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 Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 2:27 pm
DEAR JOURNAL
I Y ' A M F A R I S Dear Book-thingy!
I hit a boy when I was out with Little Robin.
I hit him right in the face because he was saying things about me mostly. I don't know why it mades me so upset ... It just did. Kept sayin' horrible things and had very bad mouth. He probably doesn't has anyone that loves him and if he does he probably hurts them a lot...I feel sorries for them.
I am scareds about what Shifu Chan will say abouts this. He doesn't approve of his students lashing out against people likes that because he says it turns them into an even bigger monster than they are. I don't want to be a monster. I want to protect peoples and help them. Why did he makes me so angry for? I woulda been just fine if he was just ... nicer.
...Why is he so mean...?
Robin and him seemed to get along real well. Makes me worry ... What if Robin turns into someone like that boy?
Ugh.
I has lessons with him again soon. I shall probably has to tell him but I don't wanna...
xxxx
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Posted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 2:28 pm
BEING THE BIGGER PERSON
I S H A R D ! Shifu Chan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he stopped Faris from her sloppily performed kicks and pointed sternly for her to go sit on her mat, "Sit there, and do not move. Meditate. Maybe it will bring some sense into your foolish head and help you listen to what I am trying to teach you," he said somewhat waspishly which made Faris flinch after she stopped. She obediently moved and sat down on her mat and tried to focus her mind on meditating which was hard to do when the Asian man moved to stand before her and simply stare.
There was something of about her behavior - he was aware of her issues with her growth but there was something else. A guilt that he could sense so after a moment of watching her wiggle about uncomfortably under his stare and finally look up at him questioningly.
"What did you do to shame yourself, Child?" Shifu Chan demanded the information straight away without beating around the bush or being gentle about it. It would waste both of their time if he did. Faris frowned a bit and tilted her gaze away.
She honestly didn't wish to tell him and up until recently they had gotten along well and she was even among his star pupils due to her hard work and understanding of the art thus far. Faris took in a deep breath before she gazed up at her Shifu and answered, "I hits someone because he was bein' means to me and my brother...Mostly me...I gots angry and hit him." Faris clenched her eyes shut and waited for her Master to yell at her or even reprimand her in some fashion.
When there was no reaction she opened her eyes and saw a disappointed look on her Master's face and it stung more than a physical lashing ever could. She bowed her head a bit and mumbled, "I sorries. I knows I did bad. I was spos'ed to stay calms and I let my anger get best of mes."
Shifu Chan crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at his pupil, "You will apologize to the person that you had hurt."
Faris' eyebrows gathered a bit as she stared up at her master, "I dunno where he lives thoughs," she uttered shifting a bit in her dismay. Her Master shrugged as if it was not his concern and in a way it wasn't.
"Nothing stops you from writing a letter to give them if you ever see them again," he replied and moved to his desk and got out a bit of parchment and a pen, he handed them to her when he moved to stand in front of her, "I will not teach you further until you finish writing that letter."
Faris made a bit of a face and nodded before she started to write. It took a lot of time because she kept writing insults at the start. Things like 'Dear Stupidface', and 'Dear Brokeface' until she finally started the letter in a manner that was approved by the Shifu. Letter to Tek Hellos,
I didn't mean to hits you in the face and break it all up and make you all bloody and stuff. I lets my anger get the best of me and I shouldn't have. Though you deserved it I still shouldn't have let you control me like that. I hope one day you learn that there are things better than insulting others and making them feels bad.
I hope your face healed and you don't scare small puppies with it anymore.
Signed,
Faris Faris finished the note though Shifu Chan made her cross out most of the last part.
"You will keep that letter on you at all times and when you find him or where he lives you will hand it to him, understood?" The elder man asked as he stared at his pupil. Faris nodded showing she understood though she made at a bit of a face which he responded to with a smirk. "You are free to go for the evening. Make sure to practice your techniques before your next lessons, I won't stand for any more sloppy work."
Faris nodded eagerly and then gathered her things so she could wander home.
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Posted: Sat Oct 30, 2010 3:18 am
Locale: The Blue Moose
Characters in play: Faris & Evari Thats My Girl~!
Faris and Evari finally see each other again and many unexpected events occur.
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Posted: Sat Oct 30, 2010 3:19 am
DEAR JOURNAL
I Y ' A M F A R I S Dear Book-thingy!
'Vari came to visits with me. I missed her very much.
We talked some about some stuff about mes but somehow it became somethin' else. I dunno why but it mades me angry and stuffs when Evari admitted to bein' a certain way with others. I just...I suddenly got very upset and hurt and...
I didn't wants to share her. So tired of sharing 'Vari with everyone.
Tired of everyone thinking that they shouldn't tell me things about what they do cause they're scareds of what I think of them. I am not stupids and I'd never leave anyone just cause they...Do things.
I kissed 'Vari, dunno if it was right thing to do...It felt right an I was happy to do it but still...I told 'Vari I'd wait for her til' she's done doin' things with other peoples because I didn't want to make her choose or somethin'.
