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Lord Bartheyamus Aurlin Crew
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 Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 3:09 am
Hello, for those of you who do not know me I'm Jake Brew (A.K.A Bartheyamus Aurlin in the forum.) I'm writing this to explain my sudden and lengthy departure for CoBTH. I had left around December of 2010 near the inception of this guild due to the extreme and agonizing pressure of my depression and anxiety.
I had lost a dear friend of mine, not in the sense that he had died but in the sense that he deemed me unworthy of his friendship. Being my friend for three years, we grew extremely close and I had flew down on one occasion to Texas from New York (where I live) to come and see him. Over time, he had changed and abused me both psychologically and emotionally. Taking this in a difficult manner, I became reclusive, my mind stagnant from staying indoors and not releasing any form of creative matter. With a new semester on college on the horizon, I figured myself too busy to continue role-playing and that was perhaps my biggest mistake. Coping with the loss of a friend (although an abusive one) and trying to pursue my college education, depression gave way to laziness, lack of motivation.
I had tried and almost succeeded in committing suicide three weeks after my departure here. I sought counseling and medication to correct my irrational behavior but it only made these thoughts worse. I held on to the final threads of stability until early April when I had mentally broke down, crying and thrashing about on my college campus. Hospitalized, I was getting temporary treatment from another form of antidepressants that I could ultimately not afford.
To make a long story, longer, I had eventually gone on medical leave from school and started an overnight position at McDonalds which only succeeded in exacerbating my problems. I quit it and am now unemployed.
I realize this post is lengthy but I wish to re-assimilate into the role-playing here and also offer a beacon of hope to any and all members of this guild If you are suffering from any sort of depression, bipolar, anxiety or anger issues. I want to be able to help any of you who may have a rough life or a rough circumstance. I may only be another role-play partner but I know what it's like to go through trials and tribulations. I will offer a kind, honest, and non-judgmental hand for those who need someone to keep them floating. Going through depression is not an ultimatum, but an option. It DOES get better and even though struggle may never subside in our lives. it doesn't have to consume us.
Now, I'm back hopefully for good now. I'll try to catch up somehow. I also apologize if this post is not appropriate for here but I figured this would be a great place for people to vent and speak their minds.
With love and sincerity,
Bartheyamus Aurlin (Jake)
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 2:48 pm
welcome back and i got a bit of announcement too if people don't mind
i'm currently in the process of moving (i have this week to myself but as of the end of the month i will be moving) so my time on gaia may be limited, i'll post when i can, if i post in one area and not the other it's cause i couldn't think of a response for my character or i think some one else could respond better
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 4:13 pm
Welcome back! And I'm sorry to hear about all that has happened in the past few months. We're glad to hear you're feeling better now; and of course we'll be looking forward to seeing you in the roleplay again!
And Knives_Sama, it's fine if you don't post here and there. Thanks for telling us so we'll know why if you don't reply! Good luck with your move!
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