Welcome to Gaia! ::

To be quite honest, I enjoy porn. I find it arrousing, pleasurable, and entertaining. However, I must say that I enjoy erotica far more - especially Erotic Literature, which comes with (le gasp!) plotlines, character developement, and an alluring premise.

Now, I know a lot of people who get upset about porn - both men and women - and who claim that it objectifies [insert gender here] as sex objects.

OF COURSE IT DOES.

To those who complain about porn sexualizing [insert gender here], I have to call BS. Pornography is of a sexual nature. As such, it sexualizes. Pornography is generally about pure, animalistic, rutting in the mud sex, despite what meager attempts certain directors have made to create plot.

Hmm. I've completely lost where I was going with this. A little help, someone?

Now, about the cheap thrills part - No, men don't only want cheap thrills. Sure, cheap thrills are fun, but it's like alcohol: too much and you'll be throwing up in the ditch outside of the seven eleven, while trying to sing showtunes through your nose.

I love relationships. I love the feeling of being loved, and I love to show love in return. It is always fun, however, to inject a little [read: buttload] of cheap thrills into loving scenarios.

Personally, I have found that women see porn as a threat in a similar way that men see sex toys as a threat.

Let me explain.

With porn, women tend to think that men are looking at "perfect" women, so how can she compare? It's like watching those commercials about Red Lobster and then going into the restaurant to be served something that looks like it was frozen in the back of the freezer at some god-awful prehistoric time.

Women seem to think that porn is better than the real "dish" so to speak.

However, most men, as I've realised, think of porn as simply a "get-off tool." I've met very FEW men who actually have a sexual attraction to their porn, and I've met a LOT of men who use it as a tool without telling their girlfriends or significant others because they don't want to be dumped.

The fact is, most of the time, women in a relationship will feel that porn is "competition" or "better" or get jealous of the porn because she looks at it in a completely different way.

I remember dating someone who used to show me the Hentai Picture of the Day. It made me feel really inferior because there were these girls with huge boobs and teeny waists, and even my massive boobies were no match for theirs. Not to mention that I could never get that skinney without breaking in half.

No matter how unrealistic this porn picture was, it was still very haunting to me at the time. Women are pelted with SO many unrealistic images of what is "good" and "sexy" from television, so this was just one more unattainable goal.

It made me very sad.

But after breaking up with the above mentioned boyfriend, I ended up staying friends with him. He would send me H-Manga from time to time, and I like some of it (because it's mostly humorous stuff with storyline with sex in it). But a lot of it is merely "meh" because, in the end, I've stopped trying to "compete" with porn women and have resigned myself to knowing that I will never, and CAN never look like them, nor be them for the person that I love.

I suppose that's ok, but there's still a little feeling of inferiority inside of me.

Truth be told, I wish that I was really thin with small boobs and soft curves and looked really sexy in jeans and a speghetti strap tank top.

But that would probably cost about 50,000 dollars in surgery to obtain.

Sexiness is often quite expensive.

Yes, but I find the sexiest women are natural beauties(thos with little to no work done to them). Perhaps I am wrong?

Trust me, Oni, you're right on the tool description. That's why we men fall in love with and lust after women that are very different from the average pornstar.

Most guys, like me, don't get off because the woman's hot (well, not just because of it), but because she's having sex with someone we imagine is ourselves. (Or not, depending on if you'd rather keep it a spectator sport in that case. I'd rather not imagine the former, because it just doesn't fit with me.)

Just a tool to get off. Women in a film or picture willing to do everything we want, no matter how twisted it may be. We know we can't find women like that in real life, and most of us don't want to. Sure, willing is a nice quality, but, let's face it, we ourselves aren't willing to fulfill a woman's every fantasy, are we, guys? When it comes to relationships, men have tastes that differ from their "perfect porn woman".

Proof of these statements? How about this little fact: for every femenine body type there is, there is a fetish, and men and women who are attracted to it. Same goes vice-versa. Some girls dig the fatties, the chubbies, the skinnies, the dorks, the hunks, the young and the old.

Believe me, Oni. You're very different from girls in H and porn. And that's one of the reasons I find you sexy. heart