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Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 1:06 pm
Okay, so here is a place for you grammar freaks, poets, novelists, short story writers and more. Here you can post some of your work to be criticized, edited or just to share. As long as it pertains to writing it goes here.
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Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 12:09 pm
Okay, I may not be the best but I don't care. Okay so this is a book I am creating and it is in need of some serious help. I went blank for it and barely started... Well here it is, 'Cry Wolf'.
Cry Wolf Amira is just an average girl looking for an average life, but when she moves into a small cabin in the great Appalachian moutains her life becomes far from average. Who is the boy that she found on her way home and what hade happened to him? What could do something so horrible to the boy? What is happening to the boy and what is it that is lurking in the dark forest that surrounds her home? So many questions, but what of the answers?
Prologue The boy can as hard as his feet could take him. The giant wolves right on his heels. "Leave me alone you beasts." The boy screamed as one jumped over him. The boy stood still from fear as they closed in a small circle around him. They snapped at his heels in turn making the boy more frightened. Then there was a frightening deep growl. All the wolves stoped what they where doing to the boy and backed away from him. The boy stood in horror as a gaint wolf like creature on its' hind legs, came out. They berast let out a crackling roar and the wolves scampered off. The beast looked at the boy with bood red eyes then let out a ear splitting howl. The boy covered his ears, falling to his knees. The creature aproached him with astonishing speed. Without a chance to run the beast bit into the boys throut. The boy let out a high pitched scream...
Chapter 1 "Home sweet home." Amira looked up at her new home. It was a beautiful little cabin that sat on top of a mountain, giving her an unbeilveable view of the scenery around her. She looked for the key to the cabin's lock on her key chain. 'Found you.' Amira put the key into the hole and turned until she heard a 'click' sound. She opened the door to see all her stuff on boxes and her couches and such were they where suppose to be. Amira walks in, setting her stuff that she brought with her on the floor and took a look around. She walked over to were the bedroom was and opened the door. Her bed and wordrobe was there with boxes pailed up in one corner of the room. She walked over to the pail and grabed a box and opened it up and started to unpack her belongings.
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Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 12:06 pm
you should make your own thread for this.
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Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 5:19 pm
I would mess it up knowing me^^
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Posted: Tue May 19, 2009 12:58 pm
Even if I wanted to, how the heck am I suppose to make make it into a thread??
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 7:51 pm
Just click "Add new topic" .__.
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Posted: Thu May 21, 2009 6:27 pm
*sigh* well I ain't stupid, I know that. What I meant Case was that how the heck am I suppose to make a plot and crap for it... Never mind, I could try something, I just have to think is all. But right now my brain is scambled because we have SOL tests this week and our sedule is screwed up and it is confusing. I wish test didn't exist right now, I keep thinking I'n not going to past the darn thing, but this weekend I am going to my freinds for three days so I get a break, WOHOO!! so I won't be posting for a few days.
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 5:27 pm
uh... hi... I'm Hokama and this is uh.... one of the poems a wrote after the love of my life abandoned me. I hope you enjoy my sorrow.
Nothing left to Die. By Hokama.
My tears speak the words I cannot say My heart beats with every word. I can’t stand the life of nothingness For to exist is no life at all
You said you’d always love me. And I believed it true You stabbed me in the back again Everytime that you said I love you
My heart is always breaking My soul cries out for help I’m a dead man in his waking And it’s all because of you
For me to ever think you loved me Proves me a fool I can’t believe I ever thought That you wouldn’t be so cruel.
Everything is gone form me Everything I've ever felt You never really truly cared. And now there’s nothing left to care about
Nothing ever matters No one ever cares Love has never existed And life is so unfair.
How could you ever do this? Put this pain upon my soul You said you’d never hurt anyone But I guess that just proves me right
I’ve never been anyone. I never will be. Nothing I ever do will be good enough Never, not for me
You ripped my heart out in every way But still say you care Don’t ever say you ever do You shouldn’t even dare
I know you never cared for me The same way I did you. But the least you could have done was told me Before I did myself
Forever is a long, long time Eternity is longer. What I wouldn't give to die tomorrow And never have to see you
Because of you I hurt myself Everyday in every way But there’s nothing left to hurt.
All you care about is yourself That’s all you ever have So much for ever falling in love Because this pain is deadly.
You’ve lied to me, You’ve put me down You’ve hurt me every time You ripped my heart out time again
So why should I even try? there’s nothing left to kill inside Nothing left to die.
END
ok, that's it. I want honest opinions please. there,s a whole bunch more poetry kinda like this one if anyone wants to read it, i guess i could put it up. PM me if you want to keep a copy. all my work is copyrighted to me and if your caught stealing it wont be good. but if you want it, just ask, and I'm sure i can let you have a copy. Thanks! and don't forget, constructive criticism! not verbal harassment! lol.
