Yaaay! More!
I like the way you words things and the words you use. I would have to say I like the prologue better because of the imagery, interesting scene of the people and faeries, and mystery of why the girl is there.
Chapter 1 seems abrupt and short; it could probably be merged with chapter 2. I don't like the first three paragraphs (I'll list why). They just seem like they need to be rewritten and edited.
Paragraph 1
I also have no idea what Glastonbury is and it's a little confusing in the first paragraph where they live. A little rewriting might be in order to describe what Glastonbury is and how nobody would mind the girl's family there, and then a clear sentence states that they live in a semi-urban city. I like the way you word things, so my suggestion would be to try to keep most of the original words and add a bit to make the sentences clear.
Like something like (Don't feel obliged to word it like me. I just wanted to give a clear example):
Quote:
Meg sat and wondered for the up-teenth time how she got landed with a family like this. They, the Redworths, belonged somewhere like Glastonbury, a performing arts festival where nobody would look twice at her family's wild red hair, weird clothes (tie dye was a firm favourite in the house much to Meg’s displeasure). Their obsession with the unusual would fit right in. But no, they inhabited a semi-urban street choked up with gossips and giraffe-necked neighbours. Their neighbours constantly craned their giraffe necks to stare and then whisper gossip behind fences.
Paragraph 2
Despite saying that Meg is scientific and logical, I don't feel that you give enough explanation of her family's alien beliefs in folklore and deities. It seems appropriate to describe her family's liking to those things then explain Meg's logical nature and how her parents like to impress their beliefs on her.
Quote:
...but she was also the complete opposite to her child of nature brother...
I would use Stephan's name here, since you're mentioning him.
Quote:
...she had managed to worm her way out of doing Circles every Saturday night
Circles? Not sure what Circles is. Possibly clarify.
Paragraph 3
You didn't explain how her brother is treated differently and yet you say Meg is worshiped like a heirloom teapot and a deity. You also say he's "waltzing into the middle of nowhere," while Meg is getting special attention about fictional attacks on her logical mind. Very confusing.
Quote:
...Megan was treated like the teapot heirloom that her mother worshipped like she worshipped her current deity.
First, "worshipped" is with one p. Second, this is redundant.
I like the description of the Stephan coming in. You seem inclined to describing scenes and action better than inner monologue, but that could be because this was written awhile ago. I haven't read anything else you've written to compare.
Edit and write more now!
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