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Edit: For those who have read the below story. Here's the update. I saw him for the first time since the kiss. We were up all night talking on facebook then went for breakfast the next morning with some friends of mine. I locked my keys in my car... gonk So we had to stand around for half an hour waiting for my brother to bring my spares. Then I dropped him off at his house. Hugged him goodbye, and I kissed him this time, but just a peck... Anyway, he was about to get out of the car, and he asked me if I wanted to go out with him. Which I understood to be a poor translation of will you be my girlfriend (he's french) and I froze. I wasn't expecting him to ask me that so soon. I told him I really like him, and I enjoy hanging out with him, but I didn't think I was ready for a relationship. And he said okay, and left.

I feel like such a b***h...Like I know it's been 2 months now. But I haven't seen him every weekend. I don't feel like I really know him yet. And worse, I really feel like I'm not ready for a commitment. I think Love is half luck and timing. And I'm worried if I agree to be his girlfriend, then the love of my life will ask me out and I'll have to say no because I have a boyfriend. I know it's stupid. Here I am all upset that I'm single and missing being in a relationship so much, and this guy wants to be my boyfriend and I shoot him down. It;s been nearly a year since I got dumped, and I'm so messed up.

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Just need to put my thought down. Well it would help to know that I got dumped by my first love about...gosh 9 months ago now. Well despite it being THAT long already, I'm still pretty messed up. I was only officially with him for 7 months, only dated for maybe 8. I was so madly in love with him. Like nothing in the world mattered as long as I had him I felt unbreakable. He told me he loved me, and he never wanted to lose me, then he dumped me in a text. I not only lost my love, but my entire second family.

Anyway, after a few months of being extremely depressed I tried to get back out there. I dated a few guys and they were all hot and sweet and really in to me but I was just completely uninterested. Not sure if it's because I'm still heart broken or there just wasn't any chemistry. Each guy I met and felt nothing for I felt more hopeless. I thought I felt a spark after one really fun date but then it died shortly after.

This finally leads us to my current dilema. I met this guy. Well, my friend somehow was talking about me and he was interested so they invited me over to watch TV and them drink beer. (Haven't had my license for a full 2 years so zero tolerance for me) Then he asked me to go for breakfast with him the next weekend. Then I invited him to come to the dog park xd Then I was invited over to watch a scary movie with him, his friends, my best friend and her fiance. After only 2 unofficial dates I felt like resting my head on his shoulder. It was weird. I was afraid I only felt that way because I miss that companionship so much. So for halloween we all went to someone's apt. I was designated driver so I was sober while everyone else got openly drunk.

Well he finally opened up and we really got to know each other. Then his female friend comes over and starts picking my brain, asking me if I like him, and telling me how much he likes me, and when are we gona kiss it's been forever. Then she asks me if he tries to kiss me would I push him away and I said no, she jumped up and was happy with that, which had me very worried. Then his guy friend comes over and starts saying how perfect we are for each other cause we both like dogs, and he's such a good guy, and he keeps talking about me, and he really like me and some other drunken stuppers, then he takes off and leaves us standing there just the two of us. He turn to me and says "it's true, I really do like you" I tell him I like him too, then awkwardly say that I'm still kind of on the rebound and I just want to get to know him and enjoy hanging out with him. We stood there in awkward silence again and then reintegrated ourselves with the crowd.

He continued to hit on me all night, but when he put his arm around me for a photo it felt oddly comfortable. Then when I was about to leave with my friend, she was held hostage so he could walk me to my car. I hugged him goodbye and then he kissed me, and I kissed him back, and... I thought I felt a spark.

I can't stop thinking about him. But I'm scared I'm getting over exited here. I'm scared it'll turn out to be nothing like all the others. I'm scared I'm just replacing my ex. I'm scared he wont compare to my ex. I'm scared he'll be hurt and things will be awkward between my friend's fiance and myself if I break his friend's heart. Scared of getting hurt again. But so overly anxious that it might lead to something, and that I might actually fall in love again.

you need to relax

By all means, take your time, but if you feel a spark, don't ignore it. They say you only fully get over a broken heart when you find someone new to take the place of the one you lost. Sparks are hard to come by these days.

Thanks guys. I was wanting to take it really slow and just be friends, but his friends have been really involved and It's hard to hang out as friends cause I feel like everyone is always waiting for something to happen with us.

I tried to explain my situation to him at the party. When I told him I'm still on the rebound and I want to get to know him. But he kissed me anyway and I was happy he did.

I think the ones I really need to talk to are his friends, but I only see them when we all hang out together. Cause I move slow NORMALLY, so when I'm pulling myself out of whatever it is I'm still dealing with, well I imagine I need snail speed.

I went through a similar start with my ex. We met at work, and, though we'd been secretly flirting with each other and we would have gone out eventually, our coe workers decided to "set us up" and then we had the whole team wanting to know what was going on, and asking if we kissed yet. I was happy with the speed he was going and they were telling him he better kiss me or I'll loose interest. After a month they were dying and couldn't believe we still hugging goodbye. So I know I move a lot slower than most people. And dating while we were working together was a lot of fun, felt like we were having this secret affair (co workers in our sector knew, big bosses and rest of the team didn't) But it wasn't until summer ended (I'm a bike patroller and work on a summer contract. ) and we were no longer co workers and no longer in the spot light that we really became close.

Have I mentioned he's in military school. So if we do end up a couple, which I feel is a matter of time. I can only see him weekends.

If it's only a matter of time til you're together, then I'd scoop him up before the offer is off the table.

I only see my boyfriend on the weekends most times (unless he's being cute or we get into a fight and he skips work to surprise visit me.) and it works out fine. I get all week to myself =P

That's a good idea. If you're both on the same page, this ha a better chance of turning out well.