Composed this one around 3am-ish, thursday. Its about something that happened to me, and still haunts me. Be prepared, its not a happy one.
Insignificance
I hate the thoughts that fill my head,
Death might be my only friend.
I find I cant sleep at night,
Once great dreams now filled with fright.
You ruined my life that day,
You took all my innocence away.
Never thought to ask permission,
Guess you were on a mission.
Why must I pay,
When you’re the one who took it away?
I hate going to school anymore,
My friends left me for something more.
I refuse to cry a tear,
Since that horrid nights premier.
We were supposed to be friends,
But that’s at an end.
Why cant I forget,
The good times before the incident?
By all accounts you should be dead to me,
So why do you still breath?
Gods I wish I could cry,
Let loose the hurt gathered inside.
How could you do this to me,
Am I such a freak?
I need to get out,
Body, mind, town, and thought.
I hate this sick feeling I get,
When I see you in public.
It spreads over my skin like a disease,
Rashes spring up and panic seizes.
I want to go home and take a shower,
But my family wont answer when its most dire.
I rub my thighs and arms,
when worms feel like they crawl.
My panics at its worst,
I can’t breath for all I’m worth.
Bile rises in my throat,
Gods I’m going to choke.
He walks right by and doesn’t care,
How he put me in such disrepair.
Oh how I’ve been sunk so low,
I’m the scum on the bottoms of his boots, he treads on me as he goes.
My phone rings as if in the distance,
I answer it in an instance.
My moms on the other line,
She’s come to save me one last time.
She drives up to the school,
I act like I’m neutral.
No one knows unless I say,
How much I die inside each day.
I act ok when indeed I’m not,
I don’t want them to fret over nothing.
For that’s what I am,
Nothing more than a spec of sand.
Less insignificant then your very hand.
Insignificance
I hate the thoughts that fill my head,
Death might be my only friend.
I find I cant sleep at night,
Once great dreams now filled with fright.
You ruined my life that day,
You took all my innocence away.
Never thought to ask permission,
Guess you were on a mission.
Why must I pay,
When you’re the one who took it away?
I hate going to school anymore,
My friends left me for something more.
I refuse to cry a tear,
Since that horrid nights premier.
We were supposed to be friends,
But that’s at an end.
Why cant I forget,
The good times before the incident?
By all accounts you should be dead to me,
So why do you still breath?
Gods I wish I could cry,
Let loose the hurt gathered inside.
How could you do this to me,
Am I such a freak?
I need to get out,
Body, mind, town, and thought.
I hate this sick feeling I get,
When I see you in public.
It spreads over my skin like a disease,
Rashes spring up and panic seizes.
I want to go home and take a shower,
But my family wont answer when its most dire.
I rub my thighs and arms,
when worms feel like they crawl.
My panics at its worst,
I can’t breath for all I’m worth.
Bile rises in my throat,
Gods I’m going to choke.
He walks right by and doesn’t care,
How he put me in such disrepair.
Oh how I’ve been sunk so low,
I’m the scum on the bottoms of his boots, he treads on me as he goes.
My phone rings as if in the distance,
I answer it in an instance.
My moms on the other line,
She’s come to save me one last time.
She drives up to the school,
I act like I’m neutral.
No one knows unless I say,
How much I die inside each day.
I act ok when indeed I’m not,
I don’t want them to fret over nothing.
For that’s what I am,
Nothing more than a spec of sand.
Less insignificant then your very hand.
