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 Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 7:34 pm
Ok I seem to go through phases of "omg this will be the best idea ever I'm so excited I can't wait" and "omg I'm terrified".
I told Tom about how I'm not working at Legoland this summer and he replies "Does this mean we can move in together sooner?"
And idk why but that just really triggered some real anxiety about the whole thing. So I replied along the lines of it being too expensive to live in London more than I have to so I still planned to move in approximately 2 weeks before university starts.
He replies, "I know it's not viable but a man can dream."
Wow now I feel a little bad for not seeming as excited as he is...
I don't know why, I just started panicking. About little things. Like omg he's going to see me shave my legs and know when I poop. gonk I mean there's literally 2 rooms in our apartment, we are always going to see each other. Omg he's going to see all my internet browsing if he just looks over (we're sharing a desk) and damnit I hate when people watch me even if I'm not doing anything weird. Omg he has earlier lectures than me I'm going to get woken up early every single day (we're sharing a single bed and I'm a light sleeper...).
Then I panic about bigger things like omg what does this mean in the long term for our relationship? Like where are we going with this? Goddamn friends keep joking about marriage. Apparently it's not just my friends either but Tom's friends also persistently tell him to marry me. FUUUU IT'S NOT FUNNY I'M STILL YOUNG WHAT IS THIS. D:
I hate how I over think and worry about everything. And I know I'm ready to move in, I'm happy to move in, I want to move in. I'm just not sure how to shut up my anxiety. Someone who's lived with/living with an SO, tell me this kind of cold feet is normal...
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 7:51 pm
I was a good little christian girl who dared not move in until marriage, but (barring the internet because WTF was that in 1996?) I had the same anxieties. I almost called the wedding off a few times because of it.
The big thing I see is SINGLE BED? Dude, there are two of you. Get a bigger bed or get a matress for on the floor. That's not going to be fun for long.
The rest is manageable. You will both figure out your niche. You will both determine what makes you each comfortable and when you need your own space.
This does not mean marriage. It's a temporary situation that can be made permanent at a later date if and only if you choose.
Good luck!
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 1:40 am
I basically lived with Kegan for the first three months of our relationship, occasionally going back to my apartment to retrieve one thing or another. She had a single futon on the floor. So uncomfortable, but we made it work more often than not. However, I have a full bed and we both sleep more comfortably on that...
Not to say it's not nerve-wracking, but it's not that different. Not in my opinion. If you spend a lot of time together, it's pretty much the same. I don't necessarily think Tom'll care about when you shave your legs, or what you do on your computer, or when you poop. :B
Chillax, ladybro. Take it one step at a time and you'll be FINE. Godspeed.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 5:21 am
Arianah I was a good little christian girl who dared not move in until marriage, but (barring the internet because WTF was that in 1996?) I had the same anxieties. I almost called the wedding off a few times because of it. The big thing I see is SINGLE BED? Dude, there are two of you. Get a bigger bed or get a matress for on the floor. That's not going to be fun for long. The rest is manageable. You will both figure out your niche. You will both determine what makes you each comfortable and when you need your own space. This does not mean marriage. It's a temporary situation that can be made permanent at a later date if and only if you choose. Good luck! We shared a single bed all year last year. The sofa is a pull out double mattress though, so I think if the bed situation gets untenable, we'll switch to that. The sofa bed has the advantage of more space but it's rather less comfy.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 7:50 am
P.S. He poops sometimes too.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 8:38 am
Stephen and I didn't move in together until we had been dating for two years, so idk maybe that's why I wasn't anxious about it. I think worrying is pretty normal, though. But if you want to continue the relationship don't let your anxieties get in the way of moving forward.
Also, lol I remember when I was so scared to even fart in front of Stephen, as well as him knowing when I pooped, lol. You know he's not going to care and you'll get over it. razz
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 10:17 am
me and the bf spent almost a week together in a hotel, so we were joking that evetually we'd have to fart around each other and stuff.
if you make it seem kinda jokey, it always seems to take the sort of stress/anexity of it off.
i'd def be super nervous about moving in with a bf though.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 12:41 pm
Heh well at least we're past the farting around each stage.
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Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 9:02 am
It's been almost five years and Rachel and I are still aren't living together.
Hopefully going to fix that soon'ish though.
If you don't want him knowing when you poop, just spend twenty minutes in the bathroom everytime you go in there and he's around.
Gotta take a wiz?
Spend twenty minutes in there.
ALL THE TIME
You'll have him convinced you s**t like, fifteen times a day.
When you're actually pooping though, do it in like record speed, two minutes tops.
Problem solved, he'll never know when you're pooping.
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Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 1:25 pm
This is my life right now.
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Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2012 9:50 am
None of that stuff freaked me out. What freaked me out was giving up my solitude.
I still get shitty if I don't get alone time.
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Posted: Fri Aug 10, 2012 2:11 pm
I think sharing a room for a year with someone has made me cope with a lack of solitude. I actually get quite antsy if I'm alone for too long without any social interaction (although skype/IMing is an ok substitute for face-to-face time).
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