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 Posted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 6:47 pm
http://www.gaiaonline.com/arena/art/painting-and-drawing/vote/?entry_id=101710511#title
Critque I guess..
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Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 4:31 pm
Hey ... i really like your art .. its good for beginners and up . So who taught you how to draw like tht?? ... its COOL and funny LOL XD ^_^ !!! heart
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Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 8:30 pm
It's a very cute style. It's very good for a beginner n_n
I would say just try and practice a little more and try and refine your art, this one just seems a little stiff. Try and find some references for next time and try and make the hair and body look a bit more natural.
More practice and I'm sure you'll get much better in no time.
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Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 5:46 pm
well...theres lots of things wrong with it in my veiw not trying to make it look bad but....in your own way it might look better than others =)
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Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 1:01 pm
I don't see anything actually wrong with it, I just see that there could be more 3nodding
It is indeed cute, reminds of the style used in many mangas directed towards children. Practise on drawing a full pose - not just the head and shoulders, you can use sites like posemaniac or just flip through a comic book for something that looks interesting and eye-catching.
Oh, and since that character is an antagonist, you might want to give her some item that separates her more from a crowd. It could be an ordinary item (I think I see a ribbon there?) or something completely malplaced (like a weapon twice her size) as long as you make it, well, outstanding. That way, your antagonist is easier to remember ^^
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Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 3:42 pm
Oi! Here's more art!http://www.gaiaonline.com/arena/art/painting-and-drawing/vote/?entry_id=101710979#title The Protagonist
And some poetry:
http://www.gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/poetry-and-lyrics/vote/?entry_id=101710675#title
Fifteen Days Part 1: http://www.gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/fiction/vote/?entry_id=101644641#title
Fifteen Days Part 2: http://www.gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/fiction/vote/?entry_id=101647033#title
Fifteen Days Part 3: http://www.gaiaonline.com/arena/writing/fiction/vote/?entry_id=101669987#title
I still need someone that can draw a manga. I can't draw too well, so I wanted someone else to help draw the manga for Fifteen Days along with me writing it.
Most of my work is poetry, if you check my album. !tra erom s'ereH !iO
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Posted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 11:14 pm
Please excuse me because I know it's out of place, but, why use asian names?
I mean, I know the style you are aiming for is manga style, but why choose asians when it seems you are not one yourself (Just because of the image in your signature), so I don't really get it...
Look, it's not like I plan to make your work look bad or something, because in fact it seems well thought (the small text I read) and well executed, but the whole asian scenery seems to be over used and takes away a lot of originality it has. Plus! there are hundreds of stories using similiar set ups, so yours would be just "some other japanese school life story".
So why not change the whole set up of the story with something we, western lands, are more familiar with.
Also this will give the chance to use things you know very well and take them at your advantage.
And I'm not looking down on the Asian culture, because I find it extremely interesting myself, but your story (personal opinion here) should include more of your own culture and things you can actually use at your favor.
I hope you forgive me if I hurt or offended you in any way, but I only expressed what I think would help your story improve a bit.
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Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 2:40 pm
I'm flyin'. Yep, this is not good.[algin=center] Really, the only thing I could think of manga-ing is some Japanese culture masquerade. I am a fully American boy, thank you, I could put some Western culture in it, maybe I could mix both into a Frankenstein-ed story that won't make sense. Not like it'll make sense anyway, though. Maybe in page 4 I'll start adding things I can be sure about. And list the country name, just 'cause it's Kyoto doesn't mean it's in Japan. I'll make up a country then... .doog ton si siht ,peY .'niylf m'I
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Posted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 10:10 pm
Sera Kyoi I'm flyin'. Yep, this is not good.[algin=center] Really, the only thing I could think of manga-ing is some Japanese culture masquerade. I am a fully American boy, thank you, I could put some Western culture in it, maybe I could mix both into a Frankenstein-ed story that won't make sense. Not like it'll make sense anyway, though. Maybe in page 4 I'll start adding things I can be sure about. And list the country name, just 'cause it's Kyoto doesn't mean it's in Japan. I'll make up a country then... .doog ton si siht ,peY .'niylf m'I Hmm, putting aside the names which I haven't heard of before in other cultures than asians (maybe my ignorance is clouding my judgement here) but there IS some pointers about what I said before concerning the japanese influence in your story. sweatdrop
