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 Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:35 am
Ok so I looked to see if we had one before making this but I couldn't find one so I don't think we have one. Hopefully we don't...
I love jokes and lately I've read a lot since I haven't moved too terribly much off the couch so I thought I'd share some. I'll start with one please add a joke if you know or find a funny one!
My all time favorite text: I'll be there in 5 mins. If not please re-read this.
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Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 9:40 am
You had one on your facebook a while back about three women who talked about their boyfriend's/affair partners/husbands reactions to kinky leather fetishwear. That was really funny. You should repost it, here.
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Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 9:48 am
Here is the one Josh requested.
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.
We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went.
My engaged friend:
The other night my boyfriend came over and found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, ''You are the woman of my dreams.. I love you." Then we made love all night long.
The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.
Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the
door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Batman?"
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Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 6:39 pm
Nobody has posted on this for awhile so I'm going again.
"Mommy! There's a monster under my bed!"
"That's silly there's no such thing as mo....OH GOD IT'S TEARING MY ARM OFF! Kidding. He only eats kids. Goodnight."
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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:28 am
I hate weddings because old people always poke you and say "You're next" so I started doing the same thing to them at funerals!
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 5:27 pm
Ummm whoever has my voodoo doll will you please scratch between it's butt cheeks...I'm in public.
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Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2013 5:46 pm
These are hilarious!
Here's mine:
This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks. One in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the Bartender.
The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. They chat for about 30 minutes before the guy with the ducks has to go to the restroom. The ducks are left on the bar.
The bartender is alone with the ducks. There is an awkward silence. The Bartender decides to try to make some conversation. "What's your name?" he says to the first duck.
"Huey," said the first duck.
"How's your day been, Huey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day."
"Oh. That's nice," says the Bartender.
Then he says to the second duck, "Hi. And what's your name?"
"Dewey," came the answer.
"So how's your day been, Dewey?"
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance another day I would do the same again."
So the Bartender turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie."
"No," growls the third duck, "My name is Puddles. And don't ask about my damn day."
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2013 9:38 am
These are all class biggrin
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Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2013 12:23 pm
Sinful Nana These are hilarious! Here's mine: This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks. One in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the Bartender. The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. They chat for about 30 minutes before the guy with the ducks has to go to the restroom. The ducks are left on the bar. The bartender is alone with the ducks. There is an awkward silence. The Bartender decides to try to make some conversation. "What's your name?" he says to the first duck. "Huey," said the first duck. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day." "Oh. That's nice," says the Bartender. Then he says to the second duck, "Hi. And what's your name?" "Dewey," came the answer. "So how's your day been, Dewey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance another day I would do the same again." So the Bartender turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie." "No," growls the third duck, "My name is Puddles. And don't ask about my damn day." WHY CAN'T I TIP THIS!!!?
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 2:55 am
Seven dwarves in a bed feeling happy.
Happy got up and felt Grumpy.
Grumpy ran away.
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 5:57 am
HaHaHa those are great!
My husband is mexican so I tend to come across a lot of funny mexican jokes. Here are 2 that I love.
U.S. Border Patrol:
Putting the panic in Hispanic.
The other one is:
I was watching the news the other day and a story came on about a small mexican home burning down... Luckily all 386 occupants were ok.
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 8:06 pm
If Steve Jobs brought macs into the world, Wouldn't that make him the mac daddy?
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