This is my narrative for Comp. skills. Its not really my style, i know. but its what teachers want to hear.The prompt is greatests moment is my life.
One of the greatest moments of my life began with the simple matter of raising my hand. It was in my fifth grade art class when my art
teacher, Mrs. parker, (probably just a typing mistake - you had spaces on each side of your coma) informed the class that she would be starting an art club. We would have to draw three different items from a list and only the best would be allowed to join. I was one of the only 15 people who made it in.
Over the course of the next (I think you could better replace all of this with For the next few weeks)few weeks we practiced brush strokes, studied techniques, and learned about color schemes. At the week five mark Mrs. Parker told us that we would be painting
a plant still life. We were to pick a design to follow and choose the colors we wanted to use. it would consist mostly of greens, browns, and
maybe (I don't think you need this word) just a splash of some bright color
here an there (I think this is a little informal for an essay and you don't really need it to complete the sentence. I would take it out. If you decide to keep it make sure you change the an to an and). When we had chosen
what style and our colors (I wouldn't use what, I'd use either our again, or say we chose our style and colors) we began to sketch out the outline. It took two days
until I finally thought (I would use: It took two days for me to decide...) it was perfect. I painted slowly,
insuring to stay in the lines (instead you may want to write: insuring I wouldn't make a mistake (staying in the lines might make the reader think it was a paint by number), and making
everything look (instead: making sure it was smooth) smooth. We were allowed a week to finish it. When everyone was finished Mrs. Parker told us that she would be picking the best one and putting it on display at the Cross Creek Mall 15th
annual (Annual is part of the title so make sure it's capitalized) Art Show. On Monday when I came to school I was very suprised to find a certicafate on my desk stating that my
plant still life painting (you could just say still life or plant painting...you don't need all of it) had been pu
t on display at the mall. I couldn't believe it. Something that I made had been put up for hundreds of people to see. Mrs. Parker congratulated me on a job well done and said that I had a real talent for painting.
This was the greates moment of my life. I had created something that was good enough to be displayed for hundreds of people to see. (I agree with Ebil Overlord, switching the order of these two sentences would provide the best closure by bringing the story back around to the beginning. The only other thing I want to suggest is making this into 2 paragraphs. It's a little long for a single paragraph, so you should split it up a little - maybe even 3. Again: great job!!!I know its not great, i need to work on the ending.
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