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 Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 2:49 pm
Table of Contents • Profile .................................................. Post One
• Reserved .............................................. Post Two
• Post Format .......................................... Post Three
• Divider .................................................. Post Four
• Story Update One ................................... Post Five
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 2:50 pm
xx❖ xxxxxxxxxx P є r ѕ σ η α ℓ_•_Ð α т α xxx  ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ G e n e r a l ▬▬▬ ◊ Name: Amy Miyzawa
◊ Alias: Red, Ms. Matchstick
◊ Age: Seventeen
◊ Gender: Female
◊ Love Interest: None
◊ Hobbies: Baji Quan, being with friends, poetry, shopping, practicing with bokken, tennis
◊ Motto: "I'll let my emotions feed the flames."
◊ Occupation: Student
◊ Appearance: Amy is a young woman standing at five feet and four inches. Her body figure is slightly comparable to an hour glass. She weighs in at about hundred to a hundred three pounds. Her hair is a color is a mixture of a light pink and a murky grey color; which often helps her stand out amongst a crowd and her eyes are a dark blue color. Her skin is a pale color and soft to the touch. She usually wears a long sleeved white button up shirt that is almost always un-tucked. She usually has her top two buttons, unbuttoned revealing her white marina top which she wears under her shirt at all times. Her opened shirt also reveals a small jade pendent, held around her neck by a red string. The pendent was given to her by her mother as a birthday gift so she tends to get a little touchy when people reach for it. She wheres a short plaid skirt that is mainly red with black stripes. For foot where it isn't strange to see Amy wearing long black stockings that reach up to her thighs or even a pair of loose fitting socks; both are often accompanied by a pair of dress shoes, sneakers, or sandals.
◊ Personality: Amy has a very normal personality; she is very outgoing and hardly lets anything break her usual happy mood. She is very intelligent but doesn't boast about a it. She gets sad from time to time, but it usually doesn't take much to cheer her up unless it was something really big that put her into her slump to begin with. She is usually kind with everyone, but when she snaps it can become incredible unfriendly. Although she is friendly Amy isn't well known for giving second chance and when she does give a small chance it is usually considers a blessing. Much like her grandfather, Amy believes that a child should never be put in harms way regardless of reason. Doing this often set Amy off in away that nothing else can. When this happen Amy's personality becomes darker and ruthless and she will stop at nothing to make sure the child will be returned unharmed.
◊ Biography: Amy is a native of Japan; born and raised in Karakura town. Amy's mother once dreamed of going to America; in which she would have a female child who she would name Amy. Although she wasn't able to go to America she decided to name her daughter Amy hoping that one day she would achieve the goals that she couldn't. As a child Amy always seemed to be more acute then the other children which often gave her the edge she need. She was raised next to a small shrine that her family would often spend there time. Coming from a spiritual family Amy always believe in the afterlife, but it was always a loose belief, until she saw her first ghost at the age of five. At first Amy believe she was a normal person and her parents believing that this girl was simply imaginary friend. But after a while, her parents began to notice things that seemed unusual and soon after they noticed they had Amy undergo a physic evaluation. Her mother believe that she could see ghost, but her father believe that something was wrong. After passing the test Amy began to hide the fact that she could see them when around family and friends for fear of being sent to a psychiatric hospital. This is when Amy began to spend most of her time around her grandfathers katana. As a child Amy was often told stories about her grandfather and the reasons why this sword was so special to this family. Even though her grandfather didn't live in the era of feudal Japan; he lived his life by the strict code of Bushido and believe that honor was the most important thing in this world, far more precious then any metal, silver or gold. It was a usual thing to see him traveling the town with his katana hidden in a bag. Along with his katana he would carry a steel lighter with the Japanese symbol for honor on it. This lighter was special; the flames would only be created if the holder had a higher spiritual presser then a regular human. Once her grandfather died, they followed his will to a tee. He was cremated and his sword as well as the steel casing of his lighter was completely shatter, then repaired after embedding his ashes into the steel of the sword; but not all of the ashes were put into the sword. The casing of the steel lighter was also shattered then repaired after embedding his ashes. Along with this his lighter was said to be left with his sword. But along with this there was something else, that only Amy was able to see; a substitute soul reaper badge. She never knew what is was would never bother it or even mention it to others in her family. On her grandfathers birthday, her family would line up and attempt a create a flame with the lighter as away to honor him. To the surprise of everyone Amy was the only one who could create a fire with the lighter. Amy was told to keep the lighter because with it her grandfather's spirit would always be with her. ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ S k i l l s ▬▬▬ ◊ Attributes:
Swift Step: Although Amy isn't as strong as some others she is fast and accurate. This is something she has built up over time not only from small practice sessions with her bokken, but also for her playing on the school tennis team. Her speed is heavily increased.
Spiritual Transcendence: Allows Amy to see, hear and interact with things that normal humans perceive or even understand. This is an ability that Amy was born with and something she hasn't ever understood as well as something she avoids talking about when with others. She also tries not to interact with them when she is around family or friends for obvious reasons. [ Soul Reapers, Arrancar, etc. ]
❖ xxxxxxxxxx C σ м в α т_•_Ð α т α xxx▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ G e n e r a l ▬▬▬◊ Name of Weapon: Migoto Hibana ( 美しい火花, Beautiful Spark )
◊ Weapon Type: Bokken; Cherry Oak
◊ Weapon Length: 48 inches
◊ Weapon Weight: 3lbs ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ F u l l b r i n g ▬▬▬◊ Name of Fullbring: Mabushii Hinote ( 放射炎 , Radiant Flames )
◊ Fullbring Focus: [ x ] Grandfathers Steel Lighter
◊ Fullbring Status: Incomplete
◊ Fullbring Appearance:
Incomplete: Amy's incomplete fullbring appearance is rather simple. She sparks the lighter to create the flames, once the flame has been created the Japanese symbol for honor on the lighter glows red.
