If God created you this way, then this is probably what he wants you to be. This is not something you chose.
I think you need to determine what you think is the most important part of Islam and follow that to the best of your ability. Ask God to forgive you if you're taking the wrong path. A loving God wouldn't shun you for this.
I saw this in someone's signature:
Quran 17:36
You shall not accept any information, unless you verify it for yourself. I have given you the hearing, the eyesight, and the brain, and you are responsible for using them.
Remember that humans aren't perfect, and humans are the ones that write these holy books.
