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"Introduction" Collab Original Script

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Lorika
Captain

Married Lunatic

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  • Timid 100
  • Bookworm 100
  • Friendly 100
PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 8:00 am


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The Original Comic Script Thread!


Yup, this pretty much explains itself. I'm putting the original script for the failed "Introduction" comic collab up here where everyone can see!

Everybody have a scroll down and a nice read. I've also written down all the inside jokes used in case you miss/don't get them!

Have fun~

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 8:01 am


Manga Script

First page:

(The first page opens with a shot of sunset over the ocean. The next shot features two seagulls, their cries ringing through the air. A woman's face becomes visible; though her eyes are hidden by shadow, her expression is forlorn, perhaps accompanied by a small sigh. The camera pulls back to reveal a side shot of a whitewashed building with steps and a platform before the front door: it is here that Lorika stands, her form now fully visible.)



Second page:

(A blurred shot of the seagulls sweeping across the sky is accompanied by a narration box.)

Narration: How long has it been...?

(The rest of the page is black.)



Third Page:

(The Sentinel's room in her church HQ. It is dark, with ominously flickering candles scattered around.)

Sentinel: Minion?! MINION!

(A severely bruised and battered minion covered in bandages limps into sight.)

Minion: ... Yes, Mistress?

Sentinel: (She glowers at him) I grow impatient, you worthless worm. Are those fools beginning to weaken?

Minion: (He looks terrified) I-I don't know, Mistress! It... it is as if... we are in a stalemate... we cannot beat each other...


Fourth page:

(The Sentinel knocks over a table of candles in her anger.)

Sentinel: Unacceptable! I would have thought an army as vast as mine would be able to defeat my ancient enemy! You are all worthless! Worthless!

Minion: Oh boy, here we go aga-

Sentinel: WORTHLESS! (The minion is blown through a wall.)


Fifth page:

(A shot of the Sentinel huffing in anger from the other side of the damaged wall.)

Sentinel: That's enough. It's time I took this into my own hands.

(The scene switches to the Overseer's main tent; a rather lavish, light place with aqua and gold ribbons streaming from the supports. The tent is alive with activity and laughter; off to one side is Ginoverseer being sponge bathed in a large tub by two unidentifiable females. This is all visible at once in the same panel.)


Sixth page:

(A shot of Ginoverseer's clam head with an exclamation point beside it. In the next shot, the people giving the Overseer a sponge bath are revealed to be none other than Kira_Megane and Nii Amikasame.)

Nii: What's the matter, my lord? Are you not enjoying your bath?

Overseer: No. There is something afoot. Our enemy approaches.

(Ginoverseer leaps from the bath, trademarked shininess, uh, shining.)

Overseer: The time has come! We must face the darkness head on!


Seventh page:

(Ginoverseer strides outside amidst a flurry of activity. Speech bubbles indicate that the BOOs are worried about the state of their clothing; "Omg! What if my heel snaps?!" "I can't go outside - the wind will ruin my hair!" "Where's my top hat?!")

Overseer: Come along, troops! The time has come! Where are my right hands? Lorika! Inu!

(The two appear.)

Inu: We're right here, sir.

Overseer: Excellent. Then - we march!


Eighth page:

(Four shots dominate the page: The first of the BOO forces marching in an unbroken line, all or as many as possible recognisable faces present. The second shot shows the Sentinel's forces marching in the reverse direction - their line is not as solid. Both forces have their god at the head. The next shot shows solely Ginoverseer's face - the final shot shows the Sentinel's in the opposing direction. These two forces are coming together to clash.)


Ninth page:

(A front shot of the BOO line, Ginoverseer in the center and recognisable faces again.)

Lorika: I think it's time, Overseer.

Overseer: You're quite correct, my child.

(The Sentinel's face splits into a large, catlike grin.)

Sentinel: Such a pathetic form you now possess, my Overseer! Why, I almost feel sorry about having to destroy you. Who ever felt pleased about crushing a worm? How have the thousand years treated you, my FRIEND? Hm? Why don't you ask how they've treated ME, O Wise and Benevolent One?!

(While the Sentinel says all this, the Overseer detaches himself from Gino and hops to the ground. Gino is caught by the two ladies, though others reach out to help.)

Overseer: Take care of him. Do not fear for me.


Tenth page:

(A shot with the Overseer clam in focus and the Sentinel in the background, blurred. Despite the perspective, the Overseer is still obviously very small compared to his enemy. The second panel is a closeup on the Sentinel's cruel eyes.)

Sentinel: This ends now.

(The middle of the page is taken up by a horizontal panel which is dominated by a ray of hellish energy that streaks from the Sentinel to the Overseer, hitting him squarely. In a small panel mirroring the Sentinel's previous eye-shot, she gleefully watches him consumed by the energy. The final panel, however, shows an ominous shape within the light... an ominous shape resembling a person wearing a very tall hat...)