I want her to be with me only but maybe that's a silly thing to want? I don't even know how to be with someones that way. What if I do it completely wrong and scare her off? What if I can't make her happy and stuff? I know she'll love mes no matter what and stuff, she's my best friend and stuffs and I hope that never changes.
'm a little scared and don't know if do right things for others or myself.
Maybe I should haves waited?
No...'Vari needed to hear these things. I am happy I said them. I look forwards to seein' her again. Yis.
She bought me a pretty new scarf, I wear it everytime I gets a chance. She also bought me a movie and a new game. She gots me the Gargoyles Boxsets.
Now I know why my brothers were being such jerkfaces.
xxxx
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Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 6:41 am
Locale: A Classroom
Characters in play: Faris & Victoria Sewn in Support
Faris meets with a very Pregnant Tori in a sewing class.
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Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2010 9:47 am
Locale: The Blue Moose
Characters in play: Faris & Tarot
Guest Starring: Severus Dinner time at the Moose
Faris meets a small girl named Tarot while working.
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Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 11:42 am
BIRDS AND THE BEES
T A K I N G T U R N F O R T H E A W K W A R D Luis had been pushing it off at least for a small while until Faris talked to the people that the girl obviously needed to talk to. The people the Gargoyle considered her friends. It was a time where a Gargoyle didn't need her mother at least not until others beat some sense into her and if they had failed then Luis would step in and take matters into her own hands. Thankfully things seemed to have gotten into some sort of semblance of normal and Faris was starting to become more accepting of her gender (sort of). With that acceptance would eventually come ideas and thoughts and the Satyress wasn't quite ready to have little Gargoyles running about so early within either of their lives.
Thus now they sat at the dining room table together both staring into their respective cups. Luis gazed up at Faris and made eye contact for a brief moment before it was broken again. It felt so awkward especially when Critter ran about in the background for the first part of the talk screaming 'SEXSTALKEXTALKSEXTALK.'
It had taken a very firm threat to take his beloved umbrella-wife before the Nutbar backed off and went to do something else that didn't involve possible harm to himself or his wife. It seemed even Critter was gaining some sort of gender identity.
After a moment or two Luiseach sighed and looked up at Faris, "Y'know how to stay safe, aye? To not do anythin' yer not ready for."
Faris blushed and nodded her head as she stared into her cup, "I knows. I be good, I promises," she murmured softly as she looked up at her mother. "S'how babies are made yah?" Faris wasn't dumb or slow. She knew that inside the bellies of many women were actually small infants that were waiting to be born, even her friend Victoria had such a belly.
"Do y'know how the babies are made?" Luis asked and Faris blushing a bit deeper seemed to answer her question and she gave a small amused chuckle and tilted her head away a bit as if to think. "The baby happens between a man and a woman, usually. Hopefully they love each other when it happens..."
Faris nodded slowly as she listened and shifted a bit restlessly in her seat, "I ... I kinda knows about that..I mean I watches enough of the movies to kinda get an idea..." She interjected hoping to save herself from further awkwardness.
The Satyress paused and stared at her daughter before she laughed a bit, "T's far different in real life, lass. T's often a weird and awkward act t'perform even on the best of circumstances."
She blushed more and sunk into her seat a bit avoiding hurting her wings in the act, "I..I sees.." was all the response she could muster. Would Evari want to be that way with her? Would it be clumsy there as well? Faris felt uncertain and confused, "S..So if Evari an' I...?"
There was a shocked pause, "Evari and you?"
Faris nodded slowly as she peered over at her mother only to see the woman smiling a bit and chuckling which made Faris blush more and raise her hands to hide her face, "I ... don't wants to do stuff with her til' she is only with mes a-and...not until I'm readies."
Luis stopped chuckling and stared at her daughter, "Not laughin' at ye, child. More laughin' at m'self. Shoulda seen it comin', but as long as ye both are happy," she said quietly with a small shrug. Luis was worried in more ways than one but in a way she needed her daughter to live and learn so she didn't intervene on the relationship in any way. It would just drive Faris away. "I'm here for ye when ye need me. Always."
The Gargoyle relaxed slowly as she looked up at her mother and smiled a little, "Thank yas, mama." She stood and moved over to hug the Satyress over the shoulders and nuzzled her mother's cheek, "Can I goes practice now?"
Luis leaned into her daughter's affections with a small laugh, "Aye. I suppose so. Just remember t'come to me for questions and advice if any is needed."
"I wills," Faris promised and kissed her mother on the cheek before she moved away and went to get into her practice clothes before she went outside.
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Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 11:43 am
CLEANING THE BOWL
S A R S O N I S A R E A L N I N J A !
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Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 11:44 am
WHO'S THAT GIRL?
T H A T Y O U T H I N K Y O U L O V E ? !  Luis peeked into Faris' room before she finally wandered in with a bit of clothing draped on her arm. She quietly wandered closer to where the Gargoyle draped on her bed reading graphic novels and looking a little bored for the most part. Luis dropped the clothing onto her head with a small smirk and watched as her Daughter squeaked out of surprise and sat up a bit to remove the articles of clothing from her head being careful so that her horns didn't pierce the cloth and ruined them.
