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yep

Was forced to see a therapist because a cop found one of my poems in my backyard. Got in a fight with my ex and to get rid of my emotions I wrote a poem and then tossed it in his face. Well I guess someone saw my ex and his friends stealing some things and the cops went into the backyard and found the stolen things as well as my poem. Told my mom I needed some help with me standing right there. *shrugs*

Ya...why I can't really write anymore. Because of that my brain pretty much has it in there that writing my feelings out in poems is bad and will make people think I want to kill myself or whatever. *shrugs*

No thats just how everything seemed. I get yelled at and sent to a councilor for expressing my emotions in a non physical way, I even get grounded, yet when I would hit things (mainly brick walls) to get rid of my emotions I would just get yelled at. Made no sense and after that my brain basically just said fk it why try to express my emotions, lets just bottle them up until I get sick and explode lol. *shrugs*

Parent and honestly my mother wouldn't know I hit things until after I had already hit something and it would be a few days later as my hand bruises. *shrugs*

Thats basically what I do. I bottle up all my emotions, keeping them inside me, end up making myself physically sick and then I snap and just yell and cry or hit things. For a few years I have tried my best not to hit things, but there are times when it just happens. I get so mad I punch my computer screen or the wall in my hallway. From what I have heard even when I was younger, after my father passed away, I didn't really let my emotions out. From what my mom told me, for months after his death I didn't cry, didn't shed a single tear, and then all of a sudden one night I broke out in tears. *shrugs* And that was when I was four years old so guess its nothing new lol.