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 Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 4:08 pm
A while back I posted something about a boy Iliked, asking if I should tell him.... you all said yes but Ihesitated.... and now I’m glad that I did..... Turns out that he (and one of the guys I’ve previously had a crush on....) has an arranged marriage. gonk So now I’m even more nervous to tell him. I don't know what to say around him these days because of that.... and so things have become really awkward for both of us.... emo I do know that he doesn't want to marry her; and he's got a good reason not to! His dad's making him marry his cousin so she can apparently; come over to America….?!? confused I dun quite get it myself but he keeps saying that he'll get her over here and then say he doesn't want to marry her. All this gives me hope. But it still would be awkward to tell him; or even date him if he returns my feelings; knowing that he's engaged to someone. Anyways; what I’m basically asking is should I tell him or not?
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 8:59 pm
GET. HIM. BACK.
Dont care what you tell him. Be a big girl and avoid all the awkwardness altogether. Just do it in private so its not awkward. Just say in one go"This is what happened, this is how I felt, this is how I feel now, I hope you do too..." Just make it short and sweet and hopes he says yes to you.
Marrying your cousin is bad, ESPECIALLY if your family puts you up to it. The awkwardness of you telling him the truth CAN NOT, I guarantee, CANNOT match the awkwardness of marrying your cousin. Think about that.
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:18 pm
xXJustified_DeathXx GET. HIM. BACK. Dont care what you tell him. Be a big girl and avoid all the awkwardness altogether. Just do it in private so its not awkward. Just say in one go"This is what happened, this is how I felt, this is how I feel now, I hope you do too..." Just make it short and sweet and hopes he says yes to you. Marrying your cousin is bad, ESPECIALLY if your family puts you up to it. The awkwardness of you telling him the truth CAN NOT, I guarantee, CANNOT match the awkwardness of marrying your cousin. Think about that. i've thought about that.... but i'm honestly too chicken. what if he rejects me. our friendship would be ruined too. and then it'd be more akward. plus; i won't see him again until school starts up again. so i wouldn't be able to tell him any ways. emo i know it's bad and so does he; it's his conceted parents that have an issue. -.- they did this before he was born. one of those kindsa things. i might text him.... if i grow a back bone soon. but who knows. {can't spell worth $#!+}
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:29 pm
I know its hard. But take it from me: the guilt and the anxiety of not telling him period will haunt you for good. At least if you get three words to him somehow, even if over the internet (if you're best friends you should have some contact info of his) thats a load off your back. If I could help in any way I would, but I dont know how much more I can do except say Dont give up on it. If its a cause you think is wrong, thats reason enough. If he agrees its stupid thats a 5 blinking green lights in the shape of an arrow right there.
Im afraid I cant say more than that, luv. If you miss out on this, you might not get it back. And dont even get me started on heartache...you probably already know...
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:54 pm
Tell him anyway. Chances are he'll try to mess up his dad by alerting athaurities of the greencard mairrage, then you'll have a shot.
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Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 12:16 am
kats_demonic_resistance A while back I posted something about a boy Iliked, asking if I should tell him.... you all said yes but Ihesitated.... and now I’m glad that I did..... Turns out that he (and one of the guys I’ve previously had a crush on....) has an arranged marriage. gonk So now I’m even more nervous to tell him. I don't know what to say around him these days because of that.... and so things have become really awkward for both of us.... emo I do know that he doesn't want to marry her; and he's got a good reason not to! His dad's making him marry his cousin so she can apparently; come over to America….?!? confused I dun quite get it myself but he keeps saying that he'll get her over here and then say he doesn't want to marry her. All this gives me hope. But it still would be awkward to tell him; or even date him if he returns my feelings; knowing that he's engaged to someone. Anyways; what I’m basically asking is should I tell him or not?
My my my... what a troublesome situation. A catch-22. Your main objective is to stop the marriage, but how? You can't do that without causing disruption among the family. But you will be happy if you can be with him, and so will he, vice-versa. You can't hold your peace, otherwise you both will probably be unhappy for quite some time. Well, actually, probably just him. Later down the road you'll find another person.
What you ought to do is let him choose. Sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel about him. Tell him that you are actually crazy about him, and that you don't think you or he will be happy if he goes with this girl he's arranged to marry. Make it clear that he has two choices, he either calls it off, or he continues with the marriage. There is absolutely no middle of the road where he's married to her but loves you (particularly if that includes sexytimes), no ifs ands or buts about it.
Finally, tell him that you'll respect his decision either way, but the main thing is that you want him to be happy.
P.S. I also suspect this marriage is illegal, not because he's related, but because it sounds like some sort of immigration loophole they are attempting to exploit.
...because reality is finally better than your dreams...
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Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:18 am
 [ B R O K E N * J A N D E R S ]
Arranged marriages still happen? wtf....
Anyways, this might as well be an empty post because I completely agree with Justified and Umbrae as well. I just hope that you don't get beef from his family if the authorities are notified of the marriage and the loopholes it is creating...
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Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:42 am
thanks guys, this deffinatly helps me....now i just gotta think of a way to give him the message. i dun see him until school starts up again. sad
@ Janders: it shocked me too.... i thoutht they were an extinct idea as well. i doubt they'd get caught.... and i doubt it'd be from me. they've foun everypossible issue and dealt with it. {except me of course ninja }
@ Umbrae: i complettly agree with all of this, and as i said to Janders; they've pretty much made things perfectly legal so there shouldn't be an issue with the cops.... but if i get the chance to; i'mma put a jam in the whole thing when i tell him.
@Labrynth: i doubt he'd do that.. his family is very......i dunno how to put it.....honor bound(?)... to eachother and so; that'd really screw things up for him.
@ Death: thanks, i thnk this advice is the most help i've gotten. {no offense to the others} i most deffinatley will attempt to use this {i fail at telling peoples my feelings}
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Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2011 4:33 pm
THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! ^-^
so i put it off for awhile 'cause i'm shy and all.... >.>
but i finally told him how i feel and found out he likes me back ^-^
i probably wouldn't have done that if you guys hadn't said anything so thank you all so much~!
{and on a side note; he told me that he's talked to his dad.... and they cancled the marriage!}
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2011 4:45 pm
where do u live coz um i dont believe u can marry ur cousin in this country
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