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 Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 8:16 am
It really shits me off how mindlessly sexist some men can be. Like this one 'friend' of mine who just recently excluded me from a group hangout because there were 'guys who had never been in a relationship before attending, and I didn't want to make them feel awkward by having you there.'
As though me being a female was enough to cancel out any interest I had in their little social night. As though these dudes who had never been in a relationship were so godamn fragile that they couldn't bear to be in the same room as a woman. Too bad that other friends of mine were going. Too bad that he invited my boyfriend to attend right in front of ********. Pisses. Me. Off.
Friend's room mate [who I am also friends with. Probably better friends, actually] then invited me on the sly. I didn't actually know that I wasn't invited by the other friend at that point; he had never bothered to actually tell me the above until after I had offended him by turning up. I found out later. When taller half and I arrived I was treated quite coldly. Friend took boyfriend outside to 'talk' about how I hadn't been invited. He couldn't even talk to me about it! WTF! Taller half is not my keeper; it was not my friend's place to 'talk' to him about me. Like he was taking a neighbour to task about letting his dog crap on his lawn or something.
Sorry for ranting to you guys. I just feel a little demoralised and frustrated. Not being taken seriously/being excluded due to being female really sets me off.
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 8:57 am
As a guy I would just like to say that a forever single man is a fragile being and a the presence of a woman, especially one that is in a relationship, can be detrimental to the mental state. That being said he should have manned up and told you himself because what he did was just not right.
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 3:16 pm
Levis Pennae As a guy I would just like to say that a forever single man is a fragile being and a the presence of a woman, especially one that is in a relationship, can be detrimental to the mental state. That being said he should have manned up and told you himself because what he did was just not right. I have a really hard time understanding this. Can you explain why? I find it depressing, really. I am not my relationship. I am not my sex. There is so much more to a person than those things and I find it galling and appalling that I can be excluded on that basis. I would never dream of telling my male friends not to come hang out due to their being a female who had never been in a relationship in attendance.
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 7:22 am
thats such a pathetic excuse. anyone who cant stand to be in the same room as someone just because of their gender really needs to toughen up.
how on earth do they deal with social situations in the real world? have they never met a female who is in a relationship?
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 1:52 pm
o.O I would think it would be harder to be in the same room with guys who either ARE or have been in relationships before....what a crock stare
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 2:07 pm
To the extent of my understanding, a man puts a lot of self-worth on being able to find and keep a female counterpart. By doing that, it says to other men, "I'm good enough to have a significant other." I guess I can understand the fragility that comes with not being able have/keep a female counterpart, but for a guy that's never been in a relationship to begin with, not even a brief high school "We dating?" "I guess." *break up ten minutes later*, that's where I call that fragility into question. :/
I guess I can get it if we're talking the stereotypical nerd who sits and plays WoW for most of his days and tries after the wrong kind of woman for his type, then promptly gets shot down like a one-winged duck. That can cause fragility, sure.
But y'know, I'm a woman and I don't claim to know exactly what men are like on that. I'm just talking base instinct based on things I've read in articles.
But I think that was very base and rude of him. >:/ If a man doesn't have the balls to tell a female friend something to her face, then obviously he's single for a reason. Do we not, as women, desire honesty in men, especially in friends and significant others? Generally speaking, of course.
Were it me, I would have taken HIM aside and told him what's what. That friends are honest and upfront with each other. If he's sensitive enough to think of his fellows' mental state over not having had a girlfriend or whatever, then he should be sensitive enough to understand that, one would think.
Blah that turned out to be longer than I'd intended. Sorry. ^^;
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 2:32 pm
I'd kick him in the dangles and tell him "I'm sorry, it must be my fragile female state of mind." That's a shitless excuse, personally I don't mind when someone invites my fiance somewhere and not myself, IF they have good reason for not inviting me. The majority of time he won't go if I'm not also invited, but still.
Being excluded just because you're female, you should kick all of their asses because if they're too fragile to be around females because they've never been in a relationship you could take them all and not break a sweat.
