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An Invisible Shapeshifter
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 Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:02 pm
♪♫ I really, really don't want a boyfriend. I don't want boys to like me like that. I don't want to have people flirt with me, I don't want any boys to ask me out. I especially don't want any of my good guy friends to ever, ever like me like that and completely ruin our friendship. It's an annoying distraction and complicates matters. I want to be able to be really good friends with guys, but have them never consider me as potential girlfriend material.
The problem is, I have no idea how to go about it. How? How do you do this? How do you make sure none of your guy friends will like you like that, and no boys will like you like that, without giving up a lot of stuff?
As of now, my only strategy is dressing sloppy and acting a little abnormal.
And I'm getting pretty sick of dressing sloppy. I honestly think skirts are much more comfortable than pants. More air flow. And I like pretty things. Although I'm too embarassed and worried about the above to make myself into something pretty that I like... ♫ ♪
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:09 pm
Act abrasive, creepy or hostile. Develop a morbid interest in death, and bring up details of murder victims in conversations with guys. Laugh at plane crashes. Eat like a slob. Act like "one of the guys." Etcetera, etcetera.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:23 pm
Uhm, I don't think you really need to go as dramatic as the person above suggests.
Maybe just tell them in the very beginning you just want to be friends?
I've never actually had this problem before; I always stay just friends with people.
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:25 pm
Agreed, just tell them you just want to be friends.
I've never been in this kind of situation before, although this is what I would do. xD
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Posted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:25 pm
Aisubeki-hime
Uhm, I don't think you really need to go as dramatic as the person above suggests.
Maybe just tell them in the very beginning you just want to be friends?
I've never actually had this problem before; I always stay just friends with people.
I was merely pointing out the absurdity of the situation. She can either "run away" from her problems by taking on another persona, or simply learn to say no and tell them she's not looking for a boyfriend right now.
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Posted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 2:00 pm
I agree with B.V.B.
It's not so much avoiding these things as it is just learning to deal with them.
You just can't avoid situations in life all together, and trying to change who you are just to do so is rather unhealthy for one's self-image.
There will always be guys out there that see you as a dating prospect, and unfortunately a relationship here or there may become awkward. The same happened to me about two months ago with a former friend. But things like this happen in life, and sometimes you just need to learn that there's no stopping it.
If you don't want a boyfriend, if anyone asks you out, just politely decline, saying you aren't looking for a relationship right now in your life.
There will always be flirtation whether you like it or not. And not all flirtation is done consciously, either. Sometimes it just slips, and if anything can be taken as a compliment, saying that you're an attractive person.
If anything, the main points that need to be taken for this situation are to learn to be polite in declining being asked out, understand that things just happen sometimes, and to never lead a guy on if you don't intend on being in a relationship.
It's all just a part of maturing and growing up. =]
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An Invisible Shapeshifter
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Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:36 pm
okay, thanks ^^
But wouldn't it be awkward making friends and then saying I just want to be friends first? @_@
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Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2011 3:27 pm
You could tell them you're a lesbian.
Sorry, first thought that popped into my head. xD Anyway, I agree with the others. You can't really make them not like you. Dressing sloppily is obviously not who you are, so don't do it. Just make sure whatever you wear isn't super revealing or like guy attracting, I guess. You'll figure it out. ^^
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Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2011 3:52 pm
Changing your image is not the answer. I've had something like this happen before.
I developed a crush on a guy friend(let's call him Vic) and he liked me too. Then my best friend accidently told him that I liked him, and I started freaking out. So I said to my friend "Why'd ya tell Vic? I like him but I don't want him to ask me out because I'm not ready and I don't want to ruin our friendship!" The next day, Vic asked me out. I politely said that us going out was not a good idea because we were both going to hurt eachother and that we'd probably break up eventually, and that our friendship would not survive. He understood, and we never became a couple. Things were never awkward because we decided to forget that this ever happened.
It's been nearly 4 years since then. Vic and I are still good friends.
So if a guy friend ever asks you out, just politely decline and be honest. He'll understand and you can still be friends. As long as you decide to act normal things will never get awkward. I hope telling you about my little expirience helped you a bit. : )
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