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 Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 5:39 pm
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A Witchling Quest Thread
Status: Open for Crits
Updated: 06/05/2011
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 5:39 pm
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xxxxxxxxxx|★ ＲＡＣＥ: Human
xxxxxxxxxx|★ ＳＴＡＧＥ: Witchling
xxxxxxxxxx|★ ＧＥＮＤＥＲ: Female
xxxxxxxxxx|「 ★ 」 ＢＩＯＧＲＡＰＨＹ:
xxxxxxxxxx| Syrena was born outside of Clarus Arbor, a quiet rural town in Lilium Hallow. A child born from two respected and retired Cerberus Knights. The
xxxxxxxxxx| hectic environment that they grew up in in Lumena Castle Town was something they did not want for their daughter. Therefore they decided
xxxxxxxxxx| to move out of town and retire and make a peaceful home for their growing family. Syrena grew up in a very loving and yet strict
xxxxxxxxxx| environment, but this is something she expected being born from two soldiers of the royal knights. Growing up, her mother and father would
xxxxxxxxxx| tell her tales of their life of servitude to the royals of their world.
xxxxxxxxxx| Syrena grew up in a very isolated area, her family lived in a small farm and thrived off of the crops that they grew. Being an only child,
xxxxxxxxxx| Syrena grew up playing by herself, and basically with anything that she could find, or during rare occasions she would play with the children
xxxxxxxxxx| passing by when she and her mother would go to the market in the town near by. Her parents would always find her in their barn talking to
xxxxxxxxxx| their cows and telling them stories of what she would do if she ever became a knight. Syrena is a dreamer, she longed to travel and find
xxxxxxxxxx| adventure. But because of her isolation from people and other witchlings, Syrena does not know how to converse with someone her age. Thus
xxxxxxxxxx| making her somewhat socially awkward at times. Syrena isn't particularly the shy type but she does get very nervous one a first meeting
xxxxxxxxxx| basis and will eventually warm up to the person in due time. She can be very clumsy at times and tends to space out quite often when she's
xxxxxxxxxx| lost in her own thoughts while doing her work. She often dreams of what her powers would be or what life would be like as a witch...
xxxxxxxxxx| As the years went by, Syrena, still showed no signs of any magic. Her parents kept ensuring her that she was just a late bloomer and
xxxxxxxxxx| everytime she would try they would give her the: "That's okay honey, your powers will come one day, you will just have to be patient." Sick of
xxxxxxxxxx| listening to their pep talks, Syrena would try and practice the basic spells her mother had told her. But still nothing. After a year had passed
xxxxxxxxxx| Syrena had almost given up until she started to show ample signs of magic. This was a very happy moment for Syrena and her parents, and
xxxxxxxxxx| just in time for she was finally old enough to enroll in Makai Royal Academy where she will study hard and one day follow in her parents
xxxxxxxxxx| footsteps and one day joining the Cerberus Knights.
xxxxxxxxxx| The necklace:
xxxxxxxxxx| Before Syrena left home to go study in Makai Academy, her mother had given her a necklace as a charm. The blue crystal has a spell that
xxxxxxxxxx| her mother had casted on it, a spell that will help Syrena control her powers until she is able to master it. Syrena, being a late bloomer who
xxxxxxxxxx| had just gotten her magic at the age of 16 unlike most witchlings who would get theirs at an early age doesn't know how to control her powers
xxxxxxxxxx| very well and it gets very overwhelming for her. So Syrena wears her charm at all times to help channel her magic properly and safely.
xxxxxxxxxx|「 ★ 」 ＡＢＩＬＩＴＹ ＣＯＮＣＥＮＴＲＡＴＩＯＮ :
xxxxxxxxxx| Syrena is more focused on white magic. She is typically good at healing since it was the first thing she had learned from her mother.
xxxxxxxxxx|「 ★ 」 ＶＩＳＵＡＬ ＲＥＦＥＲＥＮＣＥ:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx| I'm guessing since she will be a witchling that they will all have the same clothes so:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx| ✥ Hairstyle ➝ color: bleach blonde and on the tips of her hair || eye color: Medium Aquamarine - #348781
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx| ✥ Flower hair pins
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx| ✥ Necklace ➝ A necklace given to her by her mother as a charm but it actually helps her control her powers.
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2011 10:44 pm
Crits are now open I guess.
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 12:54 am
I love the way you set up things. Very neat and organized and aesthetically pleasing, which is a bonus. C:
A mild critique - watch for grammar usage, since I can see a few punctuation marks missing here and there. But this is mostly just a personal thing; otherwise it reads very well~
You give a lot about her background, which is good, but not so much about her personality. At first glance, you can tell she's very determined, but other than that all you can tell is just by her background. What else is she like? Is she quiet or loud? Is she kind or a little brash? Does she follow in her parents footsteps in that she is loving, yet strict? What does she like to do? I think more expansion on who she is as a person would be great. =)
The visual refs are lovely; I love the peacock pin. <3
Other than that, nicely written. C:
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 12:42 pm
Thank you! And there.. I wrote... a brief personality write up on her.. ish. D:
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Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 6:12 pm
I love her! The part about her telling stories to the cows is adorable ^_^ There's only a couple questions I had...
She seems to have a very light personality, very airy, kindof go with the flow, etc... But this may be intentional, I don't know. I think she just needs a tad more on her personality, maybe? When you say she's awkward around other people, how do you mean? What things does she do that make her awkward? The peacock pin is very cool, but it's a rather flamboyant piece, like something a bohemian would wear, which may be what you were going for? (Then again, we have people running around with green and purple hair, so my idea of flamboyance may be a bit too severe... sweatdrop )
And lastly, you mention the necklace is used to control her powers, does that mean her powers are too much for her? Or is it just a gift to help her focus? What effect does the lateness of her powers have on her?
Anyway, those are just the things I thought of when reading... Definitely love her so far! ^_^
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Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 3:13 pm
Thank you! <333
And yeah I kind of made it so that she just goes with the flow since she's still a bit unsure of what she wants. At first she was just kind of focused on getting her powers but when she did she was kind of just doing whatever and practicing and such. e ve;;
And the peacock headband... O uO I just think it's really pretty and I kind of want her to stand out but I might change it. /looks for more hairbands/clip references.
And I put a short background about the necklace.. It's a work in progress but it's something like that.
Thank you everyone by the way! Your critiques do help a lot and I shall now update my quest.. C:
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