[I lol'ed at the taller half comment. Adam has 6 inches on me and calls me his fun sized half]
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 2:37 pm
That sounds so retarded. If anything just say, gee we're having a guys night. I can somewhat understand that, because it easily goes both ways, sometimes I need a night just with the gals. But the whole reasoning for you not being there and telling your bf, what kind of people are you hanging out with??? confused
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Gabrielle_AnimalLuver Crew
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 2:59 pm
Akiska I'd kick him in the dangles and tell him "I'm sorry, it must be my fragile female state of mind." That's a shitless excuse, personally I don't mind when someone invites my fiance somewhere and not myself, IF they have good reason for not inviting me. The majority of time he won't go if I'm not also invited, but still. Being excluded just because you're female, you should kick all of their asses because if they're too fragile to be around females because they've never been in a relationship you could take them all and not break a sweat. [I lol'ed at the taller half comment. Adam has 6 inches on me and calls me his fun sized half] Taller half and I hang out with our respective friends seperately quite often and we're both perfectly cool with it. I found this particular situation upsetting because this dude was my friend long before he was the boyfriend's friend...they only know each other through me. stare I really would like to deliver a good arsekicking. [Haha, fun sized. rofl He teases me for being short all the time and I give him a hard time for bumping his head on things. One time we were out bush and he tried to follow me when I walked under a tree but didn't take his greater height into consideration...and ended up with a branch in the face. Hilarious.]
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 3:13 pm
Gabrielle_AnimalLuver That sounds so retarded. If anything just say, gee we're having a guys night. I can somewhat understand that, because it easily goes both ways, sometimes I need a night just with the gals. But the whole reasoning for you not being there and telling your bf, what kind of people are you hanging out with??? confused I've always hung out with a lot of blokes and haven't been excluded for being female before. Maybe why I'm feeling so rankled. Guys night is one thing, I agree, but the reasoning behind this was so stupid. As for what kind of people I'm hanging out with...most of them really are genuinely good people. This friend isn't a 'bad person' as such, it's just like he has this ingrained layer of sexism. I don't think he even realises. I think it's a subconscious 'natural order' type of thing. That being said, I miss the people I was hanging out with several years ago. emo
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 3:50 pm
Eizoryu To the extent of my understanding, a man puts a lot of self-worth on being able to find and keep a female counterpart. By doing that, it says to other men, "I'm good enough to have a significant other." I guess I can understand the fragility that comes with not being able have/keep a female counterpart, but for a guy that's never been in a relationship to begin with, not even a brief high school "We dating?" "I guess." *break up ten minutes later*, that's where I call that fragility into question. :/ I guess I can get it if we're talking the stereotypical nerd who sits and plays WoW for most of his days and tries after the wrong kind of woman for his type, then promptly gets shot down like a one-winged duck. That can cause fragility, sure. But y'know, I'm a woman and I don't claim to know exactly what men are like on that. I'm just talking base instinct based on things I've read in articles. But I think that was very base and rude of him. >:/ If a man doesn't have the balls to tell a female friend something to her face, then obviously he's single for a reason. Do we not, as women, desire honesty in men, especially in friends and significant others? Generally speaking, of course. Were it me, I would have taken HIM aside and told him what's what. That friends are honest and upfront with each other. If he's sensitive enough to think of his fellows' mental state over not having had a girlfriend or whatever, then he should be sensitive enough to understand that, one would think. Blah that turned out to be longer than I'd intended. Sorry. ^^; Thanks for your perspective. smile I did take him aside and told him how it was, but he didn't seem to 'get' it. It was all perfectly reasonable in his eyes and the best I got was 'I'm sorry you found it offensive, but...', albeit in a much more convoluted manner. So not a real apology. I agree on the 'that is why he's single'. I've been trawling my brain for other examples of his sexism and found it easily enough- he has a very defined idea of 'man's talk' and 'woman's talk'. He likes to have indepth discussions/debates about world issues with dudes and tends to discuss 'entertainment' with his female friends. With little to no crossover- very annoying!
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 3:51 pm
Cowgirl-with-heart o.O I would think it would be harder to be in the same room with guys who either ARE or have been in relationships before....what a crock stare You know, that is a great point. Thanks 3nodding When it comes up with him again I will be sure to use that one, haha.
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Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 3:53 pm
Shanna66 thats such a pathetic excuse. anyone who cant stand to be in the same room as someone just because of their gender really needs to toughen up. how on earth do they deal with social situations in the real world? have they never met a female who is in a relationship? Ayuh, a teaspoon of cement wouldn't be out of place. 'Protecting' people in that manner helps no one.
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Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 7:36 am
That is so stupid and not even a real excuse. How will those guys ever be in a relationship if they're afraid to hang out with a girl? You could probably out dude them anyday, what with being an awesome outdoorswoman and all.
[My boyfriend is sitting here and he said "So the guy that didn't invite her is gay?"]
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