|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 8:41 pm
I remember back when I was ten Yes, I remember all the way back then And you were small, just nine years old And the autumn chill made us cold
We were walking down the street With no shoes on our feet Of course my mother would just yell But we didn't care if we stood or fell
And you looked up at me With a smile in your eyes You said "this is the start of a beautiful friendship" And I laughed and said "That's a lie"
But you shook your head As we walked to your house And I followed you Silent as a mouse
We went inside and did what little girls do You laughed at me And I laughed at you
And at the end of the day We raced to my yard Then fell over in the grass And looked up at the stars
You smiled, then turned to me And Said "Nothing will ever tear us apart" And I believed you I believed you with all of my heart
--- Could you guys help me come up with a title please? thanks ^_^ heart
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 9:09 pm
Childhood
or
Childhood Friendship
or
Promises
?
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:17 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2010 5:37 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 7:28 pm
A First Friend / Forever in My Heart
Just a suggestion to stick with one scheme throughout the poem. The rhyming words should line up.
I remember back when I was ten Yes, I remember all the way back then And you were small, just nine years old And the autumn chill made us cold
We were walking down the street With no shoes on our feet Of course my mother would just yell But we didn't care if we stood or fell
And you looked up at me With a smile in your eyes You said "this is the start of a beautiful friendship" And I laughed and said "That's a lie"
But you shook your head As we walked to your house And I followed you Silent as a mouse
We went inside and did what little girls do You laughed at me And I laughed at you
And at the end of the day We raced to my yard Then fell over in the grass And looked up at the stars
You smiled, then turned to me And Said "Nothing will ever tear us apart" And I believed you I believed you with all of my heart
See how it went from double rhyming to skipped lines? I suggest you stick with one throughout.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 10:31 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 10:37 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:41 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 7:52 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 7:15 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|