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 Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 12:08 pm
Character Name: Arya
Age: 17
Gender:Female
Sexual Orientation:straight
Craft/Rank: smithcrafter apprentice
History:
Arya was born into a semi wealthy family, they owned a bakery, and sold goods to the people. her family was well known and well loved for their generosity, as Arya grew into her adolescence years she sought out what craft she will take, her parents insisted that she follow her mothers path and take the business. Arya's curiosity and need for adventure, drew her to the pounding of steel, creating things for the good of all. she knew what drew her to the steel, the flame. She often wandered around the streets searching for things her mother needed to prepare food for the next day, one day her wandering led her to a Smithcrafter's shop, her heart quickened as she entered the smithcrafters shop, the smell of burning wood, the warmth of the room welcomed her..Everyday she went to see the Master Smith to watch him smash the metal and create different items for different crafts. Her family taught her little of dragons, and riders, but not the specifics.. her parents kept things from her, they believed that she wasn't one of those speical ones picked to ride a dragon.
When Arya turned 12, she was old enough to become an apprentice, her mother tried to push her to become her apprentice with her, but Arya had been taking training from the Blacksmith in learning different types of metals and what not to use. Arya finally broke it to her parents that she was an apprentice with the local blacksmith, her parents were unhappy that she went behind their back and followed a trade that was not what they wanted. her mother yelled, and cursed her. Arya just held her head high, and told her mother. "it is my life, i choose what to do with it" she felt bold she felt in control. After her parents approved of her becoming the Smithcrafter's apprentice, he offically took her in as his apprentice to
eventually take over his shop when the time comesArya learned everything she could from the master smith before he left this world. but she knew that all good things must end. she took his business and ran it like he had taught her with another girl like herself that was more flamboyant, she was going to be Arya's new master until she herself reached the level of skill required to become a master. When Arya's 17th birthday came around she knew, that smithcrafting wasn't for her. Being in a shop ever single day wasn't for her, she wanted adventure to explore places no one may have ever seen before.
Description:
Arya's hair is long and black usually tied back loosely with a piece of leather, and she has unusually bright hazel eyes that clash with her dark raven black hair. her face is oval shaped her hair falls accross her left eye, she perfers the left over the right, her features resemble those of a cat, her nose is a small button shaped,when her body is an athletic build , and proportionate for her age, she is strong as all blacksmiths are, she is the average height of a woman 5'4. Her clothes are i V-neck shirt with a leather smock over it with pants protecting her legs from the fire embers.
Personality:
I'm a dreamer, I love to dream! Of kitties, Dragons, of riders and how they may act. I have many flaws, i dont like my new master, shes too bright, to excessive. I dont believe I will ever get married. I alway seem to feel like I'm missing something important. I'm really picky with the customers I take in, i don't like the upper class, know-it-all- brats. I sometimes loose my temper, and I have little patience with people. I seem to forget important things, and dates.
there's only one thing that I really longs for, is companionship. Someone to talk to, someone to share my feelings with. I feel the need to be with someone, or something. it calls to my soul. it cries out for love. I can be alittle overdramatic, If a problem occurs I tend to overreact and frustrate myself over something so petty as breaking pieces of metal or making orders wrong.
Other:
arya LOVES fire :] and her favorite color is Green. and brown. earthy colors..
Edit: i changed most of it this morning. all of the things needed to be fixed.
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Posted: Thu Sep 16, 2010 12:56 pm
Welcome to Dragonflight. I'll just base this off of what you have here. Sorry if I repeat something already stated. ^_^
Age- Just something to be aware of, here on Pern, only a Candidate can Impress a dragon. That being said, a person may only be a candidate from the age of 12 Turns to 21 Turns. A Turn, being equivalent to one of our years. Be aware at 19 that she may age out before she Impresses.
Craft- You have this listed as her actually being a full fledged blacksmith. At 19 that may be a little unbelievable, not impossible but unlikely. On Pern, apprenticeships usually start at about 12 Turns, then if they've mastered the basics they'll be promoted to Journeyman status at about 16-17 Turns. From there it can vary to how long it'll take to get Mastery, and some never do. Also, if you wish her to Stand for Impressions then you'll need to add candidate to this section as well. Candidates are most commonly apprentices with a few being journeymen. I don't recall that masters have actually impressed. Usually, I think a Searchrider would bypass a full craftmaster. If you wish to correct this then apprentice or journeyman(depending upon what you decide) should be put in front of blacksmith. IE: apprentice blacksmith/candidate
History- While Arya may have lingered around the smith shop, I find it rather unlikely that the head smith would single her out as having "iron in your heart" the moment she walked in. It sounds a little too.... fantastical? You know, something like from a fairy tale. Perhaps she hung around until he started giving her small jobs to do and it simply progressed from there.
While her parents, may be displeased with their child's choice of craft, esply after they picked one for her, it is unlikely they would disown her. Still, you can leave it be and see what the staff says.
Also, I don't think he would have been the only smith there. That being said, when he died, Arya would have studied under the other smith. However, if you wish him to be the only on there, then she as a Journeyman at best(apprentice at worst) would not have been left on her own. A master would have been sent and perhaps she would have been sent to the Smithcraft Hall to learn her craft.
As it sounds Arya's smith master is alone, what is this council you speak of? Most crafts will accept apprentices without a hearing, unless they are the oldest son of a major Holder. Since she is not a boy, we needn't worry about that. I believe you can take that part out, as her smith accepted her as his apprentice and never sent her to Smithcraft Hall. He may have sent a letter stating he took an apprentice.
