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 Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 6:51 am
When Nate said goodbye
I was so distraught
I turned my heart to Ice and said before I love again I'll rot
Two years went by
and I was fine
All was well till he showed up
and I lost my heart again
Tyler, what a name
I could not resist from the moment he said mine
my icy heart melted and there was hope for me
till she showed up and I was snowed under my fantacies
he looks at her
like I look at him
This is where I see
he never really noticed me.
As I stare into the blinding snow
all I hear are Nate's cold words
echoing through the woods
a feeling like the world is crumbling has taken over me.
As I stare into the storm I think upon the years when things were fine
and weep icy tears
As I look I see a world so cold
even Tyler can't reach me there.
And so I walk into the snow
that loveless cold embrace.
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:23 pm
Nice! I like it, especially the ongoing theme of cold/snow/ice (Is that a theme, or a motif? Sorry, I should probably pay more attention in English class). The only thing you might want to change is "fantacies" to "fantasies." smile
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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 1:13 pm
Motif, I think...so many people use them interchangeably now, though, it gets confusing.
Anyway, about the actual post:
really all I can say is that it is very, very familiar. In a sad way but in a way that means that it was very well done. Kudos.
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Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 4:23 am
purpledino372 Nice! I like it, especially the ongoing theme of cold/snow/ice (Is that a theme, or a motif? Sorry, I should probably pay more attention in English class). The only thing you might want to change is "fantacies" to "fantasies." smile Thank you so much for your feedback heart and, yes cold is a motif. Paying attention in English class is always a plus. blaugh
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