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I got this from the daily calendar on my desk. It's a calendar of "Worst Case Scenarios." So for you feminists out there with male stalkers, make sure you follow this advice.

Wednesday, August 19

How to Deal with a Stalker
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1 Firmly inform the stalker that if the unwanted behavior persists, you will take action.
Threaten to contact authorities or a larger, stronger friend or relative. Be prepared to do so. Do not give in to any threats, and be ready to secure a restraining order or civil protection order if it becomes necessary for your peace of mind.
(Edward constantly threatened Bella. She made no opposition to his stalking her and did not even think of that remotely. She even neglected to tell anyone in case she died! WTH??)

2 Inform your family, friends, and coworkers of the situation.
(It's not like Bella told anyone Eddykins was stalking her.)

3 Keep a paper trail.
Save any relevant letters, notes, e-mails, and voice mails--maintain a log or diary of your stalker's actions and report any unlawful behavior to the police immediately. Report phone calls to both the phone company and the police.
(Bella did keep track of Eddykins' stalking. It's called Twilight, if you're not familiar with it.)

4 Inform authorities.
Do not let fear of retribution stop you from taking action. Take legal action immediately.
("Are you afraid?" "No." Then there should be no reason for you not to call the police, ditz!!!)

I'll keep that in mind if I ever meet any stalkpires and *****.

I didn't buy it... I think it was a gift. Some of the things are kind of funny though, like how to get away from a giant octopus. It's very interesting, too.

And I don't think so... I wouldn't expect it to be very common for your own family to stalk you.