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 Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 8:25 pm
So I'm living in a dorm on campus (college, just so you know), and I've kind of been hearing things from the other people on my floor. From what I can tell, a good majority of them seem quite homophobic, and I'm really scared that they'll find out I'm gay. My point is, I already feel alienated and alone here, since I have absolutely no friends (went to college out of town)... I can only see it becoming worse if they ever found out, and since I live here, I don't want to constantly feel like crap. What should I do? Should it even matter if they found out?
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Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:03 pm
well if you arent comfortable living with them, then maybe you could talk to your dorm advisor or whoever assigns the students to the rooms and see if there would be anyone willing to trade or if you could move into a vacancy. heck, you could even see if they would let you move into a co-ed dorm and bunk with a girl if you had to, or just move into the girls only dorm. it would probably be strange for a while but its better to live with a bunch of more compassionate and understanding girls than a group of boys who will make you feel like s**t (directly or indirectly) on a daily basis.
if you dont move and they discover that you are gay, then it all depends on how they react. the remarks will most likely either go more private or more public and loud. either way the things they say wont be pretty. if they should start to pull pranks or get too malicious in their words and actions, then you go to athourities. whoever is in charge, dont be afraid of being called a snitch, because its your health and well being that matters, not theirs. if they refuse to help you and the problem continues, there are always someone in charge of the person you went to. even if you make it up to the Dean and he does nothing, then you can always either go to the police and file a complaint or to the board of education. eventually, someone WILL do something.
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Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:09 pm
LithiumXwolf well if you arent comfortable living with them, then maybe you could talk to your dorm advisor or whoever assigns the students to the rooms and see if there would be anyone willing to trade or if you could move into a vacancy. heck, you could even see if they would let you move into a co-ed dorm and bunk with a girl if you had to, or just move into the girls only dorm. it would probably be strange for a while but its better to live with a bunch of more compassionate and understanding girls than a group of boys who will make you feel like s**t (directly or indirectly) on a daily basis. if you dont move and they discover that you are gay, then it all depends on how they react. the remarks will most likely either go more private or more public and loud. either way the things they say wont be pretty. if they should start to pull pranks or get too malicious in their words and actions, then you go to athourities. whoever is in charge, dont be afraid of being called a snitch, because its your health and well being that matters, not theirs. if they refuse to help you and the problem continues, there are always someone in charge of the person you went to. even if you make it up to the Dean and he does nothing, then you can always either go to the police and file a complaint or to the board of education. eventually, someone WILL do something. Thank you so much, this was really helpful! biggrin
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Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:15 pm
The Ouroboros Alchemist LithiumXwolf well if you arent comfortable living with them, then maybe you could talk to your dorm advisor or whoever assigns the students to the rooms and see if there would be anyone willing to trade or if you could move into a vacancy. heck, you could even see if they would let you move into a co-ed dorm and bunk with a girl if you had to, or just move into the girls only dorm. it would probably be strange for a while but its better to live with a bunch of more compassionate and understanding girls than a group of boys who will make you feel like s**t (directly or indirectly) on a daily basis. if you dont move and they discover that you are gay, then it all depends on how they react. the remarks will most likely either go more private or more public and loud. either way the things they say wont be pretty. if they should start to pull pranks or get too malicious in their words and actions, then you go to athourities. whoever is in charge, dont be afraid of being called a snitch, because its your health and well being that matters, not theirs. if they refuse to help you and the problem continues, there are always someone in charge of the person you went to. even if you make it up to the Dean and he does nothing, then you can always either go to the police and file a complaint or to the board of education. eventually, someone WILL do something. Thank you so much, this was really helpful! biggrin well you're welcome. :3 i try to help, but even though i've never been in the situation myself, to my mind i find this the most reasonable and logical course of action.....as my freinds say: "you have the curse of the guru." lol
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Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:17 pm
The Ouroboros Alchemist Thank you so much, this was really helpful! biggrin I have a couple questions- 1, is it a public or a private college and 2, what state? Different states have different protections and I don't want to give you a 1 size fits all answer when it could backfire.
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Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:20 pm
Esiris I have a couple questions- 1, is it a public or a private college and 2, what state? Different states have different protections and I don't want to give you a 1 size fits all answer when it could backfire. It's a public college in Ohio.
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Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:20 pm
The Ouroboros Alchemist Esiris I have a couple questions- 1, is it a public or a private college and 2, what state? Different states have different protections and I don't want to give you a 1 size fits all answer when it could backfire. It's a public college in Ohio. Ok. Let me do some research into what kind of protection is available in general- and you should look at your school's anti-discrimination policy too.
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Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:46 pm
So it looks like your state doesn't have a lot of protections that other places do for LGBT people- like in my state it's illegal to discriminate in schooling, housing and stuff based on orientation or identity. A law like ours was attempted to pass in Ohio, but it didn't.
Look into your school's anti-discrimination policy and ask about what groups are considered protected classes on campus.
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Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:40 am
You may also want to look into seeing if your school has a Gay-Straight Alliance or something of that nature. Someone else may have already had a similar experience and might be able to tell you how they went about solving it, or even if they weren't able to, you'll at least have an ally in helping you to talk to whoever is in charge of the dorm, the dean, and whomever else you might need to speak with.
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Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 10:15 am
dont be afraid buddy. the world may have homophobic issues, but hopefully that'll soon pass
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Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:09 pm
Don't be scared. Be fab! show them who you really are and if they start being douches, just keep on doing what you love to do and don't give a ********. These people don't deserve your attention
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Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 6:38 am
Veneficus Monstrum It's a public college in Ohio.
You aren't an OSU student by chance, are you?
You could look into seeing if your school has some sort of GSA. Joining a club would be a good way to meet new people and if they're like you it may be easier for you to make friends.
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Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 2:18 pm
Thanks everyone! But I moved out, and live at home now, hahaha (not for the posted reason though, dorms are vile). And no, I go to UT... xp
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Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 5:26 pm
I went to OSU. And living at home for as long as you can is a good plan. Dorms suck. Granted, I skipped dorms (thanks to living at home) but I did move out and get a horrid roommate (she was a whore) and that sucked for a year. When you do move out, stick with people you know. People you don't know well, well, you learn more about them than you'd like.
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