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Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 6:38 pm
Gaia User Name: [-(Valissa1206)-] ① ② ③ ④ ⑤ ⑥ ⑦ ⑧ ⑨ ⑩ ⑪ ⑫ ⑬ ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ Name: Utau
Age: [Actual:_190__] [Looks:_19__]
Birthday: (Optional)
Height: 5'2"
Weight:110lbs
Body Type: slim
Hair Color: blue
Eye Color: blue
Gender: female
Sexuality: Straight
Personality: nice, but has a short temper.
Race: Shinigami
Species: Human ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝ Division ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ Division: 11
Seat: Soldier Squad Ability: :Members of squad 11 are able to call their zanpakuto in a physical form. Whether the zanpakuto is animal or human doesnt matter. Side effects With the new guild system being used, you do have a choice as to what you wish to do. If you wish you can use the boosts that the new system gives or you may use my system which is as follows ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝ Spells ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ [Hado] 2. Beniikazuchi (Crimson Thunder) 33. Sōkatsui (蒼火墜, Blue Fire, Crash Down)
[Bakudo] 10. Hōrin (Disintegrating Circle) 9. Geki (撃, Strike) [Jokou] 3. Blue Mist 22. Bikan (Beautiful Sight)
[Chiyudo] ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝ Shinigami Abilities Dashing, Furikkā (Flicker step), Garganta, Senkaimon ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝ Zanpakuto ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ Zanpakuto Size: 3in thick, 4ft in length, and a 6in hilt. Zanpakuto Guard: (Optional, since all Zanpakuto have unique guards above the hilt)
Zanpakuto Sealed (Sword) Form: 
Zanpakuto Type: Forest
Zanpakuto Name: [Name: Sayuri Satoru] [Meaning: Wise Little Lily]
Zanpakuto Spirit: 
Spirit’s Biography: she appeared during Utau's training, yet she's still a mystery. She provides words of wisdom and helps Utau get through the toughest of battles.
Inner World:  [ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┫ Shikai ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┫ Shinkai Form: 
Shikai Size: (Length, weight, width, thickness, etc.) blade length: 4.6 feet thickness: 4 inches Shikai Release Phrase: The Forest goes Wild
Shikai Ability: Utau can slash the sword into the ground, creating a forest terrain, lasts 4 minutes. recharge time 10 minutes. Shikai Attack One: Vine Whip Utau can make vines come out of the sword and hit where she tries to aim, only lasts 4 minutes with a wait time of 10 minutes before she can use it again. Reaches about 6 feet in length
Shikai Attack Two: Sleeping flower Utau can make a poison come from her sword that makes her opponent fall asleep if it hits them. lasts about 2 minutes, and can be resisted. (a hit is the dice rolled at a 5 or 6) recharge time 15 minutes
Shikai Attack Three: Leaf blades Utau can make 10 leaves become razor sharp and attack the opponent, lats about 3 minutes but has to wait 10 minutes before using it again.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┫ Bankai ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┫ Bankai Name: Sayori Satoru Haru
Bankai Form: 
Bankai Size: (Length, weight, width, thickness, etc.) Blade length: 6 feet width: 1 foor thickness: 5 inches
Bankai Release Phrase: Rose Fury
Bankai Ability: Tree Forest Bankai Attack One: Thorm Rage Rose thorns appear from the scythe's stem and shoots thorns at the opponent, lasts 6 minutes, recharge time 10 minutes. length is 7 feet Bankai Attack Two: Slashing Abyss creates a large abyss when the blade touches the ground, leading where aimed. length is about 7 feet. lasts 8 minutes, recharge time 10 minutes══════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝ Other ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ Items: none worth mentioning
Misc: (Things like ‘Theme Song’, Likes, Dislikes, etc.) Like the forest and nature, dislikes pollution. Theme Song ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝ Biography ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗ Utau used to be an artist before she was a soul reaper, she always painted nature and it's beauty. She learned patience and control by painting, which shows in her swordsmanship. She keeps to herself, but only in calm mode, in serious mode, she is very strong and comes up with battle suggestions, though she isnt strong enough to be a full leader. Being second in command was always her place, and she knows it well ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
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Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 7:54 pm
I will not be the one judging this RPC but as the Captain of Squad 11 I believe I must let you know that I do not give out the rank of Officer or Liuetenant until you have served for a period of time as a Soldier within my squad. Just so you know dear. ^_^
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 10:43 am
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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 3:30 pm
Hello, I'm Sadhbh 0210, Squad 6 Captain and I'll be judging your profile.