"What's this fors?" Faris asked as she sat up while removing the earbuds of her mp3 player from her ears and began to look the clothing over. The girl's eyebrow raised a bit as she looked them over, "Issa dress," she said dryly before her mother could answer.
The Satyress smiled and crossed her arms over her chest, "A dress tailored for yer wings and other things, love. There ain't no reason why y'can't wear a dress now and again," she said simply. "If'n ye'd humor me and try it on I'll make yer favorite dinner," Luis added with a bit of a sly expression. She wanted her daughter to see that she was indeed pretty and that it was indeed okay to be a girl and to wear girly things. Luis often faulted herself for letting her daughter fall into the line of thinking she had fallen into. Not that Luis had anything against anyone that identified themselves more as a boy or as a girl but her daughter...
It wasn't exactly like those people. Not in the strictest sense of the word. Faris had simply fallen into an identity where she apparently had felt more accepted but wasn't truly her. She had been misguided and perhaps that was a bit of her fault. Nothing Faris did was truly that of a young man growing within a young woman's body. Certainly the girl had a small breakdown at the appearance of certain growths but that was all done with now. Whatever reasoning and disillusion the girl was under was ... mostly gone.
Faris shifted a bit on her bed and looked the clothes over skeptically before she nodded a bit, "Okays," she relented and waved for her mother to leave the room so she could have some privacy.
Luis smirked as she stared at her daughter, "Y'promise to show me once it is on right?"
The Gargoyle nodded and gestured more firmly for her mother to make an exit. Finally Luis left laughing all the while.
After she was alone she looked the clothes over once more with a bit of a frown. She had endured bra shopping and even shopping for more ... dainty looking under things (which she secretly liked) but now she had to humor her mother and put on this dress and the tights that came with it. Faris sighed softly as she pulled out the full length mirror and began to strip down and change into the new more foreign set of clothing.
Once everything was on and situated in a manner that could loosely be described as comfortable she stared at herself in the mirror with a bit of a tilt to her head. She felt something strange when she caught sight of herself in the mirror in terms of a more feminine form it wasn't like before when she felt frightened and horrified of the betrayal of her own body as it went through a change. Faris swished from side to side as she looked at herself in the mirror and eventually did a small twirl, she felt girly but not the giddy sort of girly that might be expected from someone that might have been more excited to be a girl. It was the feeling one got when they finally came to terms with something about themselves.
Faris was a girl. She would always be a girl and there was nothing (short of surgery) that would change that fact. The Gargoyle now realized that she was growing out of the idea of being a boy and that she was never honestly a boy but she had so badly wanted to fit in and be able to play like the others were. It looked like a fun sport and she wanted to play again. She was afraid that they'd treat her more delicately and hadn't gone back to play again. That was not the kind of woman she wanted to be.
The Gargoyle stepped closer to the mirror and pressed her hand upon the surface as she stared. She had been behaving like those frightened little damsels that she had so loathed and wanted to avoid being. She frowned at the image a little she would not be scared of herself anymore nor would she allow herself to be so vulnerable to people that had hurt her before (mostly just one boy who she had punched in the face) and would simply let things roll off her back. At least she would try to it wouldn't happen overnight nor did she expect it to.
Faris would be her own girl and follow her own rules where that is concerned. She would make her own sets of rules and how she will live and not let anyone else talk her into being someone or something else ever again. She would go back and play football again with the boys and if they tried to keep her from doing so she'd just find someone else to play football with. It wasn't like they were the only group in the park that played the game and she would show them that she was no longer desperate for their acceptance.
After a few more moments of staring she stepped away from the mirror and fussed with her hair a bit before she exited her room and went out to the living room where her mother sat waiting. Luis had ushered the boys out so that Faris wouldn't feel even more self-conscious than she already did. Faris stood in front of her mother and held her arms open. Luis reached up a hand and made a twirling motion with her fingertip.
"Do a little spin f'mama," Luis said with a small chuckle. Faris gave her mother a deadpan stare but obliged the Satyress. Once she got a good all around view Luis was pleased, "It looks good, girlie," she replied with a small smile. She stood up and moved toward her daughter reaching out to gently toy with the girl's hair a bit by pushing some of the bangs from the dark gray face, "No matter what ye are no one can change who ye are. I'll always love ye as will yer brothers," she cupped her daughter's cheeks and leaned to kiss the Gargoyle's forehead. "Yer our Faris always an forever."
Faris reached up and gripped her mother's wrist and smiled a bit, a couple of tears dropped from the corners of her eyes. Everyone had been so kind and patient with her she wasn't sure how she'd ever thank them. She moved closer to her mother and hugged her quietly, "C-can I helps cook dinner?"
Luis blinked and wrapped her arms around her child and hugged her close, "Of course ye can baby. You're always my best and greatest helper," she said affectionately as she pressed another kiss to her daughter's temple before she pulled away a bit and then moved to lead the way to the kitchen with Faris following a step or two behind. It was a rare and precious bonding moment between mother and daughter.
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Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:12 pm
DEAR JOURNAL
I Y ' A M F A R I S Dear Book-thingy!
Thoughts about herself and feelings about her mother..
xxxx
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