I hope I didn't offend you in any way with all of this. lol
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Posted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 5:41 am
Alright here's what I got on my computer...FIFTEEN DAYS Characters: Minoru Izuki, Tsukasa Ryuugai, Lin Sapphire, Kudo Yirashi Character Psycho. : MI- Normal, Level, Clean; TR- Erratic, Level, Tainted; LS- Normal, Erratic, Clean; KY- Rising, Brink-Insanity, Clean [ish] Char. Traits: MI- Jet-black hair, no pupils, scar across face, demonism; TR- ocean blue hair, inquisitive pupils, no bre, figmentism; LS- Maroon hair, prominent pupils, large bre, humanism; KY- Brown hair, deep pupils, astigmatism, humanism [CONTINUES ON NEXT PAGE] Locations: Kyoto, Ilia; Tsuakasa, Spirit Realm; over the Pacet Ocean Kyoto-Large city, with suburbanism between cityism buildings; Tsuakasa- Spirit-town, built by Tsu and Min’s combined insanity; Pacet Ocean- Flying down from Tsuakasa on an airship Storyline Elements: Love, Loss, Sacrifice, Anger, Fear, Sadness, and Contentment Technology: Cityism- Large, high buildings with 14 roads suspended above 1 for convenience, Cars built for rail use Suburbanism- Ground and 10th floor roads suspended for use among 15 story houses, Cars built for water use Airship- Large, boxlike ship used for freighting and passenger flight, uses FLARISM for flight Spirit-town- Town built out of imagination and souls’ hatred, normally small with a large mansion floating above Weaponry- [ABSTRACT!!!!] Standard issue-Citizen—Handgun + pocketknife Via Request-Citizen—UK-15 + dirk Standard Issue-Military—UK-15 + hatchet-shovel Via Request-Military—AR-F15 + katana
Characters: PAGE 1 CONTINUED
Skills-
Weaponry-MI-Staff, Korean karate, handgun; TR-Greatsword, Tooth-and-Nail; LS-Pocketknife, Monkism, bolt-lock; KY-Ankh sword, dirk, judo
Mahgik-MI-Air; TR-Blood; LS-Fire; KY-Decay
Fear Conscript-MI-None; TR-Inflictor; LS-Martyr; KY-Inflictor
Mentality-MI-Dull, almost unfeeling; TR-Apologetic, insists fear; LS-Fiery, loving to MI; KY-Sad, sensitive to feelings of others
World-
Continents: Ingraod, Emerine, Shaagoehaad, Oceania, Flynn
Oceans: Pacet, Reese, Lovh, Merit, Shawl
Climates: Tropical, Dry, Temperate, Taiga, Deep
Capitaals: Ingraod--Illincti; Emerine—Ifieldao; Shaagoehaad—Ich; Oceania—Juraekol; Flynn—Dayvinge
Major Countries-Ilia, Oceania; Stealingrad, Ingraod; Imelle, Flynn; Aquine, Emerine; Shaag City, Shaagoehaad
Climates [2]-Ingraod-Dry; Emerine-Deep; Shaagoehaad-Taiga; Oceania-Tropical; Flynn-Temperate
Major Country Capitals: Illincti-Fere’li; Ifieldao-Jagdin; Ich-Eyll; Ilia-Kyoto; Dayvinge-Edge
[CONTINUES ON PAGE 3!]
Passive Elements-Day length—15 hours; Hour length—45 minutes; Minute length—30 Doble-seconds
Airship-Flight capability found with FLARISM, several rarish stones mixed into a compound of high temperature
Fire-Black and white manifestations of pain and/or heat
Music-J-rock mixed with pop
Gravity-7/6 of Earth’s gravity
Religion-Different continent, different main religion
Buddhism-Used in Ilia and Flynn as main religion
Same as modern-day Buddhism [need to study]
Inked Blue-Used exclusively in Shaagoehaad
Extremely tough belief, thought as a mental strain to grasp. Centers around the belief of snow being the essence of souls
Taoism-Used in Emerine and Ingraod and some areas of Ilia
Same as early Chinese belief [need to study]
[CONTINUES… LATER!]
World-CONTINUED FROM PAGE 2
Continents-
Each continent has around four countries, except for Flynn. Flynn, as the largest continent, has fifteen countries, each with thirty cities.
Capitaals-Area set by government of continent to house official representatives. Used as a center of government for each continent.
Emerine-Submerged country, thus the deep climate. A popular tourist destination, encased in domes, surrounded with several reefs both held to the ground and afloat. Tunnels drilled at several points to allow entry by tourist and trademarines.
[MIGHT CONTINUE LATER!!!!]
Weaponry Elements-[DESRIBES EACH WEAPON!!!!]
UK-15-Small rifle, usually with a stock added for added stability. [Citizens are issued these for protection from raids] Without stock, looks like a large Uzi, with stock, a small AK-47. Fires 9 mm ammo mounted on side of gun.
AR-F15-Large assault rifle, attached to the user’s back to help support. Utilizes a 45 round clip, firing 12.5 mm from a clip attached to the top.
Handgun-6 mm handgun, called the SS-15, issued to all citizens for defense against raiders. Fires 12 shots before needing to be rotated.
Rotation-Standard on handguns, having a clip on the side same size as the original clip.
Terminology-[MAY ADD TO LATER!!!!]
Trademarines-Submarines with a small trailing box to hold cargo, used to transport to Emerine.
UK-Under-Kradle
AR-Assault Rifle
Fear conscript-Used as a example of how easily scared someone will get and how easily
Inflictor-Never feels afraid, normally chills others as a curse
Martyr-Gets scared easily
None-Absolutely no fear, yet doesn’t intimidate anyone else
Mentality-Shows brain’s activity
Dull-None or low mental activity, common in lazy people
Apologetic-low to medium-low activity, common in writers and artists, apparently in figments too.
Fiery-High to insane, common in most college girls biggrin
Sad-Medium-low to medium activity, normal in most adults
Finally the story!~
...retupmoc tog I s'ereh tahw ,thgirlA
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