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when i was younger and misbehaved/showed disrespect to my parents i was spanked.
children don't exactly understand anything else, you can't reason with them. they aren't mature.


you don't spank adults because it's a violation of their rights, and you can reason with them.

anyone under 18 is considered an infant by law. you don't gain rights until then.

That reminds me of the "bar of soap in the mouth" treatment.

I think something like that is a better option than hitting, because there is the chance that the child may begin to think that hitting a person is how you should deal with anybody you're angry with. Plus, even if you don't mean to really badly harm your child there's the possibility that you may not realize your own strength or hit them in a vulnerable spot (like the neck) on accident (especially if the child moves quickly).

I think tabasco sauce, soap, or something similar that won't cause real harm but will hurt or be repulsive is a better option...just make sure the soap is non-toxic if you go with that option.

As far as I know I was never spanked, but I had been threatened with possible spanks, and that was enough to get me to stop usually.

Face full of soap - ahh, only used when we /said/ something wrong.

And yes, I do believe it's a better option than hitting. My little brother hit his schoolmates because he thought that's how you dealt with things- although my brother is mentally ill. (Slightly, and we didn't know that) We've stopped hitting him (except in extreme cases) and my parents, I've noticed, are a lot less strict to him than they were with us. (My big brother and I are both a little mentally off too, but we were in a big city and nobody cared enough to catch it- now we live in a small country town where the teachers care more and can catch these things)

EDIT: I'm not saying spanking/hitting my children is my first or only means of punishment. I don't like the idea and I will only use it after:
1. Verbal scolding (and a brief explanation why)
2. A time-out or similar activity (perhaps sit in a chair or in the corner, but NEVER tied up!!!
3. If they are old enough to understand WHY it's bad, then they get spanked. It makes no sense if the child doesn't understand it.

My opinion is still, hit me, and I'll hit you back 2x as hard. I don't like bullies that use force to get what they want.

After reading through this thread, I have to say that I feel like most of you that were "spanked" weren't what I'd call "spanked."

To me, a spanking was a very rare thing that was never, ever, EVER used lightly or over something trivial, and it was never done while either of my parents were angry. I was usually warned at least seven times that I was getting close to the point that they would spank me before they did, and immediately afterwards they talked to me and made sure I understood exactly what I had done wrong and exactly why they had chosen that course of action. After that, I was hugged and invited to join them in whatever they were doing. What happened to some of you sounds like something for which your parents should be locked away for the rest of their lives.



People raised completely without restrictions are raised by parents who don't care about them. My experience points to the exact opposite of what you're saying for people raised without restrictions, i.e. people raised under the permissive or neglectful parenting styles. Children without restrictions do whatever they want to do, be it eating three bags of cookies and washing it down with an entire pizza, playing games the entire day long and not doing any of their homework, or the extreme of joining gangs to get the direction and feeling of belonging that their parents refuse to give. Many of these people grow up to be people who have no self control, since they never needed to learn it in the first place, and give into their impulses, whether it's cussing out a boss the first time they get instructions they don't like, doing drugs because they're available, having unprotected sex with many, many partners because they feel like it, or other destructive and possibly illegal activities like stealing because they just don't feel like paying for something.

You're right on the money with the authoritarian style, but don't forget there is a middle ground. It is possible to give a child restrictions without suffocating him and dictating his every move. Children raised under the authoritative style have better outcomes than either the permissive/neglectful or authoritarian styles.

Shi, we're under 21, we're supposed to be evil little idiots, just play along ninja play along...
Most people that do stuff like that, do it to defy the people who punished them to extremes, as Val said, they're free, so to prove it they go and do idiotic things, it's like when people turn old enough to drink and in their time growing up their parents kept reminding them that they would never let them drink and stuff, they're like "OMG I CAN DRINK NOW AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME", so then they go and get so drunk they die, which is extremely common actually when people reach the drinking age. You want to know what type of people do the things you mentioned? People who were violently beat by their parents, or felt they had no control for all of their lives from living in fear one way or another.
People without restrictions usually tend to grow up smarter and in better condition, since they shouldn't feel threatened by their parents and see them as beings with the sole purpose being to hurt them, they can talk to them without fear and see them as friends, so when the parent DOES tell them something like "that type of tree has leaves that are sharp, be careful if you touch it" they don't see it as somebody who likes to hurt them saying it, they see it like if their best buddy said it, and therefor will probably remember it better. Not to mention all the good effects of low stress (from feeling safe, not in danger) and good relations with parents (as friends, not as tormentors) brings.

Personally due to how I was raised if someone hits me I hit them back.
So aggressive babysitters and my parents didnt try to "punish" me after I hit the age where I could hurt them whenever they tried hitting me or stealing my college money.
In any case I turned out fine raising myself.
But I know for a fact that some people in the same situation ended up dead or in jail.
so since the result varies depending on person to person along with region I would have to say that making a choice like that is kind of..Silly.