(Please note that this Poem and all others preceeding and following it (except one) were written between the ages of 13 and 14, 7-8 years ago.)

Living a Lie

I've always told lies to myself.
The others, too.
Why?
Simply because they hide the truth of what I see
What I do
What I am.
I use lies as a shield.
A weapon..
A disguise.
To cover up my deeds
My thoughts
Myself

Could I say I am living a lie?
Perhaps.
Just to look at what I have done
Would prove I am just a faint ghost.
One wrong move
I would be extinguished forever
I have only lies to survive

A dishonest way of living, you say.
Do you think I care?
Do you think it matters to me,
How I live, as long as I stay alive?
Fool.
You know nothing about it.
The world is not as pure as you think.
Not as full of good deeds as you have been told.

The world is not kind, decent, noble or ethical.
It is not tolerant, considerate, worthy or generous.
It is cold, harsh and cruel.
Survival of the fittest.
And I'll do anything to survive.