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 Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:09 pm
Hello, smile My name is Shawna. (Nickname)
Anyway, I have a question that I want to ask.
I'm apart of a group at school called Connections. Its a LGBT group(I'm straight, most of my bestfriends are Bi so I joined it with them for support) Anyway, a few weeks back, at a meeting we talked about what lables someone as being gay besides the just liking the same the gender. Cause someone can just doing and someone says "That's Gay."
Here's my question. Why is it that when a girl "experiment" with another female and people say its okay and she can go back to being straight, but as soon as a guy does it, he's labled gay right off the back?
I got answer for this from my English class too, but non of them made sense. People just kept saying "He's just gay" with no reason why.
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:31 pm
I don't know why, there are many double standards in the world that doesn't seem fair or make sense.
I think a big part of it has to do with how movies and TV portray people. Many seem to think two girls are hot as movies usually show them is more sexy and exciting way than romantic and loving way or that they would be willing to have threesomes for some reason because of how TV tends to portray the. A lot of it is based off fantasy then reality.
It's like the stereotypes that bisexuals are sluts or can't be in a committed relationship or that pansexuals would sleep with anyone and are desperate, which we know it isn't true for many bi and pansexual. I know I can't be a slut or desperate as I not sleeping with anyone or dating anyone and not in a hurry to do so.
That is just my guess is and what I noticed.
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 6:10 pm
I agree with Playboy. It probably has something to do with all these double standards. I don't know why people do that but maybe they are just influenced by everything that is around them. Also people try to justify experimenting if they know or don't know you or like or don't like you. Like for example, if I was to go tell everyone that I was experimenting, my friends would just shake it off and say just that where as people I don't know or the people that can't stand me will quickly say that i'm a lesbian. As for guy's just experimenting, I don't really know why there is a difference but I think it is rather stupid though.
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 6:13 pm
It's a double standard.
I have an analogy that I use often.
If you eat a carrot, it doesn't mean you're a vegetarian.
A guy could have sex with another guy and not be gay.
You're only gay if what you desire in your heart are those of the same sex.
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 7:50 pm
RavennaGrimoire It's a double standard. I have an analogy that I use often. If you eat a carrot, it doesn't mean you're a vegetarian. A guy could have sex with another guy and not be gay. You're only gay if what you desire in your heart are those of the same sex. XD, on that note: If a key can open a lot of locks, then it's a great key. But if a lock can be opened by a lot of keys, then it's shitty lock. I do agree that these double standards make no sense.
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 8:06 pm
Lol love the lock bit XD
Anyways something else occured to me as well, women are....well a lot if things, point being most are more willing to experiment and accept others while normally it's harder for a man to do something like that. Course this lityle bit is caused/brings a lot of other problems like men's testosterone and for some reason people believing women are slutty.
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 8:54 pm
RavennaGrimoire It's a double standard. I have an analogy that I use often. If you eat a carrot, it doesn't mean you're a vegetarian. A guy could have sex with another guy and not be gay. You're only gay if what you desire in your heart are those of the same sex. I agree with this statement. I would like to add to this that it's a stereotype that people have; women are expected/seen as trash while men are expected/seen as tough and dominant. It's pitiful; when we act out of these roles that society puts us in, we're treated like trash! Wow! As for experimenting, I am usually against it unless you are sure you feel that way for another person to have sexual relations with them.
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Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 11:18 am
[quote="Shadow Ra Warrior"
I agree with this statement. I would like to add to this that it's a stereotype that people have; women are expected/seen as trash while men are expected/seen as tough and dominant. It's pitiful; when we act out of these roles that society puts us in, we're treated like trash! Wow!
As for experimenting, I am usually against it unless you are sure you feel that way for another person to have sexual relations with them.
Society is still very male oriented.
A girl can cut her hair short, wear boots and jeans and just wear boys clothes in general (not talking about butch lesbians) and society is fine with it,
but a boy can put on make up, and wear women's clothing and he's immediately a sissy, or a freak.
Why? Because women are still seen as less than men.
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Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 1:00 pm
Thats the same thing that happen to womans, If they sleep/have sex with more than 2 guys, shes a whore, if a guy do it, thats ok. I dont get it....
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Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 1:09 pm
Please don't take this as my beliefs, but I think I have an answer for the original question.
Men are strong and dominate and the leaders of their family. Once they make a decision they must stay to it. They are the rocks and moral centers. A guy should not have to experiment, he should just know because he is a man.
Women are weak and require the guidance of a man. As they are so whimsical, it is obvious that they would seek to try things even if they don't need to. Hence a woman is only going about her fancy until she can be reigned in and taught the proper way.
At least that is what stereotypes (which still affect our judgement) would have us believe. Granted, I doubt that hardly anyone sees it this archaically or simply, but these were beliefs in the Renaissance and even promoted by Freud, and so it will take a long time for these notions to be completely eradicated from the human psyche. Hence this is the way many people think without them being able to say that this is how they think.
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The Bodacious Soul Reaper
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Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 9:43 pm
I agree as well, yet I think society has betrayed it as this (I disagree with this though) ; If you see a female kiss another female on the cheek, you think "Oh their friends." But if you saw a man and a man kiss each other on the cheek, is the first thought that comes to your mind that their friends? And most people nowadays would go on ahead and assume they're gay, rather than thinking they might be foreign, or are formal and greet people that way.
I don't know how, but society has gotten so judgmental by the smallest things people do nowadays.
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 10:20 am
Sorry I didn't see the notice about people posting.
Thank you all for giving your veiws on this subject. Its really makes it clear how backwards this world is in more ways than one. My first answer for my own question was because of perverted men, but yet I didn't even favor that answer so I had to ask.
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 1:37 pm
it bugs the hell out of me. i used to date a bisexual guy and a few of my friends kept telling me he was gay because he also liked men. i just found it so damn offensive since im also bi.
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