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Reply Daireishokairo (大霊書回廊, Great Spirit Book Gallery) [Storage]
This doesn't make any sense at all.

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-I- Vermillion -I-

PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:43 am


Quote:
The series follows how Ichigo Kurosaki becomes the substitute of the Soul Reaper Rukia Kuchiki. Since then he assumes her duties to protect souls to make them rest in peace as well as to fight against creatures called Hollows, which are souls that cannot rest. However, as the series progresses, Rukia is arrested by the Soul Reapers' organization, Soul Society, for giving her powers to Ichigo and prepares to execute her. Ichigo and his friends go to save her and are forced to fight against all the Soul Reapers' divisions. However the 5th division captain, Sōsuke Aizen defected Soul Society and starts a plan to overthrow the king of the Soul Society and usurp it.

Later on however in the series Sosuke Aizen's plans were over thrown by Soul Society whom proved to be much stronger then Aizen had predicted. Aizen and all of his Espada were killed off during the near end part of the series, though something was left behind, something that was taken into Soul Society and placed under lock and key immediately.

400 years have passed since the literal destruction of Aizen and his Espada. The Human world and Soul Society have lived in peace for those many hundreds of years. Many faces that were well known have vanished and new ones have appeared. The series now focuses on a new evil that has arisen. Las Noches and Heuco Mundo have been uninhabited by any rulers for so long, how can that be? Why shouldn't such a lovely place have such a one called ruler. The infamous God of dreams, Pandora, earlier thought to be a woman, has now taken over Las Noches.

Pandora is of the Greek mythology. Said to have been given the box of Pandora by Zeus himself. Pandora opened the box and let out all the death, disease, plagues and other such horrible things. For this Pandora was cast into the flames of Morpheus, the god of dreams where he consumed Morpheus's powers and became the god of everlasting dreams.

Pandora has taken his seat upon the throne in Las Noches, he has a deathly plan in store of Seireitei, but at this moment he plots to steal away the Box of Pandora, the one object that could stop him, for it is said after the horrible things were unleashed from the box the only thing that lay still therein at the bottom was hope.


I was reading over this part and to be honest I think it's extremely weak and mixed and well doesn't make any sense. Nothing flows at all. I know I'm really just a temporary person here in the guild but I have to say that this really gets at me. If you really read it close you might pick up on what I'm saying. Not to mention what Renji put in Pandora's Bio...everything is a mess...
PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:01 am


That's what I said before. Things don't go together very well. To be honest our current storyline (As displayed to the public) Looks pathetic, it looks like it was written in a hurry. I'm not condemning the idea I'm condemning the way it was put and the way things still are. I think also a change should be made (Like I said before) Not changed actually just rewritten.

II The Metal Alchemist II


II Palmtop Tiger II
Vice Captain

Supreme Demigod

PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:05 am


And you people wanted to rush me.

I don't want to be in charge of storyline.

Ever.



I'm terrible at it, so never expect it from me at all.

So, if changes are made, fine~

I don't think it's pathetic... I kinda like it...
PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:19 am


Like I said I don't think the story its self is pathetic, I think it was written badly. If you read it the first part sounds like Aizen was killed by Soul Society, but we have in other parts that Pandora killed him (Like in Pandora's profile) Also 400 years and now he's showing up in Las Noches? I just think things need to be rewritten, but in no way do I think the story is bad, its very interesting.

I don't know, I just read it too and it doesn't sound right to me xp

Edit: And I myself wasn't saying that our current RP storyline would be changed, I just wanted to rewrite how the home page was that's all .__. I don't speak for Vermy though.

II The Metal Alchemist II


-I- Vermillion -I-

PostPosted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:52 am


Id be more then happy to rewrite it. It just needs to be worded better I think, that way I can make my characters bio fit.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 10:51 pm


Well, currently I have my hands free from work
and such,
so I'd be glad to write up a story and post it somewhere to see if you
all would like it to be in the front page.

I like to write short stories in the Art Arena
So it wouldn't be a burden to write a few paragraphs or so
about what happened in the past.

Kaine Lowingrad

Blessed Prophet

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XziqueX

PostPosted: Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:05 pm


Because I suck the most in storylines and crap, I'm afraid I can't contribute to this. D:
But it looks like Vermy and Veer [hey, they're both V! XD You should be a team or something~] here are both willing to re-write it and make it look better. I still like the idea though, like everyone else here. Not like we can change it now that we started...
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Daireishokairo (大霊書回廊, Great Spirit Book Gallery) [Storage]

 
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