Eleventh page:

(The Overseer leaps from out of the light. In the same shot, we see the Sentinel's face widening with shock, but it's too late - the Overseer knocks her to the ground. Cut to a shot of a group of recognisable faces.)

Nico: OMG! HE'S HOT!! (Collapsing from a nosebleed)

Erik: (Catching him) Nico, this is no time to- OMG, HE'S HOT!!!

Hana: O-Overseer! <3

obsessedpanda: WooooooOVERSEER! Go for it, man! God, clam... thing.


Twelfth page:

(Sentinel, pinned beneath the Overseer, bares her teeth, struggling.)

Sentinel: L-let go of me!

Overseer: No.

(The Sentinel glares up at him. The Oveeseer looks back sadly.)

Overseer: This has gone on too long, Sentinel. Can't you see what we've done? Look where the path of hatred has brought us. It isn't too late. We could go back to what we were. My dear friend - I still love you. Why can't we work together again?

(The Sentinel stares up at him, her expression strangely blank. It is as if she is remembering a long-lost time - her face has lost its cruelty.)


Thirteenth page:

(A closeup of the Sentinel's mouth.)

Sentinel: ...You were always the one.

(The Overseer looks surprised, and she continues.)

Sentinel: You were always the perfect, precious little one. So kind, so wise. I see how they stare at you, eyes filled with adoration, even after so many years. So many long years. You want us to work together again?

(Her fingers tighten around his arm.)

Sentinel: (Her blank expression contorts into a howl of rage.) Over my dead body!


Fourteenth page:

(The Overseer is flung from her by a powerful force. A shot of BOO's army, charging forwards. The panels give an impression of speed.)

Dart: Attack! We attack!

(The rest of the page is taken up by an aerial shot of the two armies charging towards eachother, carefully leaving a ring where the gods are doing battle.)


Fifteenth page:

(A montage of battle. Catalyste, her eyes wild, fires a holy arrow into an aggressor. Sushi and Darkrose tag-team a demonic SINner. Bookie puts a SINner on ice with a torrent of freezing water.)


Sixteenth page:

(More battle montage. chemistry35 is injured on the ground in front of his attacker. Lorika steps forward calmly, reaching out to touch the SINner lightly on the arm. He is immediately pacified. She heals chemistry's wounds, before turning to regard the gods, who can be seen grappling in their circle.)


Seventeenth page:

(The Overseer kicks the Sentinel off him and raises his trident. The Sentinel has produced a black sword. The two clash twice, and then their weapons go flying away, landing with a clank together, blades pointing into the ground.)


Eighteenth page:

(The two gods look at eachother. The Sentinel's posture goes rigid, and she moves into a martial pose. The Overseer stands up straight.)

Overseer: This will never work, Sentinel. We are completely matched. We are meant to work in harmony. If we continue to fight, some terrible tragedy will -

Sentinel: Spare me, O Wisest of All Molluscs! Spare me and put up your fists!


Nineteenth page:

(The Sentinel flies at the Overseer. Before she can reach him, however, a huge, black shape knocks her away.)

Jack: (Unseen) Hello, my kittenssss! Have we had a good time?

Sentinel: (On the ground) You-! What are you doing here?! I was about to exact my revenge!

Jack: (A closeup of his face, grinning) Your revenge is meaninglessss to me.


Twentieth page:

Overseer: Who are you? Why do you intercede with-

Jack: Sssssilence, little clam man. I have come to call an end to these shenaniganssss.

Sentinel: (rushing forward) WHAT?! But we had a deal!

Jack: (rounding on her, grinning still) You know asss well asss I do that dealssss can be broken. Now!


Twentyfirst page:

(Jack picks up the two gods as if they are dolls, whacks their heads together painfully, and throws them into the sky. The shots cut to a group of SIN and BOO combatants. Miyumi Aurealis is on the floor beneath iGrunny around the center of the panel.)

Miyumi: Overseer! No!

Grunny: Hey, is he ALLOWED to do that?!

(Jack cackles madly, but is interrupted by a shoe being thrown at his head.)

Vindictive Fire: (Unseen) Hey, you!


Twenty second page:

Vindictive Fire: What do you think you're doing?! Where'd you send our gods?!

Jack: (Bending down to come face to face with her) Ahhh, my dear little one... that is for me to know, and all of you to find out.

(With that, he sweeps her up.)

VF: HEY! Put me down!

(Jack runs off, cackling madly again. There is uproar - some groups detach and chase Jack, but all lay aside their arms and rush around madly.)


Twenty third page:

(Cut to a group of familiar faces: Lorika, Inu, I-Queen-I, Nico [on the floor] and Erik, with perhaps some others in the background. All are looking at eachother, with the exception of Lorika, who stares ahead, horrified. Queen is looking at her, reaching out.)

Queen: Lori! This is madness! What do we do?!

Queen: ....Lori?!

