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 Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:03 pm
The long and the short of it is:
My parents and I have never really gotten along. We can be civilized toward each other but there really isn't much of a good relationship between us.
My dad and I are getting better, which is good.
My mother, on the other hand....it seems like we're getting worse. In short, my mom's parents are declining in health badly and seemingly rapidly, work is getting more stressful or unbearable or both, and I know there are some other things going on with her.....but I don't know what. I've tried asking her if something was wrong and if there was anything I can do to help with anything, but she won't talk to me about anything really.
I know the relationship issue is both of our faults, not just one or the other.
I don't know how to talk to her or where to even begin and she feels the same way.
And now, with everything going on in her life, it's becoming more and more apparent to me that she is becoming a functional alcoholic.
Saturday night was......just awful.
And it's getting so hard to keep a Christ-like composure.
The things she says is just so frickin' hurtful.....it never used to be this way. And it hurts knowing that she's hurting in some way or another and I can't or don't know what to do.
Please, any advice would be much appreciated
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Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:31 pm
i wish i had something for you, but i really truly dont. the biggest issue is that she's your mother, there isnt much that you can do about her drinking. i know that makes me a doom sayer and i apologize. the issue with this is that you would have to hold some kind of intervention, and those dont always go well and it'd have to be the entire family taking part. and ultimately it would be her choice to stop or keep drinking. im not sure what you can do other than shower her with the love of christ. know that alcohol turns people into someone they aren't and the hurtful things she says, she doesnt entirely mean. i will pray for you, and i hope things start to look up in the future. just do your best to smile and love her. i know its hard, but you can do it ^^
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Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 10:40 am
I am a sinner... "1 John 1:8"
depending on your mom's age is she possibly going through menopause on top of the rest of the issues she is facing? That in and of it self can cause feelings, actions, and sudden changes in everything to happen. I know from talking to my mom that it can cause really big problems and it hurts her that she ends up hurting someone else with how she acts. It seems like your mom is holding a lot of things in and instead of dealing with them she has turned to drinking.
I say prayer for your mother is very important and I will pray for her and for your whole family. Taking time to reach out to your mom more and more is probably a good place to start. Open up and share with her some things about yourself. Get to know each other, and show her you care. I'm sure it's gonna be awkward and maybe even painful if she acts meanly or says hurtful things. Maybe in your reaching out you will spark something within her to feel like she can talk with you. This is matter that will take a lot of work changing because it will depend on both you and you mother. I hope for the best of this and I pray that I have helped even some.
... Saved by God's grace "Acts 15:11"
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Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 3:58 pm
I'm very bad at giving advice other than this, pray to God for help(that's the only Good and best advice there is) and I'll be praying aswell.
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