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:04 pm
Hokama that was beautiful Gawd i even cried But i am a sucker for poetry <3
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 6:26 am
really? honestly I don't think its that good. you actually cried? wow. that's a first for me... here's another!! Mild (cursing) language in this one. nothing serious, but just to warn you. This another one I wrote since he abandoned me. I hope you enjoy my sorrow.
Lover forever, Never. By Hokama
You never listen. To a single word I say. Then cry to me and bring me down day after day.
You never ever held me, like you said you would. But expected me to hold you like I was the only one that could.
You come and go faster, then the wind through my breath. And when you leave me here alone all I wish is death.
You never ever held me, like you said you would. But expected me to hold you like I was the only one that could.
You break my heart and poison my soul and demand that I stay. Right now I'm not sorry to inform you, but it don't work that way.
You never ever held me, like you said you would. But expected me to hold you like I was the only one that could.
Your image always haunts me, never leaving me to be. That ever controlling monster I can never see.
You never ever held me, like you said you would. But expected me to hold you like I was the only one that could.
Can't you ever even see, the hurt inside my heart. That was until you ripped it out you filthy offal tart.
I feel the pain but see no wound just like I've always felt. But still when you smile at me, what’s left begins to melt.
You never ever held me, like you said you would. But expected me to hold you like I was the only one that could.
You always said you loved me. I believed it to be true. I never should have thought that way. I always, always knew.
That as soon as something perfect, came into your eye. Your "love" for me would falter and you would force it to die.
You never ever held me like you said you would. But expected me to hold you like I was the only one that could.
But as of now I've had enough. You can kiss your chance good bye. 'cause I'm never ever coming back and that's not a lie.
I never really thought it would all happen this fast. But I've only got one thing left to say, and that's Kiss. My. a**.
You never ever held me, like you said you would. But expected me to hold you like I was the only one that could.
But for now and forever, you've got to realize. I don't really give a damn. What I am in your eyes.
END
hope you like it! leave your comments please, I want to know what you think! and remember! everyone's view is important! biggrin
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Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 6:18 pm
Cry
And only a family both loving and true, May conquer the evil, so ancient so new. As they fight to uncover what secrets they share, And see in their journy how painful is care. Beware the betrayer, whose meaning is strife, For their faith shall betried by the makers of life. And who shall divine in the dead of the night, The lies from the truth, the darkness from light. Like the crys of scavengers, torn through the air, A courage is needed, as deep as despair.
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Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 5:54 am
wow. that was amazing! i love it!!
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Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2009 4:00 pm
Thanks xd Here is another one, it is one of my favorite one that I thought of so far. I am a wolf running through the trees. Following the scent, on the midnight breeze.
I am a wolf howling beneath a silver moon. Hoping that my loyal pack, will answer back quite soon.
I am a wolf standing with my beautiful mate. We must stand strong and brave, and face any challanges we meet.
I am a wolf hunting with my pack. With the young and the old wolves waiting, for meat to be brought back.
I am a wolf and I must kill to survive. But isn't that something we all do, in order to stay alive?
I am a wolf withstanding man's fear and hate. But many have come to love wolves, and for us that's quite a treat.
I am a wolf wild, fierce and free. Living in forest and mountians, stretching as far as the eye can see.
I am a wolf I'd never want to be anything more. And I hope that even after I'm gone, there will be wolves forevermore.
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Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 8:59 am
Okay, so I am ready all of these and I am simply astounded by them. They are truly lovely and I am honored to have stumbled upon this thread. ^^
Sweet Dreams
"Sweet dreams." a mother says "Sweet dreams." a child replies Sweet dreams my love, my heart is forever yours Sweet dreams is what I bid you Sweet dreams is what I give you Nothing more and nothing less is what you deserve But sweet dreams to carry you far into a World of peace.
Though Sol may come, early in the morning, Never will sweet dreams go Though you go through the day As busy as can be, never do Your sweet dreams disperse.
Always they will be yours Always they will be there To comfort you To hold you To share your joys and sorrows when you need it
Those sweet dreams are forever with you These sweet dreams will always be there It will love and nurture you as long as you live Forever, your sweet dreams are there to carry you far, and dee Into a world of peace.
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Posted: Thu Aug 20, 2009 7:36 pm
~Peaceful Soul No More~ This innocent soul walks into a house of death The farther he walks the colder becomes his breath Taunts from tormented souls fill his head with madness His blood filled with sickness
His ideas twisted His vision evilly crafted His pleasure became pain His personality mixed insane
As the demons torcher his body endlessly The pain bleeds into him mercilessly The bright become a Shadow And the rows of roses become a dead meadow
His eyes grow dark and emotionless His anger grows boundless His skin a dark red His breath a foul stench of the dead
The happy has become sad The joyful a mix disease of mad The mutual has become the enemy The smooth becomes slimy
His choice to sell his soul to the devil His becoming part of the darkened candle He left his life peace and joy to become one of devil's playful toys. ~I have no clue were this came from. I have had this for years somewere hidden beneath all my other things.
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