I apologise that this has not been attended to earlier but I'll just get you to do a few things for me before I can accept this profile.
First of all, if you just want to fix your Appearance image so that we can all see your beautiful character!
Secondly, there are a list of kido in this post. At your current level of Soldier, you are allowed 6. I see that you are seeking to join the 11th Squad so that exempts you from choosing any of the "Chiyudo" spells. However, if you are interested in learning any of these spells - healing spells- then you will have to go through training with the Captain of squad 4.
You need to go into the details of your Shikai size and also just add your Zanpakuto Type.
Could you also add detail to your shikais? It's just for clarity of how long these effects last. You need to do this forShikai Ability: Utau can slash the sword into the ground, creating a forest terrain Shikai Attack One: Vine Whip Utau can make vines come out of the sword and hit where she aims The "hit where she aims" part of this ability is a god mod, you can't just "make" them hit, you have to "attempt to" or "try" to. So you'll need to just change that as well as adding detail on how many vines, the extent of the area that she can make them come out of 10m diameter, etc... just to put a limit on it. Also add a time limit for how long she can control the vines, her being a soldier she won't have the stamina to maintain them for a full fight.Shikai Attack Two: Sleeping flower Utau can make a poison come from her sword that makes her opponent fall asleep. Again here, you need to edit the godmod of " that makes her opponent fall asleep". Say "if it hits them" or something along the lines of that. Now, in fights, you have to option to propose a dice roll to determine whether or not it hits, eg if an odd is rolled then the opponent becomes drowsy and their movements are slowed. To have the opponent actually fall asleep though is godmoding because, when they are asleep you've pretty much just ended the fight and can kill them since they cannot post back. So a compromise would be to have them just become drowsy. However, you'll need to have a time limit on it, again, because of her rank, it should be reasonably short.Shikai Attack Three: Leaf blades Utau can make the leaves become razor sharp and attack the opponentAgain, more detail, a time limit and how far she can manipulate them for.
You need to do the same for your Bankai.
Your literacy is good, just one little thing at the end "patients" should be patience I assume. Nice biography by the way, very interesting.
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 4:23 pm
Thank you so much. I'll edit my post right now.
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 1:29 am
That's okay, just post again when you finish editing, take your time.
p.s awhh... she's so nice!
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 1:00 pm
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Posted: Thu Jul 07, 2011 1:57 pm
Oh yikes. You're a little harsh there, even for a soldier!
The way that things work in this guild, 1 post is equivalent to 1 minute. You'd be waiting 30posts recharge time after using some of the abilities for 15 posts.
Overall, I'd say just cut down on the lasting time as well as the recharge time. A soldier's average lasting time would be 4-5 posts, that's just a guideline but it's just as it's a lower rank and in that time there is ample time to use the ability but be fair with your recharge time, 8-10 posts perhaps. You need to do this with your shikai ability, shikai 1 and both your bankais.
The shikai 2 is okay. However, you will need to put some kind of system in place for spars like the random number or dice roll system that I have indicated above. Unless you can agree to do that, you'll have to rethink the sleeping aspects. Do you understand?
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Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2011 9:11 am
Ok, I changed it. I really hope I get this right
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Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:46 am
Sorry about this (it's just for your Shikai), just reduce the lasting time, those times are more what an officer would be looking for. After that has been changed, this profile is accepted and I'll post again to confirm it.
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Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:57 am
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Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:05 am
Accepted.
Just as a side note, once you progress through the ranks, you are allowed to increase the durations again but make them reasonable, what you had before was good for officers!
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