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 Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 5:23 pm
I told one of my best friends in confidence that I was in fact gay. he was cool with it and we're still total bros.
Here's the thing.
He told other people.
Without telling me.
That is not right.
When someone tells you something in confidence, ESPECIALLY their sexuality, you do not tell ANYONE without their permission. It doesn't matter if you think the person will be a-okay with it. It's none of their business, they told you, not them, and if they wanted others to know they would have told them.
My friend told some other people. While, I never said he couldn't it should have been obvious I didn't want people to know when I was even struggling to tell him! Now these people, who some of them I rarely even TALK to know my sexuality. They now act as if I am some sort of plague, and must be avoided or else... I dunno I'll try to have sex with them? Doesn't help that it seems like they're spreading it around.
I am extremely angry with my "friend" and have been avoiding him for a while. I don't think he foresaw how much this would hurt me, and he didn't seem to know he wasn't allowed tell anyone else but... Still.
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 6:36 pm
My best advice would be to explain to your friend how you feel, why you feel that way, and then continue on as normal.
You were the same person before coming out and you are the same person now.
The fact that people know you're gay doesn't change who you are.
If people see you and your friend back to normal then I'm sure they'll worry less about you and your sexuality.
Furthermore, the less of a deal you make your being gay the less reason anyone else has of making an issue of it.
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 6:41 pm
yeah that above is the best advice I could come up with too.
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 10:53 pm
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Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 5:33 am
Der Fluch des Pharao My best advice would be to explain to your friend how you feel, why you feel that way, and then continue on as normal.
You were the same person before coming out and you are the same person now.
The fact that people know you're gay doesn't change who you are.
If people see you and your friend back to normal then I'm sure they'll worry less about you and your sexuality.
Furthermore, the less of a deal you make your being gay the less reason anyone else has of making an issue of it. this also your friend may not have known that you shouldnt just out peple like that. sit him down and explain it to him. if he keeps being a d**k then break off the friendship
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Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 7:44 am
Instead of avoiding him, you ought to confront him about it. Let him know that you told him this and didn't want the world to know. If you told him not to tell, he shouldn't have told.
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Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 9:22 am
well in addition to telling him how that upset you...ask him if he was you how he would feel
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Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2013 4:42 pm
I don't think he meant for it to hurt you. If you didn't mention anything about it when you told him, he probably thought it was OK. He might have told people about it because he was proud to have a friend who was gay.
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Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 7:24 pm
You had told him to keep it a secret, did you not? And he clearly told the wrong people. This person violated your trust. I would have departed from this person immediately, were I you, but the decision is yours.
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Posted: Tue Mar 26, 2013 8:02 pm
Alright. This is what advice that I can give you. The best way to smooth things over as far as these people who now know about you is to act more comfortable with yourself than you ever have before. If you walk up on someone making fun of you, nod your head in acknowledgment give them the most beautiful smile you can muster and then walk on by as if you were pleased to hear your name on their lips. D: Even if you don't feel comfortable I've found that If you fake confidence long enough sometimes it becomes real.
Your friend is a tough one....he knew not to tell this to everyone. But let's be honest with ourselves. It's really hard to keep a secret. Any secret no matter what it is. I can't say he was in the right. Evaluate weather or not he's got enough redeeming qualities for you to still hang with.
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