6 months
Try to wait 6 months. What good will 6 months do?
It will be the end of school.
You can move out of the house. Move far away.
and start over.
I have never been close to were you have been. But I have venchered down that road for a few feet.
look for one thing in your life to live for.
And don't make it and external thing. don't live for your girlfriend or your family, life for you.
When you finish school move to a big city or something. Some place you've never been to. Get a job, get a place to live.
Just be there. To enough to just scrap by. Then start to live more. Go out meet people.
Meet people who were once like you.
Maybe the wounds might just start to heal.
I don't know I have no idea who much this will help.
But it would be better than dying.