(Lorika snaps out of a trancelike state, and looks around.)

Lorika: Gather as many as you can. We must leave quickly, before we are overwhelmed by SIN's forces.

Nico: Those idiots will never group themselves in time!

Lorika: I'd rather not take any chances.


Twenty fourth page:

(Many familiar faces fleeing the battlefield. Some SINners detach and follow, but they are picked off by Catalyste's arrows.)


Twenty fifth page:

(Walking through Durem. A random guy looks at the group of around 100.)

Guy: Hey, look! It's the last of the BOO army! What's the matter, your stupid clam too busy digging himself a hole to teach you how to fight?!

(An overripe tomato hits Harpsiccord in the face. The random guy laughs, until the lithe, girlish avatar punches him in the face with all the strength of a power lifter.)


Twenty sixth page:

(The crowd struggle to fit inside The Fishing Hole. Cut to inside, Lorika is talking to Logan.)

Lorika: Logan, we need to borrow a boat. We need to get as far away from here as possible...

Logan: Well, I haven't got a boat to fit all of yeh, so yeh can scram!

(Mirai pokes her head out of a back room)

Mirai: Let them have what they need, dad. They're on our side, after all.

Erik: Hey, where were you when we needed yo-? (Nico claps a hand over his mouth.)

Lorika: (At Logan) Anything you could spare would really be a help, sir.


Twenty seventh page:

(Lorika, in the present, is shaken out of her reverie by the sound of the church door opening. She turns around, to see Kamika emerging. Kamika gives her a small smile.)

Kamika: Knock knock.

(Lorika inclines her head in reply. Kamika steps towards her, looking out towards the sea.)


Twenty eigth page:

Kamika: It's beautiful, isn't it?

Lorika: The perfect place for us.

Kamika: ...We're all waiting for you inside.

Lorika: I know.

Kamika: We're all here for you. Just do your best, okay?

Lorika: I know...


Twenty ninth page:

(Lorika follows Kamika into the dark, greenish church. Everyone turns to face them. Lorika approaches the altar, bows before it, and then turns.)

Lorika: My friends - the battle may not have ended in our favour, but we have not truly lost. As long as we stay together and keep on trying, the battle will NEVER truly be lost.


Thirtieth page:

Lorika: I know we are all disheartened. I know we have been chased through our own home like verminous dogs. I know that we are greatly outnumbered, and that the strength of evil is not one to be trifled with. I also know that we were able to stay afloat throughout the entire war, through the strength of our friendship, courage and conviction alone. Those are all things more important than brute force.

Now, I propose to you this - we keep on striving. We keep on working. We stay together, and we carve for ourselves and for Gaia a better, happier, kinder world. All in the name of our absent Overseer.

(The crowd cheer.)

Lorika: I swear on my life... this is far from over.


END.

Lorika
Captain

Married Lunatic

13,950 Points
  • Timid 100
  • Bookworm 100
  • Friendly 100

Lorika
Captain

Married Lunatic

13,950 Points
  • Timid 100
  • Bookworm 100
  • Friendly 100
PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 8:02 am


Running jokes which appear in the comic:


These jokes are inside jokes from Intelligent Resistance, and will be familiar to most of the oldbies, but perhaps not to all you lovely, fresh acolytes! So I thought I'd pop a few explanations in here.



Pages 3-4: The sorely abused minion.

This joke was actually started by me. During the thread I made a point of writing short scripts for the Sentinel and a nondescript minion whenever things appeared to be going badly for SIN. These scripts would always end with a clip that expressed the Sentinel's anger aptly, and the Minion subsequently being punished severely.




Page 7: BOO are too worried about their appearance to be effective in combat.

This joke was started by Nico Says Things. Basically, he proposed a theory that BOO were just too beautiful to win, which got picked up on a few more times during the thread.




Pages 11 + 26: Nico and Erik

Yeah, these two have chemistry going on! They should be a double act!




Page 23: Madness?

>___> In case no one picked up on it...

THIS. IS. *gets shot*




Page 25: Harp's a GUY?!

Yeah, anyone who was present ~100-200 pages will recall this scenario - the lithe, girlish avatar masking a surprise!

Harp ttly pwned you, Nico.



Aaand that's basically it! =D For more inside jokes from the IRT, be sure to visit this thread!
PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:01 am


LINKS OUT:



Introduction Collaboration recruitment thread [ARCHIVE] can be found here.

Introduction Collab thread [ARCHIVE] can be found here.

Introduction novelisation can be found here.

Lorika
Captain

Married Lunatic

13,950 Points
  • Timid 100
  • Bookworm 100
  • Friendly 100

Lorika
Captain

Married Lunatic

13,950 Points
  • Timid 100
  • Bookworm 100
  • Friendly 100
PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 12:07 pm


Now open for discussion!
PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 8:16 pm


Yay, I was included...and got injured...and healed! It's just like me playing Left 4 Dead!

chemistry35

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