Complete: For her complete fullbring, the lighter sparks and flames come out then break apart into small embers of fires. These fires wrap around her wrists and run in a thin line up her arms, legs, spin and small markings on her collar bone before changing again and appearing as moving tattoos. It also puts small yet hardly noticeable moving tattoos on the center of her forehead at the edge of her hairline and on her edge of her cheeks, but due to her hair they are almost never noticed. Her forearms then began to glow as she gets two gauntlets, identical to the one worn by the hollow that attacked her mother [ x ] . The gauntlet has serrated claws that cover her fingers giving her appearance of the hollow's claws as well.
◊ Fullbring Ability:
Incomplete: Amy's incomplete fullbring gives her the ability to control the fire that she creates from the lighter. Because it is an incomplete she can only generate a small amount of flames and she is unskilled when it comes to controlling the flames. Also when the flames are create from Amy's incomplete cannot harm her, but can burn her clothing if let to close.
Complete: Amy's fullbring not only allows her to create an almost limitless amount of fire, bit it also allows her to shape and control it and much like her incomplete fullbring the flames of her complete fullbring cannot harm her and in addition do not burn her clothing. The only noticeable flaw is that she can only create this flames from moving tattoos that appear on her body after activating her complete fullbring. She can also control the temperature of the gauntlets to such a point that even with her flames active it can be cold to touch or siring hot. Amy's complete fullbring gives her an incredible boost of speed as well as power, but it does have it's drawback which is a lost in defensive abilities. Her strength and speed can easily match the levels of a vice captain or captain, but her defensive ability only reached the level of a fourth to third seat.
◊ Fullbring Techniques:
Incomplete
Explosion of Flames: A simple technique used by Amy to create a ball of fire. It keeps it's shape until it hits something; once it makes contact it explodes.
Saharan Heat: Spreading her flames through the air, Amy can create high heated areas; almost identical to he heat in the Sahara Desert. This move range about 50 yards radius. While this move is in use Amy cannot use any other Shikai attack that require her to use flames. If a opponent is in the area for to long, naturally the opponent will eventually began to see mirages or even hallucinations.
Complete
Apollo's Reach: By using the flame creation and manipulation technique, Amy can shoot her gauntlet forward using the flame to propel and control it a long distances. She can do this with both simultaneously, but even when using one she leaves herself open to a close range attack.
Apollo's Fury: Amy creates three tornadoes of solid flames that moves according her arm movements. Because she only has two arms one of them has a different timing compared to the others and hence this window of opportunity can be used to dodge the attack.
Apollo's Embrace: Amy creates a barrier that surrounds herself. Hitting it physically while cause damn to the attack as well as chase a chance for a burn affect. This move only last for three [ 3 ] post and is the only defensive maneuver Amy has while in complete fullbring form.
❖ xxxxxxxxxx ι η ν є η т σ r у_•_Ð α т α xxx◊ Money: 両150
◊ Belongings:
Bokken
Steel Lighter
Messenger bag
Samsung Charge [Crimson]
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 6:32 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 6:33 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 6:34 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 6:35 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 10:25 am
Alright, so there are a couple of things with this profile that I have questions about, and some things that will need touched up.
Firstly, your personality section doesn't really tell me much about your character. So far as I can tell, she is completely and utterly normal in every single way with not a single defining trait that makes her stand out. Tell me something about what makes Amy tick.
Secondly, and because I just realized it a moment ago, why do you have a decidedly American name for someone born and raised to presumably Japanese parents living in Karakura? You may want to put a line about that in your biography. Some minor details in the bio are off as well, most notably how she received her Fullbring focus. The focus has to be an object with a deep personal and spiritual significance, which a random gift and out of the blue advice don't give. In other words, don't tell me about her mother and brother and father, who it seems are boring and not at all important in this character's life. Tell me about her grandfather and just why this lighter and sword are special to Amy.
Thirdly, you don't have a written appearance. Pictures are nice, but they only tell you so much about what a character looks like. Use the picture to help show us what your character looks like in words.
Fourthly, we don't have a stat system or money system, so you'll need to drop the numbers. The attributes are a nice touch, kind of like Feats in D&D. Feel free to keep them, minus the defined numbers.
Now, for the most part, your fullbring powers are okay, minus a bit of confusion here. Why do you have a bokken? Why do you need to combine the lighter with a sword? Why does the bokken get broken if it was your grandfather's? That seems like an incentive to never use the fullbring, if you know it will break an heirloom. I mean, you could always just use the lighter to create a weapon in fullbring and skip the combining shenanigans. And it doesn't need to be a sword; it could be any number of things for fullbring. Why pick a sword, other than to, quote, 'mimic the ability of a soul reaper's zanpokuto'? (On a side note, your stuff sounds a lot like mine, lol.)
As for the tangible changes, as opposed to the ideological ones above, you'll need to define your abilities and techniques a little more clearly, since we don't have numbers to show how strong they are.
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Posted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 7:12 pm
I think I've fixed it. I'm sorry for the wait.
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Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:44 pm
Alright, cool! Looks good to me.
APPROVED
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