and the Chieftain held. This would need to be remedied in the coming days. If they were to be effective leaders and counselors, then they would need knowledge in order to draw wisdom. Knowledge of one's own past life included.
That could be addressed at a later time.
Gulliver could only offer her what she could not herself measure: his physical responses to her questions. Taking a deep breath to compose her thoughts, Vanya prepared to give her verdict. "Determination is all good and well," she began. "But it is not trust. It is not proof of loyalty. You are asking us to take you, a stranger, on your word that you are trustworthy, when you have no evidence of such in the past. Perhaps you are the victim of circumstances beyond your control. This is a shame, but we cannot make exceptions for this reason. Perhaps with more time, you may find something else that you have devoted yourself to, something that you can offer as proof..."
The Seer trailed off, frowning and her ear making that same odd twitching motion, as if focusing on something behind her. Some distance away, given the focus she was maintaining. She was silent, as if having a private argument...one that she seemed to lose, shaking her head and sighing softly, she dropped her head. After another moment, she spoke again. "I am not one to deny others second chances. I am in no place to do that. However, I was about to ask you to postpone your request for a future time when you might have more proof of loyalty to offer us." She paused, looking up and seeming to meet Thom's gaze with hers, though her eyes were vacant. "It seems Laisidhiel herself has other ideas."
"I cannot read the mind of Laisidhiel; I can only serve as her voice when she asks," the Seer continued. "But it seems that what you are asking for is a chance. A chance to prove yourself, to prove that you are not the Pae you once were. A chance to prove that your determination is as strong as you say, and that through it, you can show your loyalty to Laisidhiel to be absolute. In that case, a chance is exactly what you will be offered."
She hesitated before continuing, seeming uncomfortable with what she was being asked to say next. "Such a chance...does not come without cost. And such a cost is no guarantee of your success or approval in the end. It is an initial display of your determination, the first step of swearing loyalty to the Tree. Sacrifice of one's self, sacrifice of what makes a Blood Pae what they are, to show that they truly wish to leave their kind behind, to swear with those who serve the Tree and die for her and her people if necessary. To leave behind their dark past, to leave behind the stigma of what they once were, to sever their tie with those who once sought to destroy us all. Then, and only then, will you be given a challenge to prove your loyalty. Your success in this trial will depend on whether or not the Tree accepts you in the end."
"Before you can even learn of this trial, you must offer this sacrifice. The price is steep, and there is no shame in walking away if you have any doubts that this is what you must do," she paused, for the first time, something like pity crossing her face. Then it was gone again, behind the mask of protocol. "Laisidhiel asks that you give up what marks you as a Blood Pae'il, the very symbol of what you are."
"Your wings."
***** ((STAFF NOTE: This sacrifice and trial to follow are not unique to Thom. Any pure Blood Pae'il attempting to join the Elementals will be asked to make the same choice, as the disconnect between the two types is so great that they must give up what they are completely to even attempt to join the other faction. It is no guarantee of success, and yet, it will be obvious to their own kind that they attempted to change sides, even if they fail. However, if they beat the odds and are accepted by their new faction, perhaps they will be blessed for their effort, devotion, and sacrifice... Make your decisions carefully, Pae'il.))
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Posted: Sat Aug 17, 2013 2:44 am
Gulliver crossed his arms, he heard the Seer's words he knew she spoke on behalf Laisidhiel herself. Was the Great Tree really going to give this blood pae a chance? He'd come with Vanya not only to make sure her safety was intact but to see this blood pae turned away. He never thought that the Great Tree would actually entertain the idea of what the blood pae wanted. More then a little of him wanted the angel in front of them to fail, or say no and just walk away, and to not return. What if this angel actually went through with this, what if he succeeded, he didn't think he'd ever not have at least one ranger keeping tabs on him.
---
Thom's eyes were fixated on the vacant eyes of the Seer, he felt his heart drop a couple notches hearing that she was going to ask him to postpone his request, but just as as he was going to say something he heard her continue and he felt a glimmer of hope. He nodded feeling a bit better about the situation, he listened to everything he was told, he noted the male faun's not so happy looking stance but tried not to let it bother him.
He was feeling hopeful, at least he was being given a chance.... Then he heard the sacrifice he was being told he'd have to make and he paled a couple notches. One of his hands reached behind him and he ran his finger along the edge of a feather. His wings, the thought had never occurred to him that he'd ever be without wings in his life. But if he was going to follow through with this he had to do it. Gathering what courage he still had inside him he gulped slightly then sat up straighter, pulling his hand away from the wing and resting it on the table.
"Yes Lady Vanya, I understand. Nothing comes without sacrifice of some kind." He licked at his lips before continuing, "I thank Laisidhiel for this opportunity and I willingly give up the part of me that is requested. Please take my wings, and I hope I can prove myself to you, and to Laisidhiel."
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Posted: Thu Aug 29, 2013 2:37 pm
A flicker of fear...of doubt perhaps? Or merely surprise and a sudden comprehension of the gravity of the situation? Whatever it was, the Angel seemed to push past it and gave his answer. Vanya nodded slowly, though inside she felt sickened. Having let her mind stray while waiting on an answer, she'd briefly questioned what she would do if asked to give up everything she was and sever herself from Laisidhiel. The result had been physical illness, her stomach seeming to fold in on itself from anxiety. Perhaps it was because her connection to Laisidhiel now ran so deeply...but she could not even entertain the thought of what it would be like to be disconnected now.
Suppressing her own wandering thoughts, she returned to the moment. "Very well, Thom of the Angels. Your willing sacrifice has been noted. While I will not have a direct hand in this process, I will attempt what I can with my knowledge to produce a sleeping draught and something to numb the physical pain to come. You will be given time to recover before your trial is to begin, then notified via messenger with your task. We will not be seen as setting you up to fail; you will recover your strength first and allow the pain to dull, then be given your task. At that point, it is up to you whether you succeed or fail."
She paused before standing and inclining her head lightly. "May the Earth protect you in your sacrifice," she offered quietly.***** ((Thom will receive his trial to follow in a Notice. In the meantime, though it will not be played out explicitly, his sacrifice will take place, his wings will be physically removed, and he will be sent/taken to his home to recover from his loss.))
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