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I'll do my review shortly. Please bear with me.

Okay, so I have never role-played in my life. I originally wanted to ease my way into role-playing, but then I decided I may just need to plunge in. I decided on starting off my role-playing experience with my own RP thread... aaaaaaaaaaand that idea went down the tubes pretty quickly! sweatdrop I just don't want to put in that much work... But I have a character set up for that already and I don't want to put her away and never use her again. I'm aware that there is a lot of room for improvement with her, but, seeing that this is my first RP character ever, I'm not sure what I need to do. I think one of my main problems is that I'm used to a fiction book character mindset as opposed to a RP character one where the character needs to be constantly interacting with others. So, anyways, keeping in mind that she was originally intended for a fantasy setting, can you help me improve her and give me suggestions for what kind of RP I should be looking for?

Name: Ailya Fayriss

Age: 20

Sex: Female

Personality Traits: An antisocial character who would rather have silence than conversation, Ailya tends to mock those who bother to stay around her for longer than a few minutes. She can occasionally be pointlessly cruel, but if you take the time to get to know her, you might just occasionally get a few glimpses of her softer, kinder side.

Physical Traits: This serious, composed woman has large brown eyes that are like two drops of chocolate. Her dark nutmeg hair is worn in a spiky yet dignified updo. She has a graceful build and fair skin. She has thin eyebrows and deft, delicate-looking hands. She has a graceful, narrow hourglass build that usually goes unnoticed due to her intimidating demeanor. She is a bit on the tall side (compared to those in her village) at 5’7”, but many people are still taller than her. She sports a complicated wardrobe with lots of blues, greens, and whites or tans and she wears a simple white bracelet on her left hand.

History 1: Ailya was born and raised in a small town until she turned twelve, at which point she left to be trained in the art of healing by Aira Aedwyll, the most adept healer in her region. Ailya excelled at healing, and at age nineteen was told that she had learned all Aira had to teach her. In only seven years, she had learned what usually took ten years for others to learn, and she was exceeded in skill only by fellow students Jeyill Pirith and Tae Paenlyth, and by Aira Aedwyll herself. In the year following her departure from Aira, Ailya received limited training in the bow and arrow and in throwing knives. She can hold her own in a fight with an inexperienced fighter, but prefers to refrain from violence unless it is needed, due to a fear of injuring and/or embarrassing herself or others.

I also want to work on a secondary/alternate background that involves amnesia and more drama and detailed backstory, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. So anyways, I get that she may or may not be a really boring character, but I just don't know how to fix it. Help?

Well that was the fact that she can hold her own in a fight with another inexperienced fighter, but anyone even a little more skilled in that and she might as well be screwed. Is that not enough?

Random character that still feels like he needs tweaking. He was created for the Forgotten Realms setting (I was bored and my friend got me in the series.) But he's used anywhere I can use him. OTL For visual's sake and because I have a hard time describing him... he's basically a faun, but fox instead of goat in looks/body shape.

Name: Dorian

Nickname: Dori

Age: 16-17

Gender: Male

Race: Fennec fox shapeshifter

Occupation: Rogue

Appearance: Dorian has sandy colored ears, tail, and hair. He's almost like a faun in that from his waist down he has the hind legs and tail of a fox. He's not very tall though his ears are quite large compared to other features on him. His hands are small, almost feminine in shape. His body is covered in numerous scars from whips or what looks like snake bites. For clothes he usually has a loose shirt and pants that just cover to his knees. Dorian's eyes are honey/amber in color. In his fox form Dorian is a small Fennec fox with the same colors as his ears and other furry areas.

Personality: Due to having been in Drow slavery since he was little more than a child, Dorian is very timid and not very trusting of people. Females seem to be who he's most timid of, and it is understandable in Drow culture, though he does follow orders given to him. If he trusts somebody Dorian often will stay near them, and is fairly kind after warming up to a person.

He wants to forget his past and move on, but it haunts him in flashes of images of feelings. He still has a bit of hope that people aren't all bad and that it was just the Underdark. It is a slow process, but he is getting used to his freedom.

Bio: Born into slavery Dorian never left the Underdark before managing to escape. His parents were two other shapeshifters, having learned to shift from his mother at a very young age. When he was sold to the clerics they clearly said that if he did shift without being permitted there would be a punishment that would leaving him wishing for death. He was always close to clerics and their snake headed whips that left him unable to move if struck with them. He was a hard worker though his inbreed magic was often uncontrolled and had random outbursts that left him with harsh punishment. Had Dorian been with his people this magic would of been controlled and not the 'wild' magic that it was back then. It was a destructive type, nothing he had learned to control, and almost came to hate it before his escape.

His life was about the same until he was about 15 when one of the outbursts greatly damaged one of the cleric's temples to Lolth. This caused him to escape in the chaos that followed along with other slaves, making it to the surface after several months of traveling and wondering without much direction in the Underdark. His first glimpse of sunlight pained his eyes, and it took a while for him to adjust to the difference.

After a few months of wandering alone he ran across the gypsy caravan that Arlan was traveling with. It was several weeks before the mage managed to gain the trust of Dorian though now the boy is never very far from his human companion. Over the time they have been together Arlan has helped to teach Dorian to control his 'wild' magic, and to be able to use smaller weapons like daggers.