Now for the Searchrider. These are 'specialized' dragon/rider pairs who seek out youths to stand at Hatchings. It is actually the dragon whom has the intuition on which child might make a good rider. As such, when a clutch is due, they leave their Weyrs to look. Most often they seek places with a large number of children to look through. Holds are most common, crafthalls another as a large number of youths are there to learn a single craft. Now if Arya is the only smith there, and already 19 a rider may be reluctant to take her. That's why I suggested more smiths there then Arya and her master alone. If it is a really small settlement then a rider may pass it over as not having many likely choices. I hope this clarifies it some.
Where you wish her to start at the Hold or the Weyr? If you want her at the Weyr, then be sure to include in the history what happened when the Searchrider showed up and said she could Stand. Otherwise you can find someone who has a rider who'd be willing to do a Search rp to bring her to the Weyr.
Personality- You have a fair bit for your history and not so much for this section. This is important because personality determines if you Impress or not. Dragon matches are based upon personality. So the more you can give and put here the better chance a match will be made.
You also need to give her two definite flaws and two virtues. A short temper wont count as a flaw. What the staff is looking for can be found here. Again, browse through the approved characters to see what other people have done. You can talk about how she feels about people in authority, dragonriders,, flits, and standing for impression.
You say she is very shy, depending how shy this may be counted as a flaw, but then you say she's "around her loved ones she is outgoing, happy, even unpredictible." The problem I see with this is, the only person she really got to know was the smith. If customers don't talk to her much except for business and her birth family has rejected her then she has no one. She longs for companionship, but is that affected by her shyness?
x.x Sorry for this being so long! I hope it provides some guidance.
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Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2010 10:23 am
^^ Some good improvements here!
There's a part in her history that I'm afraid I'm not quite understanding, though:
and he spun around staring in Arya's eyes, his eyes glowed bright brown green like hers, he embraced her, he held her face in his hands, and stared at her, all time seemed to stop, he only said a few words "you..have iron in your heart..." she knew that saying will always be in her mind swirling around, his strong words meant the world to her, yet she didn't know what he meant by Iron in her heart..she didn't know what to say to him. she just stared at him, she felt like she was staring into his soul..he spun around and left.then is where she knew what she wanted to do with the rest of her life, work with steel. There was something special about him, there has only been rare instances of someone like him being there. she could only imagine what he was..something spectacular..
- I don't understand what he means by iron in her heart either; it's fine for her not to understand it, but you need to explain it to us so that on approval Skie knows it's not something weird that's going to come out of left field afterwards. XD
- I also don't understand how he could tell whatever it is by first looking at her; it seems a little peculiar for him to just grab a stranger and say that to them.
- What it is about the man that is is special and rare; are you implying that the younger taller man is a rider? If so, what was he doing there? Buying goods, or visiting old friends would both be quite reasonable. The last bit with him watching her on the street, honestly it seems a tad creepy to me, and I don't understand why he would be doing it unless maybe he was close to the old blacksmith, and wanted to keep an eye on how his apprentice was doing?
The expanded personality is good, but even more depth would be useful if you can manage it; I know it can be tough to put down a lot about a brand new character at the get go though XD
Maybe some stuff to put in
- Does her perfectionism go beyond the scope of her work? Do all of her belongings have to be just so, does she hate it when she makes any kind of mistake (in work, social on the occasions she does socilize and so on)?
- Does she resent that fact that people only come to her for work, and did the departure of the person she got close to affect her? Did it make it harder for her to trust, or on the other hand more willing to open up in an attempt not to be alone anymore?
- More about how she is with her friends? Is she happy as in perky, is she the joker of a group? On her unpredictable nature, maybe give an example of something fun she thought of for her friends to do on the spur of the moment, like maybe make a whole heap of bubbly pies (a Pernese dessert), or some kind of silly game with soot from the forge? Random examples, but you get the idea XD
- Maybe a bit about how her inability to say no has got her into trouble? A person who took, or takes, advantage of her and how she feels about that.
=D All in all, looking a ton better; keep it up! <3
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Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 7:05 am
Okay, fresh points!
History
By and large this looks fine now, just two little things:
Her family taught her little of dragons, and riders, but not the specifics.. her parents kept things from her, they believed that she wasn't one of those speical ones picked to ride a dragon.
- People not bonded to dragons can't tell who does and doesn't have the potential to Impress. However, they might still try to keep information from her if they disapproved of the idea of her being chosen as a candidate; there are people who don't like riders, believing they're just freeloaders basically XD On the other hand, they might have nothing much against riders but not want it for Arya as it isn't ladylike. Either way, or with a different twist, I think this bit can still work. I guess they could even believe that she didn't have the potential even though they have no actual way of knowing; people are weird like that. I guess this paragraph has just been a lot of ramble XD
When Arya's 17th birthday came around she knew, that smithcrafting wasn't for her. Being in a shop ever single day wasn't for her, she wanted adventure to explore places no one may have ever seen before.
- This seems like a bit of a sudden decision, going from loving smiting and everything about it to not wanting to do it anymore, especially mostly because she wants to explore the world; something that isn't done on Pern. To clear this up I can think of two options, one would be to indicate that she came to the decision that she didn't want to smith anymore slowly, but lacking any choice; this could then be resolved by her being Searched, and taking the chance at a new life. On the other hand it could be quite a sudden thing, perhaps triggered by seeing a dragon flying low for the first time or something like that. Again this would put her in a place where she'd want to go along with a Searchrider when they came to her hold <3
Got to go actually do some work now, hope this helps!
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