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 Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 12:18 am
I've mentioned Michael before.
He's ******** controlling.
His ex-girlfriend, Sasha knows me. Not very well, we were friend a year and a half ago. Now. I want to talk to Sasha, because part of me still wants to be friends with her after what happened back then that stopped our friendship.
Michael does not like this.
He says he will lose respect for me if I talk to her.
He says he will want to talk to me less.
He will want to see me less.
He will want less to do with me.
So I talked to her anyways and I told him that. I will[ not let him control who I talk to.
After I pointed out to him that he's awfully controlling, though he got mad and left saying that I'd made him feel horrible.
So now I feel really bad about this.
Who is right here?
Me?
or him?
Shouldn't I be able to talk to Sasha, without so much damn guilt?
Shouldn't he be able to let me do this and still be my friend?
I just don't know.
Help.
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 10:58 am
Honey you can talk to whoever you want to. If he doesn't like her that's his problem.
You probably hurt his feelings, possibly by point out something he already knew and didn't like about himself. No one likes having their bad points shown to them. He will get over it and if he is a good guy he will let you have what ever kind of relationship with Sasha that you want. I know my dad HATES some of my mom's friends. But they are her friends and he doesn't stop her from seeing them or even bringing them over to the house.
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 11:58 am
My ex-boyfriend did things like that to me, he wouldn't let me talk to one of my friends, and wouldn't let her talk to me.
He was cheating on both of us with each other.
Point being, people who want you to close communications with another have something to hide.
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 1:53 pm
I don't think he has anything to hide, he just has this serious issue about trusting people.
And he thinks he can't trust me if I talk to Sasha.
I'm not going to let him be right about this.
But if it comes to a point where he says "It's either Sasah or me." Then I would have to stop talking to her. Or at least stop mentioning it to him.
I like him a lot more than I like Sasha. Sasha doesn't even really like me.
*sigh*
Edit: Also, he's not on IRC today, so I think he might be really mad at me which is another problem, should I call him or something?
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 2:21 pm
Yeah I would call him. If he can't even tell you why he is upset, or even if he is upset, then that communication thing will become a problem. And I think you need to find out where the trust issues come from to be able to understand how to help him with it. What is it about you two talking that worries him?
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Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2005 3:46 pm
My computer won't even turn on today. It's broken, so I've been wasting time trying to get on to other computers and get to IRC.
Basically just waiting and waiting for him to show up, not that I really expect him to.
He called me just a moment ago.
Conversation went a bit like this:
"Hello?"(me)
"Hi..."(him)
*pause*
"you're going to start hanging out with her."(him) I told him last night that this isn't going to happen. He doesn't believe me.
"I wish you would believe me about this." (me)
"I just can't." (him)
"I'm really suprised you called"(me) I'm really really suprised he called. I hate to compare him to other guys, but I've gotten into fights like this with other guys and they would do anything to avoid calling me. I suppose this shows that Michael is more mature or something.
"Yeah... I thought I should at least say 'Hi' today..."(him)
"Oh..."(me)
"Well, uh, bye"(him)
"Uh, I'm trying--"(me) I was going to say I was trying to get on IRC.
and he basically hung up and cut me off. >_<
That doesn't really bother me too much. I'm mostly just glad he called.
Oh and Chalda, he just has issues trusting people. He thinks everyone's out to get him. And there's not much question of if he's mad or why he's mad. He is mad because I talked to her and he's afraid I'm going to start hanging out with her and then like... hate him or something.
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 3:10 pm
Sweety you can talk to anyone you want. My dad is also a very controlling guy. When my parents were first married he was just a little. Then as the years went by he's a lot worse. My mom is know not aloud to go places with her family or see any of her friends. When she tries to go to the store or shopping and doesn't tell him he runs outside and pulls the plug wires on her car. All I am trying to say is that if he's like this now think of what he might be like later. Even if he does say that you hurt him. Does he know it's hurting you to. I am just going to try and make you think not to make you break up with him but seriously how do you think he'll act in a few years from now. Once you let him get the best of you once he knows he can do it again and again. please just think about your future and how you really want it to be. I hope you work things out. Feel free to pm me if you want to
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 3:36 pm
Never let another person dictate how to live your life. I know it's sounds condesending, but you're still young in life, and there's plenty of great people out there to meet.
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 6:01 pm
Anya8907, Michael and I are not dating. We're just friends.
Thanks Soleq~
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 6:59 am
hey...he got a problem. a problem that u need to leave and find someone esle that respects you. this is how my mother got into a VERY ABUSIVE relationship. trust me honey...it will get worse exclaim
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 8:25 am
This is always hard.
First, you have to try to understand why he is saying those things and feeling the way he does about you wanting to be friends with his ex. That doesn't mean you have to agree with him, but it would help to atleast understand his pov in all of this. This is his EX! Of course he is going to have some kind of negative feelings about it, even if they left on mutual terms. Ex's and breakups are never easy to get over or deal with even if time has passed.
Second, yes, you do have a right to talk to and be friends with whoever you please. On the other hand, you have to take into consideration the feelings of your bf.
See, it is hard to balance. If this girl was a complete stranger or one of your past friends that had nothing to do with him, then I would say go for it and help him understand this is your friend and not his and to help him be less controlling. Usually, people are controlling becuase they are afraid of something so they try to control their lives as well as others so they always know what is going on. That's only usualy, but not always.
I would just try to talk it over, calmly, with him. Explain your side and why you want to be friends with her. Let him explain his side as to why he doesn;t want you to be friends with her. You have to respect his feelings in this considering it is his ex. Just remember, friends always come and go. You can always make more friends just like you can always get another bf. Friends are easier to come by though, lol.
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Posted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 7:51 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2005 3:33 am
[x]
You were right.
You can to talk to whoever you want, no one can stop you.
But you probably made him angry and upset because you pointed out one of his bad characteristics. Most people hate having their bad points pointed out. Hopefully, if he's a nice guy he will forgive you and let you talk to and make relationships with whoever you wish.
[ Lampost :B ]
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