A few years and seven pages later I’ve finally done the one for Lergo. It's a lot to read as this is actually a 4 in 1 so you can imagine I got a bit tired as it went on.

Keep in mind this is a semi-modern day world with magic and science and technology mixing.


Name: Collectively Lergo.
It was once Lenard, Juleo, Raychard, and Gordon (anything that I list for them will follow this order respectively).

Race: Humans now technically considered a construct (think Frankenstein's monster) and familiar of a Benevolent Witch.

Powers: None. Just able to exchange their heads on one functioning body.
Weapons of choice: Swords, knowledge, firearms, his own body.

Age: 40, 18, 32, and 24

Sex: All males

Backstory: Before meeting Cold Lergo were all separate men who knew nothing of one another and didn’t meet until the day they were all executed for various crimes.

Lenard was a fighter, something like a gladiator only without killing other people, in a game meant to entertain the people. He started fighting when he was 15 and kept at it until he was one of the best in the business gaining fame and a small fortune for his family in the process.

When the owners became tired of him winning and wanted a new champion in the limelight they tried to persuade Lenard to take a fall. When he refused they arranged for Lenard to suffer an accident, unfortunately it didn’t work out with the new champion they wanted to assign falling victim to it and dying.

The game owners quickly blamed Lenard for the man’s death for the sake of damage control, publicity, and to be rid of him.
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Juleo was the assistant treasurer to land’s king, he was a scholar and a very knowledgeable boy having read many books and attended many lectures soaking up the information like a sponge thanks to his great eidetic memory.

Because of this Juleo was great at his job, something that bothered the Treasurer who was fudging the books to hide her stealing money and didn’t want him taking her job. When Juleo noticed a discrepancy in the books and his memory of the count he brought it up with the Treasurer forcing her to take action. She quickly planted some stolen money on him and exposed him to the king’s guards.
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Raychard was a nobleman’s son who was charismatic and a touch of a playboy indulging in his father’s wealth and the benefits of his social standing. That was until he fell in love with a raising actress. He rapidly became obsessed with her giving her gifts and taking her on expensive dates and the like all in efforts to woe and later ask her to marry him. Before he could ask he learned that she was merely using him as on that very day she had accepted the proposal of another richer man.

Heartbroken and still a bit obsessed Raychard wallowed in depression until the day of her wedding. Driven by anger, jealousy, and perhaps pure madness he shot and killed the man who stole the woman he loved and shot and wounded her ruining her acting career. Raychard’s sanity returned soon after but he was already in a jail cell and his execution papers had been signed.

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Gordon was adopted into a guild of thieves who acted as street performers to pickpockets during the day and rob houses at night. Gordon was good at his job until they betrayed him.

When the call for the head of the thieves’ guild leader became too great they sent him out on a mission to rob one of the richer families unbeknownst to him the guards were tipped off by the others so they waiting for him and captured him easily. With his capture the focus would be off the others long enough for them to steal a bit more before moving on to the next city.


When Cold arrived drawn in by a call from her higher ups she felt that the men should be spared, unfortunately for them the Benevolent Witch assigned to the area was a useless man who didn’t want to make waves so he allowed for their execution to continue even though with his training he too knew that execution was too great of a punishment for some and nothing had been investigated for some of the others.

Due to the bureaucratic ways of such matters with the Benevolence Cold could do nothing to stop their beheading but did ask them if they wanted to live even if it meant following her for all eternity. When all four confirmed that they would she departed.

After their beheadings Cold retrieved their heads and managed to find one suitable body. Using her magic she resurrected each only as their heads promising to find them bodies when able.

Personality traits:
Lenard being the oldest is oddly fatherly but strict considering his past career. He is very protective of Cold and seems rather old fashioned about his ideals of right and wrong along with justice and honor often times guilting Cold into doing more for others.
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Juleo is the youngest of the four and although he is book smart he is very naïve towards the rest of the world. Cold usually uses him for his knowledge as he cannot fight and due to his naivety and lack of common sense can easily be lead astray. This quality in him is most enduring and his charm. Oddly enough Juleo is most content with being just a head and rarely requests to use the body preferring for Cold to carry him around. Cold tends to treat him like a little brother and tends to spoil him despite her usual nature.
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Raychard is chipper, a charmer, and along with Gordon act as a great companion to Cold. He’s very good with people and with a bit of talking can get Cold access into restricted areas. Although he seems very happy and teaches Cold much about acting like a proper lady when the need calls for it, he often secretly reflects on his past actions. He often recalls how the woman he loved used him and humiliated him, he shows a deep remorse over having killed a man who might not have known about the situation and harming her, wishing that he could go back to that moment and stop himself.
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Gordon was jaded by his betrayal and angered by his situation of being just a head after lashing out at Cold and the others exclaiming that though he made the agreement to follow Cold he would not help her. As time went on he slowly warmed up to the others when he realized that Cold did not save them and bind them to her so that she could use them but because that was the only way that she could. He sees the others as family and enjoys living hedonistically with Cold. He happily assists her with his sleight of hand skills and his ability to break into places. He does have one wish to confront his old family of thieves as he is still very bitter about what was done to him.


As this is already long enough I’m not putting down how they look.